


The World We Dream About

by boomerangsandadora



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Theatre, Aromantic Toph Beifong, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Disordered Eating, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Friends to Lovers, Hadestown References, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Katara's gender is not the focus so it's very much in the background, M/M, No beta we die like mne, Nonbinary Aang (Avatar), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Past Sokka/Suki (Avatar) referenced, Slow Burn, Sokka (Avatar)-centric, Tags Are Hard, The Gaang adopts Zuko, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, also sokka thinks he's straight, and azula/therapy obviously, and sokka falls in love with his new best friend, bi sokka, bi zuko, but she is canonically a trans icon in this fic, but the internalized homophobia has gotten to him a bit, eventual Dadkoda, he thinks it's great for everyone else to be gay, it'll be okay though he and zuko will work through it together, sokka tutors zuko, tags are not in any particular order!, trans Katara
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 45,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26725138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomerangsandadora/pseuds/boomerangsandadora
Summary: A HS Theatre Kid AU where the gaang is in Hadestown, featuring all our favorite high school nostalgia moments and way too many tropesSokka just wants to be friends with the growly teenager. It's normal to notice how hot your friends are, right?Zuko's dad doesn't know he's starring in the school musical and he definitely doesn't know he's crushing on his cast mate/tutor. Can the world's worst liar stay on his dad's good side long enough to get Azula to agree to move out with him?Katara and Aang are wondering why it's so easy to pretend to be in love on stage. Suki and Toph are sick of their besties being lovesick idiots
Relationships: Background: Aang/Katara, Background: Bato/Hakoda, Mai/Suki/Ty Lee (Avatar), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 538
Kudos: 460
Collections: A:tla





	1. zuko is bullied into following his dreams (and maybe even makes some friends?!)

**Author's Note:**

> It's okay if you haven't seen Hadestown! (But if you have, there'll be some easter eggs and such)
> 
> For Reference, here's everyone's grades and roles  
> Zuko: Senior, Hades  
> Sokka: Senior, Hermes  
> Suki: Senior, one of the Fates  
> Mai: Junior, one of the Fates  
> Ty Lee: Junior, one of the Fates  
> Azula: Junior, Stage Manager  
> Katara: Junior, Eurydice  
> Aang: Sophomore, Orpheus  
> Toph: Sophomore, Persephone
> 
> there's no cws for this chapter but there will be in future chapters and i've added an end note about disordered eating and what to avoid reading if that's a sensitive topic for you!
> 
> Please enjoy! And have a great day xoxo

When he was seven, Zuko had gone on his last family road trip. He’d felt carsick and Azula kept calling him names, but he didn’t care. He was going to see his very first musical. When Ozai headed off for his business meeting, Ursa herded Azula and Zuko to the theatre. The music filled him up, he’d never soared so high. He’d never been so transfixed by music, not even when he was ten and went to see a Broadway show with his mother. The show had been called _Hadestown_ and afterward, its music represented one of the last times he, Azula, and Ursa had been happy together. He idolized the doomed Orpheus, filled with love and hope.

When the Broadway adaptation was announced, when he was fourteen, Zuko quickly downloaded the music. He fell in love with the musical all over again, but found Orpheus’ optimism to be naive. He connected more to Hades, the King working too hard to please an impossible mistress. When the original Broadway cast album finally-- _finally_ \--dropped, he had the new lyrics memorized in a week. 

He wondered, sometimes, if he might ever play Hades on stage. But that was stupid. His father made his position very clear, theatre was a waste of time. He had to focus on school, get into business school, and make a name for himself. There was no point to imagining himself in the spotlight.

~~~

Zuko was sitting in the back row of the chorus chairs, alone except for Mx. Makamara who sat at their desk. They didn’t talk much during their afternoons together--it’d been hard enough for Mx. Mak to get Zuko comfortable enough to stick around after school--just sat and worked. 

Quietly, hoping not to startle him, Mx. Mak asked “Zuko, what’s your dream role?”

“Hades in Hadestown,” he said without a thought. Then, Mx. Mak’s question settled into his brain and he looked up from his homework. His amber eyes stared into spectacled brown ones. “Why?”

“If, hypothetically, Hadestown was the school musical, would you audition?”

Zuko knew Mx. Mak, they’d directed the middle school musicals and been obnoxiously involved in his life ever since he started chorus class as a freshman. Always prodding and poking, trying to get him to embrace his love of theatre. (He appreciated it. He did. But he _couldn’t_ , just being in chorus class was enough of a time waster, so he didn’t need them trying to encourage his supposed ‘talents.’ He had more important things to focus on). 

Because Zuko knew Mx. Mak, he knew that the hypothetical was not hypothetical. That if he said yes, they would choose the school musical based on what he wanted.

He knew he couldn’t say yes. His father would kill him if he knew he was even _considering_ auditioning for the show. 

But Mx. Mak always insisted he should do what he enjoyed, that he shouldn’t let the world push down his talent to make him into a robot. (They could be quite dramatic, always insisting that the education system was a factory that churned out identical robots at the cost of young souls. They implored their students not to fall into that mold, to do what they loved instead.) 

“Even if I would,” he said carefully, “you can’t choose a musical based on what I like.”

Mx. Mak crossed their arms in mock offense. “How could you insinuate such a thing? I, personally, think the underlying theme against capitalism is quite relevant today and that the music is gorgeous. If it also happens to have a perfect role for my favorite senior, well, that’s good planning not favoritism.” 

He blushed at that-- _favorite senior_ \--but shook his head. “There’s only a few main parts and not a lot for the ensemble to do.”

“You know I don’t like working with a large cast, I’ll make cuts if necessary. But, given how many kids choose to prioritize _sports_ ” they said the word the same way one might explain that they chose heroin or alcoholism, “over theatre, I don’t think the small cast size will be an issue.”

“It wouldn’t be fair.”

“You’d still have to audition. If there’s suddenly another student who can sing the part and act it as well as you, then I’ll give it to them. But we both know that no such student exists.” Zuko considered arguing that a freshman could theoretically fit that description, but he’d stage managed the middle school musical. The few boys who even bothered participating in theatre had voices that hadn’t changed yet and only one--a tenor--had been any good. They wouldn’t be any competition.

He studied the white tips of his converse. “My dad would kill me.”

Mx. Mak stayed quiet, waiting to see if he would say more. After too many moments had passed, and it was clear he wasn’t going to expand, they gave him a weak smile. “Maybe you could tell him you’re stage managing? Unless this is the year he’s going to start coming to performances.”

Zuko considered it. They were right, Ozai had never had the time to watch the musicals his children worked on. Long ago that had bothered him--he could tell by the furrow of their brow that Mx. Mak remembered his tears after the sixth grade musical--but he’d gotten over it. Pain was the only thing you could count on Ozai for. “I don’t want you to choose a musical based on me.”

“Okay. But if I happened to choose Hadestown as the school musical based on my own preferences?”

“Yeah. I’d probably audition.”

~~~

Fear and excitement chased each other around Zuko’s heart as he prepared himself to look at the cast list.

The auditions had gone well. Mx. Mak had given him a knowing smile that day in chorus class. He was sure none of the boys who had auditioned could sing in Hades’ range. But he wouldn’t get his hopes up. Not until it was official.

Could he have a role, could he finally-- _finally_ \--get up on the stage like he’d dreamed? Or was he better off in the shadows, where his father insisted he stay?

~~~

Sokka leaned against the wall with Toph, feigning nonchalance, as Aang, Katara and Suki peered nervously at the cast list. 

Suki turned with a smile, while Katara and Aang looked at each other. They grabbed each other’s hands and started jumping and screaming while Suki said, “Toph, you’re Persephone.” Toph’s jaw dropped in surprise. Sokka tilted his head at his ex-girlfriend and best friend.

“You look happy. Who are you?”

Suki's smile widened. “Lachesis, one of the fates. Which, since my singing isn’t quite as good as my dancing, is pretty surprising. But I _am_ excited.” Suki was a spectacular dancer, given all her outside practice with the Kyoshi dance group, but her voice was better than she was implying. 

Katara and Aang joined the smiling circle. “We’re Orpheus and Eurydice!” Katara announced. It wasn’t actually surprising--Aang was a great singer and an even better actor and Katara had been up with some of the best juniors singing for Eurydice at callbacks. 

“Congrats, but is anyone gonna tell me what ensemble role I got?” Despite his nonchalance, Sokka was itching to hear what--if any--role he got.

Katara put her hand on her brother’s shoulder, “I’m really sorry, but . . .” she smiled, “You’re Hermes!”

“No way--you’re lying!” Sokka actually bounded over to the cast list and stared at his name--the first one on the cast list. 

Standing next to him, making the same awestruck face, was Zuko. They’d had a few classes together, but since Sokka liked to sit in the front (to ask the teacher questions) and Zuko preferred to sulk in the back corner, they hadn’t talked much. Scanning the list, Sokka saw Zuko was Hades. He clapped the boy on the back--pulling away when he realized he’d jumped--and said “Hades--that’s awesome. Congrats man!”

“Thanks,” Zuko said. “You too.” Before Sokka could say anything else, he turned and left.

Undisturbed, he strolled back to his friends. “I can’t believe we’re all leads. I mean, I know Suki and I are seniors, so it’s not _that_ surprising, but a junior and two sophomores as leads? I guess you must be good or something.” Toph hit him even harder than her affectionate punches, Aang stuck his tongue out, and Katara rolled her eyes. 

“Hey, you’re the one who’s a surprise. Who knew you’d go from being a tree to a lead?”

Sokka rolled his eyes affectionately at Suki. “It was Wizard of Oz, the trees had _lines_.” 

~~~

“If you aren’t excited already, I hope you will be once you read the script.” Mx. Mak was practically vibrating with excitement. “We all know the story of how Orpheus would’ve saved Eurydice from the Underworld if he hadn’t turned around, but this show really gives it extra depth. Orpheus and Eurydice serve as a representation of what Hades and Persephone were like, once upon a time. And of course, no show is complete without its ensemble. I hope you all understand how important you are, even if you’re not a named character.”

The cast was small, only eight named roles and only ten people (including Teo and Haru) in the ensemble.

As he sat next to Mai (who seemed to be listening to Ty Lee’s whispered rant about some makeup product), Zuko couldn’t help but stare at the ponytail a few rows in front of him. He didn’t have a crush--that’d be ridiculous--but he had to admit the guy was cute. He’d always been cute and Zuko had never spent so much time staring at his ponytail. He was being ridiculous, their conversation hadn’t even lasted thirty seconds. _Just because he congratulated me, doesn’t mean we’re friends_ , Zuko reminded himself, forcing his gaze away from Sokka. 

As the director dismissed them, and Zuko gathered his stuff, he heard a sharp voice. “Yo Zuko!” It was Toph, sitting next to ( _oh, Agni no_ ) Sokka. Toph and Zuko had become friends the year before in drama class. They shared a quick wit and penchant for sarcasm, although Zuko could do without her affectionate punches. 

Shouldering his black backpack (which matched his black sweatshirt perfectly), Zuko went down to Toph. “What do you want?” 

She laughed, “Too busy for your favorite actress? I just wanted to congratulate you. Lord of the Underworld, you look perfect for the part.”

“How would you know?”

Toph smirked, although she seemed disappointed he hadn’t fallen for the joke. “Hope we don’t have to smooch.”

“Why would we--oh Agni, we’re married.” He couldn’t help but laugh. “Weird.” 

Toph cackled. “Good thing I’m blind, otherwise I might fall head over heels in love with you.”

“Trust me, you wouldn’t. You’re not missing out by not being able to see a scarred teen with way too much acne.”

Sokka leaned in, “Dude, don’t be such a downer. The scar looks cool, everyone has acne--” he gestured at a pimple on his forehead-- “and your eyes are really pretty.”

Zuko blushed, if he hadn’t had a crush before, he did now. “Oh, uh, thanks.” Sokka’s eyes were pretty too--should he say that or would that be weird?

“You done flirting?” Toph asked and Sokka jerked back. 

“I wasn’t flirting,” he said, crossing his arms.

Agni, was it so embarrassing to even flirt with the weirdo? Feeling the butterflies of the compliment settle into a pit at Sokka’s apparent discomfort, Zuko was glad to hear Azula’s voice.

“You coming or not, dumb-dumb?”

“See you tomorrow.”

“Bye, hubby!” Toph called.

“Bye!” Sokka waved. 

Although he still felt unsure, Zuko couldn’t help but smile at the apparent enthusiasm with which Sokka waved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first multi-chapter fic, but I've been working on it for a while so updates should come relatively quickly! If you got this far, please stick around because it only gets better. (Or at least, I think so. I don't love this first chapter but I needed it for exposition so stick around for some angst and a bit of fluff too)
> 
> For next time you can look forward to: our first Ozai appearance (BOO!) and a gaang trip to the diner (YAY!)
> 
> If you kudos or comment, I'll really appreciate it. I'm not sure, but I heard somewhere that dogs can tell if you left a comment and kudos and will find you on the street to let you pet them as thanks (100% facts, no lies here)


	2. zuko is initiated and ozai is the worst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ozai is not happy with his son. Sokka helps Zuko with math and drags him on a gaang outing for dinner and ice cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Ozai so, CW: mild violence/child abuse, withholding food from a child. (There will be a running theme surrounding Zuko and Azula's eating habits (more in end notes) so if this makes you uncomfortable, please proceed with caution!)
> 
> If at any point I forget to tag something or you have a specific trigger you'd like tagged please let me know!!
> 
> Also, be warned, the gaang scenes are pretty cute. Try not to combust
> 
> Have a great day! xoxo

After dropping Ty Lee and Mai off, the car was silent except for Azula’s perfectly manicured fingers tapping on the wheel as she waited for the light to turn green. 

“Zula?”

“Hmm?” The light turned green and the car was silent, save for the hum of the engine, as Zuko searched for the right words.

“You know I told dad I was assistant stage managing, right? If you could—“

“Got it.” She said in a tone that said,  _ duh _ .

“Thanks.”

She smiled. “You need all the help you can get after that math test.” 

“Shit, it’s in powerschool already?” Zuko had lost his phone privileges two weeks prior when he’d gotten an B on an in-class English essay. “What’s my average?”

“Eighty-eight.”

“Fuck.”

“But your English grade went up today too: ninety-seven.”

Zuko groaned. Unfortunately his dad didn’t care as much about a good AP Lang score. It was bad enough he was in AP AB Calculus (and not BC) but a B+? He ran through his other grades: 93 in AP Psychology, 90 in AP Economics, 98 in history, 100 in P.E., 92 in AP Biology, and 99 in Speech and Debate. Any sane parent would be happy with a 94--practically 95--average. But Ozai was not sane and he definitely was not happy. 

~~~

Zuko watched with jealousy as Azula smirked and hurried to her room, leaving him to approached the study door. Although his name had just been yelled, he still knocked on the black paint.

“Enter.” He took a steadying breath and opened the door. He closed it behind him and stood at attention a few feet in front of his father.

Shoulders stiff, Zuko read the titles of the leather bound books behind his father, not daring to look at the man at the desk before him. The room was dark, the curtains drawn over the window to his left, and sparse, as if Ozai had decorated with the sole purpose of intimidating any who entered. Ozai finished typing, closed his laptop with a click, and pressed his fingers together. “Do you know why I’ve called you in here?”

“No, sir.”

Mockingly, waiting for the mouse to fall into the trap, Ozai asked, “Not even a guess?”

“My math test, sir?”

Ozai smiled, a cat that had nearly caught its prey. “Would you care to tell me what you received on your math test?”

“A 72, sir.” Zuko trained his eyes on the white toes of his black converse.

Still calm, Ozai asked, “What do you have to say for yourself?”

_ That I panicked. I studied for hours and I thought I’d finally understood how it worked, but half the questions were set up weird and the other half were impossible. _ “It won’t happen again--”

Ozai’s composure wavered as one hand slammed on the table. He laced his fingertips together, taking a breath, before speaking. “Your promises have been broken before. But I am asking, what happened? Do you have an excuse or are you simply to stupid to pass a math test?”

“I understand the math, I was simply thrown off by the phrasing and--”

Ozai glowered. “You mean to tell me that you received a pitiful C- on a test you understood?”

Zuko nodded, not daring to look at the man in front of him.

“I’ve given you every chance to prove yourself,” Ozai said almost without inflection, rising. “Yet no matter the time spent studying, you continue to embarrass this family at every turn.”

“I will get my average--” Zuko’s promises were interrupted by a slap across his face. The touch on his already raw skin caused him to yelp in pain, but otherwise he remained silent.

“Do. Not. Interrupt. Me.” Ozai paused to even out his tone once more, keeping his rage cold. “If any of your grades drop even a point, I will pull you from that play. I don’t care if stage managing helps a resume, it’s pointless when paired with a report card as pitiful as yours. Understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’ll be keeping your phone until your math grade is no longer a B. You hardly need the distraction to disappoint me, I don’t want to imagine what your grades would look like with it.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Get out of my sight before I lose my temper,” Ozai said, shoving his son away so hard he fell. There was no rug to cushion his knees against the dark wooden floor.

“Yes, sir.” Zuko scrambled to his feet and practically ran from the room. 

In his own room, he resisted the urge to curl into a ball on the bed. Instead he pulled out his math homework and set to work, ignoring his throbbing knees. He stayed there all night, powering through hunger when Ozai didn’t call him to dinner. He knew how it worked, hecould eat as much as he wanted when he earned the right. Each time his mind began to wander, he forced himself back to the numbers.

~~~

“Zuko!” Aang called. “Toph wants you to sit with us!” His smile faltered. “Wait, I didn’t mean I don’t want you to too. I do. Toph just wanted me to keep an eye out for you.”

Zuko resisted the urge to shuffle his feet. As he got nearer to Toph, he said “You don’t have to sit next to me just because our characters are married.”

“I’m not. I want to sit next to you cause you’re cool. Or, at least not as lame as them,” she gestured with her thumb at Sokka and Aang, who stuck his tongue out.

~~~

“That’s the fifth time you’ve yawned, Sparky,” Toph whispered as they sat through the ensemble learning their harmonies.

Looking up from his math notebook with a sigh, Zuko replied, “long night. How can you even hear me over the singing?”

“Magic ears to make up for my blindness.” Zuko rolled his eyes. “What kept you up?”

“Homework,” he grunted, not in the mood for a conversation.

“And you’re doing more now?” She asked, exasperatedly. 

“Five AP’s.”

“You’re a senior!”

“So?” 

“You’re supposed to slack off, you know--senior slump?”

Zuko shook his head, although Toph couldn’t see it. “Not if I want a roof over my head.”

Sokka leaned over and Zuko suddenly felt much more interested in the conversation. He tried to ignore the thumping in his chest, “Toph, you’re up.” While Toph approached the piano using her cane, Sokka focused on Zuko. “Did you really say you’re in five AP’s?”

Zuko tried not to be embarrassed, although in the process he snapped,“What about it?”

“Nothing,” Sokka defended, raising his hands and eyebrows in mock defense. Then he shrugged, “I thought taking three was hard.” 

“What are you in, other than Calculus?”

“How do you—oh, right you’re in my class. I’m in bio and lit too. Wanted to take AP Japanese, but my dad made me take honors cause he didn’t want me to be too stressed. How about you?”

“You’re better off in honors. I took the Japanese AP last year, cause I’m a native speaker, and it was rough. I’m in biology too, psychology, economics, and language and composition.”

Sokka smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone call lang by it’s full name. Or psych for that matter.”

Zuko reddened again. He turned back to his math problem, the same one he’d been on for ten minutes. Sokka leaned over, which Zuko pointedly did not address.

“You’re, um, doing it wrong.” 

Resisting the urge to yell, Zuko calmly kept his voice a whisper as he asked, “How?”

Sokka explained how the anti-derivative needed to do one thing and the derivative another and the importance of visualizing the graphs. Despite the level, though, he broke it down so it actually made sense. 

“Agni, it’s been that easy this whole time?” Zuko launched into a quiet explanation of how he’d misunderstood the lesson and had been doing the same work with triple the effort. 

“Zuko!” Azula’s voice caught his attention and he stopped midway through his sentence. 

“Earth to Zuko,” Toph smiled. “Come down to the piano.” 

“Oh sorry!” In his hurry, Zuko nearly dropped all his papers. 

“Here, let me take it.” Sokka took his math notebook, folder, pencil, and worksheets. Zuko grabbed his script and scrambled down to learn the song. 

~~~

“See you tomorrow!”

Zuko stared at the blue pen all over his math, correcting everything with arrows, little emoticons, and lots of notes.

Sokka was almost out the door, his procession was led by Toph, followed by Aang and Katara, and he brought up the rear. 

“Sokka!” Zuko yelled across the music room. 

Sokka turned with a smile, “I hope it—“

“What the fuck?”

The music teacher paused in the middle of teaching Suki, Mai, and Ty Lee their harmony. “Is there a problem, Zuko?”

“Oh, no, sorry.” 

Mx. Mak made a face that said  _ Everyone knows you’re my favorite but also, I can’t let you curse, okay, so please don’t do it again. _

Zuko shoved his backpack on and approached Sokka, blue-covered math notes in hand. 

He tried not to notice the posse that was waiting not far from where Sokka stood against the lockers. 

“Why did you write all over my notes?” Zuko demanded. 

“I didn’t mean to look at them, but they were on my lap so I just noticed you wrote the formula down wrong so I wanted to make sure you had that right and, uh, before I knew it, I was giving you hints and tips on the whole page.”

“I don’t need your help,” Zuko growled. 

“Dude, no offense, but clearly you did. You were doing all that work just to get it wrong.”

“Next time, just tell me out loud and leave my notes alone, got it?”

“Fine, fine.” Sokka’s lips curled, “Next time?”

“I just meant—ugh, never mind!” Annoyed, Zuko started to walk away. 

“Hey, do you want to come to dinner with us?” Aang asked. 

Turning awkwardly, Zuko said “Oh no, I wouldn’t want to—“

“Don’t dip just cause you’re embarrassed,” Toph interrupted.

“I’m not embarrassed!” Zuko insisted in an octave that implied he very much was. 

“I owe you one after I destroyed your math notes,” Sokka added with a smirk. 

Zuko crossed his arms. He was going to decline, but Aang’s puppy eyes and Sokka’s smirk worked their magic. “Fine, but I have to be home before 7.”

“It’s 5:00,” Katara pointed out, “I think we can handle that.”

~~~

Sokka couldn’t decide what it was about the boy—who was so incredibly grumpy—but he wanted to be his friend. He actually remembered wanting to befriend him as a freshman, impressed by his black aesthetic, but had never gotten the chance to talk to the stage manager. His interest in Zuko had nothing to do with his fluffy hair or glowing eyes. And he wasn’t lonely either. No, he must just feel bad for the kid. That was it.

The kid was sitting with his arms crossed, actually trying to do math homework in a diner booth. He was against the wall, with Toph next to him, and Katara next to her. Aang was across from Zuko and Sokka was next to him. 

It had been discovered that Zuko didn’t have any money, so Katara had pointedly ordered fries and onion rings for the whole table. Sokka had only seen Zuko eat one measly fry and that was at Toph’s explicit demand. Wasn’t he hungry?

Aang seemed to be annoying him, asking him questions from “Do you want to see a picture of my dog?” To “Why are you doing homework?” All of which were receiving grunts or one word answers. 

Toph laughed at her own joke (while Katara looked like she was trying not to scold her friend) when she returned to her role as resident Zuko-botherer. “Hey grumpy, give the homework a rest. The world won’t end if you take a break for a bit.”

He mumbled something that sounded like “You don’t know that,” and Toph elbowed him in the side. 

He startled, but covered it with anger. “Fuck, leave me alone, Toph.” She didn’t look that apologetic for a normal person, but anyone who knew Toph could tell she felt downright guilty. 

Instead of voicing that guilt, she said “Come on, at least have a few onion rings. No one but Katara likes them and she’s already full.” This was not true, Sokka had been the one to eat half the onion rings and had definitely seen Toph eat some too, but when Zuko scanned all their faces they nodded solemnly. 

“Well, I wouldn’t want them to go to waste,” he said, taking an onion ring. 

As Zuko ate onion rings faster than Sokka—a feat in and of itself—Sokka had a thought. He gasped dramatically. “Guys, I just realized. Zuko can’t sit here unless he’s initiated!”

This was, of course, completely untrue. Haru and Teo were allowed at their table, even without being officially initiated into the group. Even Jet had sat there once, for the (thankfully) short period he dated Katara. But for some reason, the group had telepathically decided that Zuko (despite his grumpiness) was worth adding to the group. “Without Suki?” Katara asked, “She’ll be mad.”

“What about me?” The girl asked, slipping into the booth beside Sokka. 

“Whoa, nice timing!” Sokka said. 

“We want to initiate Zuko into the group,” Aang explained. 

Zuko looked unsure, “Uh, what does that mean exactly?”

“It means you’re our friend,” Katara said. Zuko smiled shyly and Sokka felt his stomach warm with feelings that were definitely just friendship.

Toph smirked, “But only if you embarrass yourself sufficiently.”

As the group’s resident planner, Sokka launched into an explanation. “So Katara and I have been going here for years, right? So obviously, at one point or another, we’ve stood on the table and shouted something. Katara when I was being a dumb sexist and I did it when I got the best milkshake ever. Aang did it, just cause he got excited, but we made Suki and Toph do it. It’s kinda our thing.”

“To stand on tables and yell?” 

“Exactly! So now it’s your turn.”

“Yeah, no way.”

“I mean, you gotta eat some of these fries first,” Katara added. Zuko took one and she raised her eyebrows, “Like, actually eat fries like you’re not afraid of us.” 

Suki dug out a handful of fries and shoved them in her mouth, “Like this.”

“I really don’t need to join your little gang,” Zuko protested. 

Sokka leaned back and crossed his arms. “Guess you’re walking home then.”

Zuko opened his mouth, closed it, and rolled his eyes. Then, pushing his math homework to the side, he grabbed a handful of fries. He ate them one at a time, (instead of shoveling them in all at once, like Suki had demonstrated) but it was still progress. 

By the time the waitress had cleared the table. Zuko was still unconvinced. “It’s rude! And everyone’s going to stare at me!”

Sokka could tell that Zuko needed a push, so he vaulted himself onto the table with ease. He saw the manager roll his eyes, used to (and unconcerned with) the group’s antics. “Hello, ladies, gents, and folks who don’t fall into those two categories. Today I interrupt your dining experience because my friend,” here he gestured at Zuko who was brighter than a tomato and wishing he were invisible, “refuses to stand on this table. He thinks it’s rude, so I’m going to stand up here and talk to you until Zuko decides to make me stop.” 

Looking as though he’d rather be anywhere else, Zuko slowly stood on the cushioned booth. “This is me,” he said just barely loud enough to be heard, “standing up so that Sokka will stop being an idiot and  _ sit down _ .”

“Ahh, a valiant effort, Zuko, but I must insist that you stand on the actual table. Until then, I will be sharing my opinions on the elements. In order of course. First, there’s Hydrogen. Pretty cool for only having one electron, proton, and neutron, but—“

Zuko placed his feet on the table and stood. “Sit down, Sokka.  _ Please _ .” He immediately returned to his seat. 

Sokka smirked. “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, people of all ages and genders, thank you for your attention. Next time, I'll be sure to get Zuko to give a longer speech.” With a bow, he clambered down to his seat. 

Zuko’s head was in his hands, but everyone at the table congratulated him. The other patrons at the restaurant seemed unperturbed, either because it was a diner or (for most of them) it wasn’t the first time they had seen this particular group of teens cause a scene. 

“I know what we need in order to celebrate,” Aang said excitedly. The whole group (except for Zuko) said “ice cream!”

Aang looked at his friends, “How’d you know?”

They laughed. Katara shook her head with a smile, “You always want ice cream, Aang.” 

~~~

Suki took Aang and Toph which meant Sokka’s car wasn’t as squished, but it did mean Zuko didn’t have Toph’s friendship to help him out. Lucky for Zuko, however, Katara and Sokka were more interested in bickering than trying to converse with Zuko. 

As they got out, Zuko tried to bring his bag with him, but Sokka stopped him. “No way, man. Leave the bag and enjoy some ice cream without your homework.” Zuko shrugged off his bag, but not without glaring at Sokka (who just laughed). 

Toph insisted on buying him ice cream and wouldn’t let him buy a kids cup of vanilla either. She forced him to get double fudge brownie, insisted he get a topping (he got sprinkles cause they were cheapest), and changed the size to a medium when he wasn’t paying attention. He ate the whole thing. 

They were having so much fun—even Zuko, who seemed relaxed after embarrassing himself and having a bowl full of sugar—that no one remembered to watch the time. Until Sokka got a message from a number he didn’t have in his phone that said “where’s my brother? -azula” and read it aloud. 

“Shit, what time—“ glancing at his watch while he spoke, Zuko saw that it was 6:49. “Fuck, I gotta go.”

Sokka shot back “On his way home” to Azula. Toph, Zuko, and Katara got into his car. 

Zuko watched the minutes tick by, wanting to scream at every red light. Even the other passengers seemed to be nervous, Toph didn’t make fun of him and Katara kept her music low. Sokka didn’t tell anyone, but he went four miles over the speed limit—which was at least five miles faster than he usually went. 

At 6:57, Zuko said thank you and ran from the car, not even bothering to wave behind him. He got the door unlocked and hurried up the stairs, falling onto the chair at his desk at 6:59. 

He immediately took economics homework, groaning when he saw how much he had left. A knock on his door startled him and he took a breath before saying, “Come in.”

Ozai studied the perfectly tidy room with disdain, before focusing on his son. “Your sister was home from rehearsal an hour before you. Why was that?”

Zuko studied his feet while he came up with the best excuse he had. “I needed help in math.”

Ozai raised his eyebrows, “You mean to say that you lied to me yesterday?”

“No sir! Well—not intentionally.” Ozai took a step forward and Zuko began to ramble, desperate to defend himself. “You see, I thought I understood but my friend saw my paper at rehearsal and—where is it—-“ he pulled out the crumpled paper from the bottom of his bag, covered in blue ink. “He realized I’d had the formula wrong, which is why I kept making mistakes. And, well, since I’d misunderstood that, I realized maybe I needed more help than I thought and—“

“You’ve been gone for  _ over an hour  _ because you didn’t understand the calculus.”

“Yes, sir. I’m sorry—“

Despite the anger in his eyes and the bite in his voice, Ozai maintained a smile. “If you are too stupid to understand it on your own, then maybe this friend of yours isn’t the worst idea. But I don’t want you simply disappearing for hours again. Have him come here, until your math grade improves.”

_ Fuck. _ “Yes, sir.” He hesitated, he didn’t know how to explain that Sokka was  _ loud _ . “Only. . .”

“Spit it out.”

“He’s not exactly quiet. I understand you want me here, but I worry he will disturb your work—“

“I will be the judge of that. For now, I simply want to meet the boy who was so helpful you didn’t tell anyone of your location.” 

Without waiting for an answer, Ozai strode from the room. Although he hadn’t been asked to dinner, Zuko counted himself lucky that he’d seen his father twice in two days and not suffered worse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> literally fuck Ozai, but hey the standing on tables at diners is a great trope, right?
> 
> We haven't seen Azula eat yet, but Zuko eats fast (and a lot) when he gets the chance. Surely this couldn't be a negative effect from Ozai withholding food from his children, right? 
> 
> Hope nobody noticed that there's no songs in Hadestown that would need the ensemble, Persephone, and Hades without Hermes. Creative license, I guess
> 
> Also, this is more or less the average length I think I'm planning for chapters. Opinions? Do you prefer shorter? Longer? (Also, just generally let me know what you like, I posted this chapter earlier than planned because I got positive feedback if you tell me you like a specific thing there's a decent chance I'll rewrite the whole fic for you)
> 
> Rumor has it that if you leave a kudos and a comment, your favorite atla character will appear in your dreams tonight


	3. sokka meets the world's worst father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka comes over to tutor Zuko and announces that he thinks testing anxiety (and not math skills) might be the problem. Ozai doesn't like this conclusion or the next day when Sokka insists that Zuko should go out with friends instead of studying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: implied violence, discussions of anxiety (including some characters minimizing anxiety)
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to one commenter in particular (you know who you are, love of my life) but every single comment motivated me to keep working on this so it's also dedicated to all my lovely commenters. 
> 
> Also, I think some of you might not like how Sokka acts in this chapter, but I think that he just assumes Zuko's an anxious kid and that parents tend to be good people. That's been his experience so, other than being a bit overbearing, that's his first impression of Ozai. It's frustrating, I know, but it doesn't make sense for Sokka to go worst-case scenario right away. 
> 
> Zuko's last name (Sugita) has been stolen from another writer, but I can't remember who. If anyone knows, please let me know so I can credit them!
> 
> Please enjoy and have an amazing day xoxo

Sokka was sitting backwards in his chair to chat with Teo, who sat behind him, and desperately trying to stay awake (class hadn’t even started yet and already he was exhausted!) when Zuko came over and stood at the edge of his desk

“Hey, Sokka?” He was fidgeting with a thread on his sweatshirt sleeve, keeping his eyes focused on that and not Sokka.

Surprised, but pleasantly so, that his new friend was actually willing to talk to him within school hours, Sokka turned in his seat to face the boy. He looked even more tired than he had the day before, which Sokka had previously thought impossible. “What’s up?”

“I, uh, have a favor to ask.”

“Shoot.”

“Well, I kinda told my dad that the reason I was out was cause you were tutoring me and now he wants to meet you. Today. So I was wondering if—“

“Sounds great! I needed someone to tutor for honors society anyway, so this should be perfect.”

He looked up from the sweatshirt thread, amber eyes wide. “Really?”

“Yeah, no problem.”

“Thank you.” As the bell for first period rang, Zuko shuffled to his place in the back and Sokka smiled at the prospect of seeing him again. 

~~~

Rehearsal was strange because both Toph and Aang insisted he sit next to them, meaning he was sandwiched between them, with Katara next to Aang and Sokka and Suki next to Toph. He’d never been part of a group before—Ty Lee and Mai were Azula’s friends first, not his—let alone in the middle of a group. It was weird, but good weird. 

It took many pointed looks before Aang stopped babbling, but he still insisted on doodling on Zuko’s bio notes. Normally Zuko would be bothered, but Aang’s constant presence was more pleasant than grating. Zuko was creating a study set on quizlet of all the important vocabulary (which there was a lot of) which meant going through all his notes to find the terms. 

“Why does this sentence just end in question marks?” Aang asked, pausing his doodle of a flower. 

Zuko reddened, as he found himself doing all too often with his new group of friends. “I couldn’t hear what she said.”

“Why didn’t you ask?”

“I didn’t want to bother her.”

Toph elbowed him, which was beginning to happen so often he barely flinched. “You need to advocate for yourself.” 

“Yeah, yeah whatever.”

She turned to her right. “Hey, Snoozles, you take AP Bio, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Zuko here has been missing out on lectures and not asking for help. Could you share your notes or something?”

“Of course,” Sokka dug into his bag and pulled out a well-used notebook that clearly was supposed to be green. “My notes are a little messy, but just take it and give it back tomorrow in calc. You can text me if you can’t read anything—oh, do you have my number?”

Zuko couldn’t meet Sokka’s eyes when he said, “I, uh, don’t have a phone. At least not right now.”

“Why not?” Asked Aang, master of subtlety. 

Embarrassed, Zuko fidgeted with the hem of his sweatshirt sleeve. “My dad took it away.”

Aang looked like he was going to ask  _ Why? _ but Sokka’s glare dissuaded him. 

“Well,” Sokka said cheerily, “you can ask me in math or have Azula text me if you need.”

“Thanks.” 

He spent the rest of rehearsal copying over Sokka’s notes—which were barely legible between his scrawled handwriting, penchant for putting things in his own words, and doodles—whenever he wasn’t called up to sing. 

~~~

“Alright, so I can give you a ride?”

“Uh, yeah, thanks,” Zuko said, glancing at his sister who was leaving with Mai and Ty Lee as if she hadn’t noticed he wasn’t nearby. “But, uh we should talk first.” He shouldered his bag and left the music room. 

“What do we need to talk about?” Sokka asked as he led the way to the exit nearest his parked car. 

“My dad doesn’t know I’m actually  _ in _ the musical, he thinks I’m stage managing with Azula.”

“Why wouldn’t you tell him? I bet he’d be proud of you for being one of the leads.”

Sokka didn’t understand why Zuko shook his head so hard. “No, he definitely wouldn’t. He thinks performing is a waste of time.”  _ Oof _ .

“Well, that’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid! Why waste time pretending to be someone else when you could be planning for your own life?”

Sokka held his hands up. “I just meant that it can be fun and art has value. I’m not going to argue with your dad or anything.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”  _ Weird, but fine _ . “So, anything else I need to know?”

“Well, we were studying yesterday. Just us, at the library. No diner or ice cream, just a lot of math, got it?” Sokka nodded. “And, no offense, but just tone it down in my house, okay?”

“Tone what down?”

“Your, uh, personality?” Sokka didn’t particularly appreciate this comment and was about to respond harshly when Zuko held up his hand. “I don’t mean it like that. I just mean that you’re pretty talkative and funny and whatever, but my dad prefers when teenagers are seen and not heard. So, we just gotta be quiet while we study, okay? Sorry.”

Resisting the urge to say  _ your dad sounds like an asshole _ , Sokka smirked. “You think I’m funny?”

~~~

Sokka usually felt a weight off his shoulders when he got home, but Zuko (if it was possible) looked even more stressed than usual. He’d thought all the rules were overkill, but the way he seemed to want to shrink as soon as they entered the house wasn’t reassuring. 

Sokka resisted the urge to take off his shoes, following Zuko into the kitchen. (The irony of the Japanese-American wearing his shoes inside (while Sokka usually did not) was not lost on Sokka).

“Here, we can study at the kitchen table.”

“Your house is really nice.”

“Thanks.”

They sat at the kitchen table, but the elaborate designs on the shining wood made the table alone seem more expensive than Sokka’s whole house.

“Uh, so I have some questions, if that’s okay?”

“Nope. No questions when I help you.” Zuko looked up in surprise and Sokka almost felt bad. “I was kidding. It was a joke.”

“Oh, right,” Zuko returned to searching through his backpack before pulling out a black notebook and folder. 

“Are all your notebooks and folders black? How do you find anything?”

“I keep them in order,” Zuko said, as if this was obvious. Sokka shrugged as he pulled out a red notebook that was stuffed full of papers. “Okay, so your notes from yesterday were really helpful, but I had a couple of things I was still confused on.”

They’d gone through all of Zuko’s questions—and Sokka had forced a few practice problems on him—before they moved on to doing the day’s homework. They were mostly working in silence, as Zuko was actually understanding the concept, but every few minutes they’d compare answers. 

When heavy footsteps approached, Sokka was amazed that Zuko managed to pull his already tight body into a more terrified posture. He watched over his shoulder as he added 1 and 2 and got 3, erased it, put down 5, erased it, put down 4, and with a sigh finally erased it and put 3. Sokka was beginning to wonder if Zuko’s troubles in math were related to something other than the topic itself. 

When a tall, harsh looking man with short hair entered, Zuko stuttered into action. “Father, this is Sokka, Sokka this is—“

“Mr. Sugita,” Ozai interrupted with a smile. 

Sokka reached out his hand, which was met with a cold, tight grip. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Sugita.”

“So, Sokka, you’re in Zuko’s class?” Sokka nodded, enthusiastically. “What’s your grade?”

Sokka shrugged. “I’m not sure, last time I checked it was a 97, maybe a 95.”

Ozai smiled, but it didn’t help Sokka feel any less uncomfortable. “It seems you should be able to help my son get his grades up to par.”

“I hope so.” Although he was getting a strange vibe, Sokka judged Ozai as simply an overprotective parent. So, he decided to divulge what he suspected the problem was. “He’s really smart, so I think the problem might be nerves more than the math itself. My sister struggles with testing anxiety, so I should be able to help.”

Instead of looking reassured, Ozai simply  _ hmmm _ ed and Zuko seemed to be gripping the table tightly. Sokka wondered what he’d done wrong. Was Ozai one of those parents who didn’t believe in anxiety?

“Do you agree, Zuko,” Ozai asked thoughtfully. “Is this ‘testing anxiety,’ what caused your most recent test score?” The way he said the phrase didn’t comfort Sokka.

“No, sir, I had the wrong formula. I could have been calm and I still would’ve gotten problems wrong.”

“But not as many?” Ozai clarified. 

“Maybe, I’m not sure.” Sokka wondered why Zuko was so interested in his sneakers. 

“Thank you, Sokka, I certainly wouldn’t want Zuko’s scores to suffer.” Ozai cocked his head, “Clearly Zuko needs a lot of help. I’m happy to pay you for your trouble—“

“No, there’s no need. I have to tutor someone for National Honors’ Society, anyway.”

Zuko seemed to whiten even further. “I see. Well, I’ll leave you to the studying.” He seemed to be done, but in the doorway of the kitchen he turned, “Oh, and Zuko? Come to my office when Sokka leaves.”

“Yes, father.”

A few moments after his father left the room, Zuko let his head fall onto his papers. 

“Hey, you okay?”

“Testing anxiety?” Zuko hissed, clearly not wanting to be overheard. “Are you kidding me!”

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it just means we should work on staying calm so that the math we work on doesn’t—“

“If you wanted me to get in trouble, you didn’t have to come,” Zuko pushed Sokka’s papers towards him, the subtext clear:  _ Leave _ .

“If I wanted to…what? I don’t understand, what did I do wrong?”

“At least before he thought I was too stupid to do well. Now he thinks I’m just too weak.”

“That’s ridiculous, you’re not weak. Lots of people get anxious—“

“Whatever. Just go home.”

“What? No. We haven’t even finished the homework. Will you explain what I did wrong?”

“My dad expects me to take over the company one day, how am I supposed to do that if I can’t even handle a stupid math test?”

“Look, it’s okay to get anxious--”

“I don’t--”

“Or stressed, whatever. But getting stressed means you learn how to deal with it, then you’re stronger.”

“Maybe. But my dad doesn’t see it like that.”

“Well, let’s just focus on finishing this homework, okay? We’ll figure out how to lower stress levels some other time.”

Zuko  _ hmph _ ed but didn’t argue. They settled back into their rhythm of silence, quiet encouragement, and quick corrections. 

~~~

_ Stupid, stupid, stupid.  _ As his face throbbed, Zuko wished he hadn’t tried to explain to his father that he  _ could _ have been in Honors Society (like Sokka) but Ozai had insisted that the necessary volunteer hours were a waste of time. He wished he’d never brought Sokka over. He wished that he didn’t do everything wrong. As Zuko fell asleep, he wished for a lot of things.

~~~

Zuko’s sweatshirt was pulled further over his face the next day and he fidgeted with the sleeves more than usual. He managed to keep his scarred side of his face under his hair and hood and position himself next to Toph, so no one noticed the bruises on the already red skin. No one noticed the bruises hidden by his sweatshirt sleeves either. 

~~~

“Zuko!” He fell out of step with Mai, letting Sokka catch up to him. “Do you want to come to dinner with us?”

“Sorry, I have an Econ test tomorrow.”

“What about this weekend? Are you around at all?”

Zuko shrugged. “I’m pretty behind on work—“

“Come on, as your math tutor I insist that you take a break every once in a while.”

“Definitely not how that works,” he remembered that his AP psych teacher was giving them the weekend off, so he wasn’t too swamped. He considered the workload--not the downward angle of Sokka’s mouth or his pleading eyes--before he said “but fine. Actually, I was kinda confused about what we did in class today. Do you want to come over tomorrow and then maybe we can do dinner or something afterwards?”

“That sounds perfect! I think they’re doing ‘Doubt Comes In’ tomorrow so Katara, Aang, and Suki will be stuck here anyway.”

~~~

“Who’s your new boyfriend?” Mai asked from her position in the passenger seat. (Which was ridiculous, he was the one actually going home with Azula, why was he in the back!) 

“What?” 

“He’s so cute,” Ty Lee added, “You guys make a good couple.”

“We’re not a couple!”

Zuko could see Azula smirking in the mirror. 

“So why are you suddenly spending so much time with him?” Mai asked with a small smile. 

“He’s my friend.”

“And math tutor,” Azula added helpfully.

“Shut up,” Zuko growled. 

“Awww!” Ty Lee squealed, “Falling for your math tutor? That’s adorable!”

“I’m going to commit a murder.”

“Just one? Does that mean you’re going to kill Ty Lee or Mai? And what are you going to do about the witnesses?”

“Shut up!” Zuko yelled and Azula just laughed. 

~~~

“Okay, that’s all the practice questions and you got ten right in a row.”

“No, I got number 17 wrong.”

“Because you added 3 and 2 and got 1. That’s not a calculus issue. You’d only lose like one point.”

“That’s one too many,” Zuko insisted.

“Okay, well this is what I wanted to talk about anyway. You clearly care a lot about your grades--how often are you too busy worrying about them that you mess up the stuff you know?”

“Grades are important,” Zuko grumbled.

“Based on you avoiding the question, I’m going to take a guess and say I’m right. So, let’s start by taking a breath.” Zuko glared at Sokka, but breathed in through his nose and exhaled through his mouth in time with Sokka. “Good. Now, one important thing to remember is that it’s just a math test.”

“Just a math test?” Zuko resisted the urge to yell and forced a laugh. “Maybe in your house tests are just tests, but my family cares about grades.”

“Okay, so what happens if you fail the next test?”

“I thought the whole point of you helping me was that I wouldn’t fail!” He exclaimed--not yelling, just talking passionately. 

“It is, but when Katara gets anxious, it helps her to remember that even if the worst happens, she’ll be okay.”

Zuko vividly remembered what the worst was--and how not okay it was. Forcing down memories, he shook his head. “It’s not like that. If I fail, I’m dead.” 

Sokka smiled, “See, that’s what I mean. You think it’s going to be worse than it is--”

“No, I don’t.” He knew what had happened last time he’d failed a test--but he wouldn’t think about that. “I lost my phone for two weeks for getting a B on an English essay. If I failed, I’d be lucky not to be kicked out of the house. I’d definitely never be allowed a social life again and I’d be pulled out of Hadestown.” This wasn’t true, this version of events would be a miracle compared to what would really happen. If he failed, being kicked out was the best possible result; getting kicked around was the more probable occurrence.

“That’s intense,” Sokka seemed at a loss for words. “Okay, but the important thing is that you’re not going to fail. You know this, you could do this in your sleep. You just gotta breathe and do it.”

The only thing Zuko knew how to do in his sleep was silence his screams. He didn’t say this. “I’m not going to freak out anyway, I’m not a baby.”

Sokka fixed a glare on him, “People with anxiety aren’t babies.”

“I don’t have anxiety!”

Sokka crossed his arms. “It wouldn’t be a big deal if you did, though.”

“Whatever.”

After an awkward silence, Sokka changed the subject. “Do you have any snacks?”

“Oh. I should’ve asked if you were hungry, sorry.” Zuko got up and opened the cabinet that was supposed to have snacks. He found the box of pretzels empty,  _ thanks Azula _ , he thought while he shoved it back in the cabinet. He pulled open the fridge and scanned the contents in despair. The fridge was practically empty, save for alcohol and half of Azula’s old salad. Before he could slam the door shut, he spied an apple. Azula would kill him--it was some fancy organic apple she’d gotten--but that was a problem for later. “Do you want an apple?”

“Sure, thanks.”

Zuko cut the apple and put it in a bowl which he handed Sokka. He was putting away the cutting board when he noticed the look Sokka was giving him. “What?”

“You didn’t get anything for you.”

Zuko shrugged, “I’m not hungry,” he lied.

“You haven’t eaten in--” Sokka looked at the time, “at least two hours, probably three or four.”

Zuko thought of his painfully early chorus class that doubled as his lunch period, “More like six.”

“What?” Sokka demanded loudly. “You have to eat!”

“I’m fine. And that was the last apple, anyway.”

“Eat half of this or I’ll make you go out for food right this second.”

Zuko sighed and took a piece of apple. It was pretty good, not that he’d ever admit it to Azula. “You have to take care of yourself!” Sokka insisted again, still practically yelling.

“If you’re done yelling at me, I had some questions about bio.”

~~~

Sokka was half way through his dramatic reinterpretation of what Zuko hadn’t been able to hear in class, when Ozai entered the kitchen.

Zuko froze, erasing the laugh from his face, and Sokka trailed off. “Boys,” Ozai said, “I would like to know what’s so exciting about calculus that I can hear you in my office.”

Zuko seemed to be searching for the right words, so Sokka fixed Ozai with a grin. He definitely didn’t like the man--between his apparent disbelief in mental illness and stress on grades--but he knew how to charm adults. “Sorry, we finished all our calc so I was explaining some bio stuff and I guess I got a bit carried away.”

Ozai smiled, although Zuko didn’t relax. “I just wanted to make sure you were focusing.”

Still stiff as a board, Zuko asked “Father, could I go out to dinner with Sokka when we finish studying?”

As expected, Ozai couldn’t say what he wanted to with Sokka present. He seemed calm when he said, “You know you’re not allowed to go out until your math grade improves.”

Zuko nodded, but Sokka frowned. “But Mr. Sugita, Zuko’s grade  _ can’t _ go up until there’s a test and he’s already completely prepared.”

Zuko thought he couldn’t feel anymore sick, but the smile his father fixed on him proved him wrong. “Well Zuko, if you’re certain you don’t have work to do in any of your classes, then by all means, go.”

Still unaware of the discomfort in the room--Ozai wasn’t outwardly threatening and, as far as he knew, Zuko was just being Zuko--Sokka smiled. “Yay! Thank you, Mr. Sugita. I think a break will be good for Zuko, he spends all his time working.”

“Don’t miss your curfew and study quieter.” Ozai left the room.

Zuko let his head  _ thump _ against the table. “Are you okay?” Sokka asked.

“Just--just stop talking to my dad, okay?”

“What? I thought you’d be happy to come out with us.”

“I am, but you can’t talk to him like that. It’s rude.”  _ And I’m the one he’s going to punish. _

“Rude? I just said that you couldn’t get your grade up yet. I know your dad has high standards, but he wants you to have a life too, doesn’t he?”

“Look, it’s almost five thirty. Let’s go pick everyone up, I have to be home by 7.”

“That’s an absurd curfew,” Sokka said as he packed up his bag. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I know a lot of people were looking forward to seeing Ozai and Sokka interact so I hope these relatively uneventful interactions satisfied everyone. If not, just know Sokka will join the Fuck Ozai club soon enough. 
> 
> Shout out to Zuko for putting an empty box of pretzels back in the cabinet. Personally, I think that's the funniest part of this whole chapter. (Although I also liked "You think I'm funny?" and Toph bullying Zuko into getting help)
> 
> Feel free to let me know if I missed any typos/gramamtical errors. This chapter really could've used another once over, but I have to get back to homework and I know the next few days are gonna be crazy so I decided to just post.
> 
> Next chapter, as well as pizza and ice cream, will feature Hakoda for the first time. I'm hoping to update once a week on Fridays or Saturdays, but that was the plan for this week soo........Time is a construct and the next chapter will be up at some point
> 
> Don't fact-check this, but apparently if you leave kudos or comment you're more likely to find the perfect crunchy leaf to step on. (If you're reading this in a future time when it is not October, rumor has it the next time leaves begin to fall, the trees will remember to put a crunchy boi in your path)


	4. zuko has some normal teen experiences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gaang gets pizza, Suki says something she shouldn't have, Zuko and Sokka play Mario Kart, and Zuko sees a home very different from his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really did want to get this out over the weekend, but depression said no. Hopefully it's worth the wait.
> 
> Shout out to @thelostcolony who was ready to give me Mario Kart characters for the gaang with explanation. I've refrained from giving specific recs of some of my friend writers every week, but since I have to credit her ideas anyway, go give her fics a look! (And I'm pretty sure she doesn't read this fic, so she doesn't even know I'm reccing her!) And once again, because I'm cheesy, this chapter is dedicated to all my commenters. 
> 
> tw: referenced ozai horribleness, brief zuko expecting similar horribleness from hakoda
> 
> I think you can see my identity crisis over whether I want to type in lower case for the gay aesthetic or in capitals for correct english. Anyway, please enjoy and as always make good choices xoxo

The pizza parlor was small which only added to the coziness. It was one of many in their small town (and a point of contention between the group since Katara and Suki would argue fiercely for why the place down the street was better, only to be drowned out by Sokka and Toph) but it was never empty. The teens stood by the counter, to order, but had already secured a table. It was the type of place where you could put down backpacks without worry, no one would dare use the warm lighting as an excuse to try to steal in the tiny place. Plus, with every customer smiling, it was hard to imagine thieves would want to ruin the mood.

After Katara and Sokka bickering over their order (Katara insisted he didn't need three pieces, but gave in anyway), Aang's vegetarian order, and Suki covering Toph, Zuko finally stepped up to the cash register. His voice, so commanding as the Lord of the Underworld, suddenly faltered as he meekly ordered two slices. The cashier had to get him to repeat himself twice and although Zuko's blush increased with each repetition, his volume did not. As he nodded at the question of "That all?" Suki interrupted.

“You sure you don’t want a drink?”

“I only brought enough for the pizza,” Zuko explained.

“Oh, what do you want? I’ll cover you.”

“I don’t need your charity.” he snapped at her. 

“Wow, I was just trying to be nice.”

“Sorry.” He took a breath. “Thank you--but no thank you.” He returned his gaze to the cashier who indicated the amount due and he handed over his ten dollar bill. He then tried to walk away, but Suki stopped him, reminding him gently that he needed his change. His blush deepened. 

Once they settled at their table, they spent dinner gossiping, discussing everything from Jet’s fifth suspension to Teo’s theory that the new science teacher was really a werewolf.

“Oh, Suki, you have to tell Sokka what happened in rehearsal!” Katara said.

“Oh, I was ready to fight a bitch. Okay, so it was just Aang, Katara, Ty Lee, and Mai at rehearsal, right?” Sokka nodded. “And I’m the middle harmony, okay? But we all know I can’t sing for shit--”

“That’s a blatant lie--”

“Whatever, I’m not the best singer, right? So, Mx. Mak has everyone go on break so they can help me. And Mai and Ty Lee go over to Azula—she was there too obviously—so the little squad is all together. And Azula, super loudly, says how I’m the worst Fate and that’s why Mx. Mak had to work with me. And Ty Lee, well she’s such a sweetheart, and she said something nice about ‘Well, her part’s hard, she’s trying her best, right Mai?’ And this emo bitch _shrugs_ and says ‘I wish she’d learn it faster.’ Like she hasn’t been fucking her part up the whole time too. Ugh, if Mx. Mak wasn’t trying to teach me harmonies, I would’ve given Mai and Azula a piece of my mind.”

While the rest of the group nodded in sympathetic agreement, Sokka--since the story was addressed specifically to him--spoke. “That’s so rude! I don’t get why Ty Lee hangs out with those girls, she seems so much nicer than them.”

Because he had no filter, Zuko heard himself talking although he didn’t mean to. “Mai’s not a bad person.”

Suki seemed to realize that he was there. “Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to talk bad about your sister--”  
  


“No, Azula was being a bitch. But Mai was just bored--”

“Then she could’ve said that! She didn’t have to imply that I was a shitty singer.”

Zuko shifted back in his seat, just a bit. “I’m just saying she’s not a bad person. She probably didn’t want to fight with Azula.”

“Maybe, but she’s always being rude to Suki. At least Ty Lee talks to her,” Katara added.

Zuko shrugged, not liking all the attention on him. “Mai just doesn’t talk much.”

“Guys, maybe we should talk about something else,” Aang offered.

“No,” Suki snapped. Aang seemed to be motioning, trying to get her to stop, but she kept going. “I don’t understand why Zuko’s defending her. I’m not saying she’s the devil, but I’m saying she’s rude. There’s a lot worse things I could say about Mai, like how she’s an emotionless bitch, but--”

“Hey Ty Lee! Hey Mai! How are you guys?” Aang interrupted. 

“Apparently I’m an emotionless bitch,” Mai said, surveying her fingernails blankly.

“Shit, I didn’t mean that--”

“Whatever, I just wanted to give this to Zuko.” She handed over a stack of papers with small, neat writing.

“Thanks, Mai," Zuko said with an apologetic smile. He put the papers down next to his plate as he finished his second slice of pizza.

Mai left to stand in line with Azula, but Ty Lee stayed. She was frowning. “Suki, I thought you were nicer than that. It was really mean of you to say those things about Mai.” She walked away, seeming to lack her usual flounce, but pausing to give Mai a half-hug in the line.

“Well, fuck.”

After a silence, Toph decided to try to distract Suki. “What did Mai give Zuko?” 

“Just a stack of papers.” Zuko supplied helpfully.

“Blank paper?”

“No,” Zuko didn’t elaborate. Unfortunately for him, the papers were in plain view so Sokka leaned around him to grab them. 

“What’s M N F H D B F? These just look like psych notes, why is it titled mnfhdbf?”

“Mai’s notes for her dumb boyfriend,” Zuko said quietly, the long title rolling off his tongue easily.

“WHAT?” Everyone but Toph exchanged surprised glances. 

“Oh, uh, best friend now, I guess.”

“Huh?”

“We dated for almost all of junior year. I'm surprised you didn't know. We use to make out in the costume closet, like a lot."

"Gross! We did not need to know that, Sparky."

"We’re just friends now. She still takes notes for me cause she knows I can’t always hear what the psych teacher’s saying.” 

“Well, I guess that explains why you defended her. Want to tell her sorry for me?”

“You have to tell her yourself,” Katara said.

“I was kidding. Ugh, can we go get ice cream? I want to pretend this never happened.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

~~~

Aang held up his chocolate ice cream with sprinkles. “Shoot, I forgot I’m vegan. I can’t eat this.” He held it above the garbage, but turned slowly to Zuko. “Zuko? Will you eat it for me? I don’t want to waste it.”

"No."

Zuko gave in after Aang’s seventh _please!_

It was only after Aang had ordered sorbet--and Zuko had consumed half his cup--that Zuko crinkled his eyebrows. “Wait, you ate pizza!”

Aang at least had the decency to blush. “Yeah, I’m only vegetarian. I just wanted you to have ice cream.”

Resisting the urge to yell at him, Zuko said “Thanks.”

~~~

Zuko sat with the wall against his back when Sokka and Katara walked by. “Zuko? Rehearsal’s only for the fates today.”

“Yeah, I’m just waiting for Azula.”

“Why don’t you come over?” 

“It’s Friday.”

“So?”

“Why would you want to study on a Friday?”

“I don’t. I want to hang out, maybe play some video games. Come on, I’ll drop you home after.”

~~~

“Daaaaad!” Katara yelled as soon as they entered the house. “Sokka brought a boy home!”

“Tattletale,” Sokka grumbled. He slipped his shoes off and Zuko awkwardly followed his lead. 

A tall man came downstairs, dressed in a blue t-shirt and old jeans. “Sokka, you know Friday’s are family night.”

“Sorry, sir, I can--” Zuko began, ready to walk the four miles home.

The man smiled. “I don’t believe we’ve met, I’m Hakoda.” He offered his hand.

“Zuko.” Zuko shook, trying to balance respect with the strong grip his father had taught him.

“You’re more than welcome here, Zuko, but I’d appreciate it if my son at least _pretended_ to listen to my rules.” 

Sokka shrugged. “I knew you’d like him.”

“If Sokka gets a friend, can I invite Aang?” Katara asked.

“Aang has martial arts today,” Sokka said, “and he promised Gyatso he’d clean his room.”

“Ugh, boys," Katara complained. After giving her dad a half hug, she headed upstairs. 

“Zuko, put down your bag, make yourself at home.”

Zuko placed his bag on the ground, but still looked uncomfortable. “Let’s get snacks,” Sokka offered.

He led Zuko to the left, into the kitchen. Zuko was horrified to find that this room contained yet another person to meet. “Gran Gran, this is Zuko.”

The old woman smiled at him from her seat, too tangled in yarn to try to get up. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you, but Sokka forgot to mention you’re a little gentleman.”

Sokka groaned, “Dude, you’re making me look bad.”

“Sorry?” Sokka laughed at how lost Zuko looked.

“What do you want to eat?” Sokka asked, already pouring popcorn into a bowl. Zuko shrugged. 

“Are you staying for dinner, Zuko?” Sokka nodded at Gran Gran’s question.

“I don’t want to intrude, I can eat at home--”

“No, you look like you could use a good, hearty meal. You’re way too skinny.”

“Leave him alone, Gran Gran." Sokka moaned. "Can’t you tell he’s shy?”

Hakoda’s voice made Zuko jump, he hadn’t seen the man follow them into the kitchen. “We’re just trying to welcome him.”

Sokka grabbed the popcorn bowl with one hand and Zuko’s wrist with the other. Sokka was preoccupied with being embarrassed, so he missed how Zuko flinched, but the two parents in the room did not. 

~~~

“Do you want to play Mario Kart? Or we can watch Netflix or like pretty much whatever.”

Zuko shrugged, then offered, “I’ve never played Mario Kart before.”

“Duuuude! You’re missing out. Big time. Come on, I’ll show you how it works.”

~~~

“I’m always Bowser cause he’s got the same energy as me.”

“What energy is that?” Zuko asked, silently berating himself for phrasing the question like an english teacher.

“I don’t know, like chaotic? And he’s really smart too with all these traps and shit.”

“Which one fits my energy?”

“Just choose whichever one you vibe with,” Sokka encouraged. Zuko gave him a panicked look that said _I don’t know what the fuck that means and also I don’t know who I am so how am I supposed to choose a character like me?_ “Calm down, buddy. Why don’t you be Shy Guy, that masked red guy?”

“Thanks,” Zuko mumbled as he moved his cursor onto Shy Guy. He wasn't sure how he felt about learning that he gave off Shy Guy vibes. He wasn't sure he knew what that meant.

“Okay, now just choose one of the bikes, they’re fastest.”

~~~

“Dude, no!” Sokka paused the game as he laughed, “You only have to tilt it like this much, you’ll just confuse it if you lean into it that much.”

“Right. Guess I got a little too into it.”

“You aren’t doing that bad so far.”

“I’m in eleventh place.”

“Well, you’ll get better.”

~~~

“What the fuck! I never should’ve helped you.”

“You’re just jealous that I’m in fourth place and you’re in seventh.”

“I’m right behind you, I’m going to get a shell and regain my throne, you’ll see!”

~~~

“Damn it! Rainbow road is impossible!”

Zuko smirked. “Did you fall off again? Are you in last place?”

“Not for long, ha! I got the bullet!”

“Well Mario just got blue shelled, so guess who’s in first place?”

“ _First_? But you’ve never played before! You have got to be kidding!”

“Aaaand finished!" In an announcer voice, Zuko said "First place goes to newcomer Zuko who absolutely destroyed veteran driver Sokka.”

“I finished _fifth_ , you did not destroy me.” Sokka crossed his arms. “You lied, you’re a Mario Kart professional or something.”

Zuko was pretty sure he was joking. So ignoring the paranoia that reminded him of how Azula used to act on the rare occasion he won a game, he smiled. “You wish. I’m just naturally talented.”

Sokka reached into the bowl of popcorn and, instead of eating his handful, threw a piece at Zuko. “That’s what you get for being a stuck-up, Mario Kart cheater!” he followed the insult up with an assault of popcorn pieces.

The ridiculous claim and the look on Sokka’s face as he pelted Zuko with popcorn made his stomach fill with butterflies. He reached into the bowl to throw some back, pushing the thought that he’d do anything to keep Sokka smiling to the back of his head. That was probably a normal thought when you had friends, right?

~~~

They were half way through Bowser’s Castle when Hakoda opened the door to check on the boys. 

“Sokka! Are you kidding me!” His exasperated voice caused Zuko to jump, but Sokka just paused their game of Mario Kart and looked expectantly at his dad. “How did you spill so much popcorn?”

“Oh. Zuko beat me so I throwing it at him and--”

“Zuko, stop picking it up.” Zuko froze, dirty popcorn filling his palm. “If anyone should be picking it up, it should be Sokka.” Sokka did not flinch under his dad’s scolding gaze, even as Zuko wished he could melt into the couch and disappear.

“I’ll vacuum later,” Sokka promised as Zuko awkwardly put the pile of popcorn on the couch’s armrest. 

“Fine, but don’t forget. I don’t want bugs.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Hakoda turned to go, but paused. “Oh, before I forget, what’d you get on that English essay?”

“70.”

Zuko’s eyes widened and he shifted his weight, ready to go between Hakoda and Sokka. (Just because it wasn’t his fight didn’t mean he’d let his friend get hurt. Maybe the grade was Sokka’s fault, but Sokka wasn’t like Zuko. He didn’t deserve the pain Zuko did.)

“Well, what did you learn?”

“Reading the book is kinda important.” Sokka’s flippant tone caused Zuko’s heart to pound faster. Wasn’t he going to apologize? Or--?

Instead of yelling or even reprimanding, Hakoda just laughed. “Alright, glad you figured out that mystery.”

Sokka stuck out his tongue. Zuko was sure that if the grade alone wasn’t bad enough, this disrespect was going to be. “A lot of people weren’t reading it. I wanted to see if that worked for me. Apparently it does not.”

Hakoda shook his head. “Bato would be proud.” Zuko carefully eased back into the couch. He didn’t understand, but it seemed Sokka was going to be fine. He couldn’t tell if that was just for now--father never yelled at him in public--or if Hakoda just didn’t care. Maybe, he realized, it was like Azula. An occasional stumble could be excused because it wasn’t the norm. Only kids like Zuko needed to be reminded of their mistakes. 

“Yeah, where is he?”

“He’ll be home soon.”

“Bato?” Zuko asked. 

“My boyfriend.”

“Oh,” Zuko tried not to look so surprised. “Cool.” This household was clearly very different from his own.

~~~

As they ate a gigantic meal, Zuko sat next to Gran Gran, across from Sokka and Katara. Bato and Hakoda were at the table’s heads. 

“So, Zuko, who do you play in the musical?”

“Hades, sir.”

“Just Hakoda is fine.” Zuko held in a ‘Sorry, sir’—he’d already been told to stop apologizing by both Bato and Gran Gran. “So, Hades in _Hades_ town. You must be pretty excited.”

“Yes si—uh, yes. I hadn’t auditioned before so I’m really excited to be a lead. But I mean, Sokka and Katara are the real leads.” 

“Zuko’s just being modest,” Katara said. “Hades is just as important as Eurydice.” Although Sokka had told Katara on numerous occasions that Hermes, as the narrator, was the most important character, he stayed silent. Almost as if boosting Zuko’s confidence mattered more to him than undermining Katara.

“Why didn’t you audition before now? Clearly you’ve been depriving the school of talent,” Bato added. 

Zuko looked awkward, as he so often did. “My dad’s not a big fan of theatre.”

“Well, I’m glad he came around,” Hakoda said, “I was definitely surprised when Sokka first auditioned. I always thought he was more of a jock, but he's a theatre kid through and through.”

“I remember his friends from soccer. He never talked about them as much as he talks about you.”

“Bato!” Sokka moaned. 

Katara smirked. “Zuko looked so pretty today and—ow!”

“Sokka, don’t kick your sister.” Hakoda sounded tired, nothing like Ozai would sound if Zuko dared squabble with Azula.

“I didn’t kick her.”

“Step on my foot again and I’ll kill you.”

It wasn’t directed at him, but Zuko believed Katara's threat completely.

~~~

“I’m sorry to miss dessert, but if I don’t get home my father will be upset.”

“Oh, wait just a minute, dear. I’ll get you a Tupperware.”

Sokka smiled at Zuko, “Trust me, it’s worth it.”

A few moments later, Gran Gran offered a large slice of her pie. “Here.”

“Thank you, you’re too generous.” Zuko turned to Bato and Hakoda, who were still sitting. “Thank you for having me.”

Hakoda beamed at Zuko. “Anytime. Please come again.”

“Just don’t expect the food to be this good if you come on a night when Koda cooks,” as Hakoda and Bato dissolved into bickering, Sokka led Zuko out of the house. 

They listened to "Creep" by Radiohead from Sokka’s speakers, silent for a few minutes. Then, “Sorry my family is so crazy.”

“Are you kidding? Your family’s great. Are they really that nice all the time?”

“I mean Katara can be pretty rude and everyone has their moments—you don’t want to see Gran Gran mad—but in general, yeah. That’s pretty much what everyone’s like.” Sokka pulled into Zuko's driveway.

“Wow. That must be awesome.”

Before Sokka could find out why exactly Zuko sounded so surprised, Zuko slipped out of the car and ran into his house with an awkward wave. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't say this in the beginning notes cause I don't want people going in with negativity, but I don't really like this chapter? Just a few writing things and characterization wise, it's just eh. Hopefully I'm just overthinking, but if not, sorry. 
> 
> Next week I think you're going to be getting a chapter around Hadestown lyrics as they learn them, so that I can flex my ~symbolism~ muscles. But that was supposed to be included in this chapter, so...
> 
> This week, instead of promising a crunchy leaf or a puppy, I'll tell you the truth. If you comment on this fic a socially anxious teen will respond to thank you for your kind words. I'm pretty sure my awkwardness does not add to the commenting experience, but I respond anyway because I want y'all to know how much you mean to me. The fact that this has just over 80 kudos is crazy. I really appreciate everyone who kudos and/or comments.
> 
> I also keep meaning to tell y'all my tumblr is also boomerangsandadora in case anyone wants to find me there? I don't know why you would, but if you do, there it is. (Not linked cause I need to go to bed not learn how to use ao3) If you message me/send an ask saying you came from my fic I will cry. (That's a threat <3)
> 
> Okay, enough sappy rambling. Tell me what you thought of Mario Kart and the Pizza fiasco (what do you think is going to happen between Mai and Suki?) or don't, either way have a great day!


	5. zuko eats some pie and suki briefly makes up with mai and ty lee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back folks!! Sorry for the wait, but it'll be worth it because this chapter: We get to find out what Ozai thinks of Zuko getting a slice of pie, Suki talks things through with Mai and Ty Lee, and rehearsal includes some interesting friendship dynamics!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Violence/child abuse from Ozai. **PLEASE NOTE THAT THE DISORDERED EATING IS REALLY HEAVY IN THIS CHAPTER** I'm updating the tags of the story cause that's become a bigger theme in this story than previously anticipated. Sorry y'all, wanted to make Ozai’s evilness ~unique~
> 
> The drama is kind of high in this chapter, and the Ozai part in the beginning was really just being like "well I don't want him to take the pie away, oh you know what would be really evil?" so sorry in advance for that. Also less symbolism than promised in this chapter cause I had to cut it in half, otherwise it would be posted even later and I figured a month was a long enough wait. (I'm really really sorry y'all, writers block and perfectionism and finals all screwed me over)
> 
> Also, as a white author I wanted to address something: Mx. Mak has a Kenyan last name and I was originally imagining them as a different ethnicity that hadn't been specified, but when I found out that Makamara was a Kenyan name I decided I wanted to be true to that with Mak, so in this chapter it is mentioned that they are Black. Because of this, I wanted to just clarify my own intentions now. Although they do have a personality and their own traits and quirks, Mak's main role in the story is to support the gaang and I want to be clear that I am NOT trying to perpetuate the stereotype that Black people are there only to support others. *I* know this stereotype was not a factor in my writing of Mak (since I literally planned the story and their role imagining them as a different ethnicity but then changed it because there was no reason not to add the representation) but I wanted to address this openly in case it comes off differently. If I have been offensive/insensitive in anyway that is NOT my intention. With anything in my writing (including the Inuit, Japanese, and any other identities) if I make a mistake, please bring it to my attention so I can proceed respectfully.
> 
> This note was long and so is this chapter, but I hope you enjoy! Have a day as amazing as you xoxo

Zuko pulled the door closed behind him and started up the stairs when he heard his father clearing his throat. He turned to see his father frowning. “Care to tell me why your sister arrived home before you, _again_?”

Even though his position on the stairs put him above Ozai, Zuko felt small. He felt as if he were melting into the floor. “I--I stayed--after, um, rehearsal--to talk with a friend, and--and he drove me home when we were done.”

“Would I get the same story from your sister?”

He tried to keep his hands out of sight as he fought the urge to fidget. “Yes sir.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Ozai growled.

“No, I--I wasn’t at rehearsal today--I wasn’t needed,” he admitted. His father’s hand wrapped around his wrist tight, so tight it burned, and brought him tumbling down the few steps so he was back on the ground level.

Not releasing his grip, even as Zuko stared mutely down at the white tips of his converse only a foot away from his father’s black dress shoes, Ozai demanded to know, “Then where were you?”

“I was at Sokka’s.”

“And what were you doing there, until seven?”

“Math.”

Zuko dared to look at Ozai’s face and his eyebrows were raised in surprise. “Why don’t you show me your notes?” He finally let go of Zuko’s wrist.

Resisting the urge to rub his wrist, Zuko fumbled for his backpack. “Well—Yes sir, just give me a minute to--”

“Now,” Ozai commanded.

Zuko unzipped his backpack, trying to decide what to do when his math notebook didn’t have any proof of the studying he hadn’t done that afternoon. Instead, his unzipping revealed something he had forgotten in his panic: a piece of apple pie in a tupperware at the top of his bag. His father grabbed the container, its contents still warm.

“What is this?” Ozai demanded.

“Sokka’s grandmother made pie, she wanted me to try it.”

“So you already ate dinner, without us?”

Not knowing the correct answer, but hearing anger in Ozai’s tone, Zuko stuttered out “N-No sir.”

Ozai smiled, not seeming to believe his son, although his words indicated he did. “Good. Put your bag away and come to the dining room. We were just about to eat.” 

Ozai strode off, still holding Zuko’s pie, and Zuko felt like his hands were trembling as he zipped his backpack up. He brought it up the stairs, placed it near his desk, and held out his hand. It wasn’t really shaking. It was just adrenaline making it feel like it was. He took a deep breath, he needed to stop being so dramatic. He was fine.

With another deep breath, he closed the door to his room and descended the stairs, each step getting him closer to his doom, although what exactly his doom was remained unclear. He crossed the kitchen, reaching the table where Azula smiled and Ozai’s eyes shone. 

“Now, Zuko, make sure you eat up. I know you have that dreadfully early lunch period and you must get _so hungry_.” Zuko finished his miso soup and began eating his white rice. Never before had something so simple felt so difficult to eat, but he was already so full. 

As they moved onto the main dish, Japanese curry, Zuko regretted accepting Kanna’s offers of seconds--and even three servings of some of the delicious Inuit cuisine--as he stared down at the heaping of curry before him.

“What’s the matter, Zuzu? Did you already eat?”

“No,” Zuko said--because admitting a lie was asking for more trouble--”But I’m not that hungry tonight.”

“Well, you better finish your plate anyway,” Ozai warned in a voice that was almost sickly sweet. “You know how I feel about waste.”

“Yes, of course, sir.” Zuko wondered where Ozai’s hatred of waste had been last night when Azula had thrown out her hambāgu after taking only two bites, but then he shook the thought from his head. Azula had her reasons, Zuko was sneaking around. Besides, Ozai could afford to be lenient with Azula. _Azula_ wasn’t a failure.

He was choking down the curry--the spicy sweet taste almost sour on his tongue--when his father asked how the play was going. As if he wasn’t uncomfortable enough already.

Azula smiled, “It’s going well, although the actor who plays Hades is a real pain, he never remembers where he’s supposed to be.”

While their father nodded, Azula smirked at Zuko. He fought the urge to kick her under the table. “And how’s it feel to be in charge of your brother?”

“It’s fine, he knows what to do well enough. I think the hardest part for him is remembering to listen to my directions without complaining.” Azula said it lightly, the way Katara might complain about Sokka. But Ozai wasn’t Hakoda and even an allusion to Zuko misbehaving brought a lump to his throat. Or maybe that was all the food he’d eaten.

“You’ll do well to listen to your sister,” Ozai instructed. “She knows what she’s doing better than you, that’s why she’s stage manager.”

Zuko nodded and the conversation drifted back to Azula’s academics. He tuned out, distracted by the increasing nausea in his stomach. He felt like he was going to burst and he still had half his plate left. 

Bite by painful bite, he finally shovelled the last morsels of curry down. Ozai smiled, “Would you like seconds?”  
  


“ _No_ \--No, thank you, sir.”

“Azula, you’re dismissed.” Azula spared Zuko a single glance. Her gaze held curiosity, not a single shred of worry (or pity).

Ozai rose and placed the tupperware in the microwave. As it spun, he grabbed a carton of vanilla ice cream from the freezer. He removed the tupperware, placed the large slice on a plate, and piled on two heaping scoops of ice cream. He then grabbed a second bowl and placed a single scoop inside. He put away the ice cream, grabbed a spoon and a fork, and carried the dishes back to Zuko.

“You should have the pie, sir. Sokka’s grandmother was very proud, I’m sure you’d--”

“She meant it for you,” Ozai cut in, placing the plate in front of his son. Zuko stared at the mountainous dessert. 

Zuko couldn’t help but think of a book he’d read in elementary school. Some Roald Dahl book--the title was a girls name, Maria or Marina or something--and there was a scene where a boy had stolen a slice of cake. He had to eat an entire cake in front of the school. Zuko didn’t remember much about the book, but he remembered that in scenes like that one--where a character was punished--that the main girl, Marina (or whatever), was horrified. Some of Zuko’s classmates seemed to think it was unfair too, but Zuko hadn’t understood. He still didn’t. There had to be punishments for your actions. Zuko didn’t quite understand why hanging out with Sokka in the afternoon was so bad, but if this were a punishment, then he must deserve it. Father only punished people who deserved it. (He wasn’t even sure it was a punishment, Ozai seemed to be trying to be nice). Plus, if this was his punishment--having to eat too much--well, at least it was different from all the nights he went hungry. He picked up the fork and focused on the taste--it was a delicious pie--and not the aching of his stomach. 

He felt vaguely like he was going to throw up, but he just kept thinking about how hard Kanna must have worked on getting the apple slices so thin and the pie crust so flakey. 

“The next time you aren’t needed at rehearsal, what are you going to do?”

Zuko swallowed, wondering whether the pie or his father’s words were making his stomach ache worse. “What would you like me to do, sir?”

“Are you telling me that at seventeen years old you don’t know what to do when the school day is over? That’s too complicated for you?”

“I could walk home, sir.”

Ozai scowled. “And waste all that time? No, you should stay at the school working on your homework until your sister is ready to drive you home.”

The walk did take nearly forty five minutes--it was about two miles--but Zuko didn’t understand. Why was he allowed to stay at school to work, but his father was angry at him for working with Sokka? He hadn’t worked with Sokka, of course, but as far as he could tell, his father didn’t know that. He wasn’t even sure his father knew he’d eaten dinner--he just wanted to make sure Zuko was eating and it was his fault that he had already. 

Instead of trying to understand--or asking questions--Zuko said, “Yes sir.”

His father’s watchful eyes remained until he finished eating. Then, leaving his own empty bowl behind, Ozai stood. “You can clean the dishes,” he said it as if this was a privilege, not a chore. 

“Yes sir.”

Then Ozai left Zuko alone with his guilt, a too-full stomach, and thoughts about the home that had been so different from his own. 

~~~

“Mai! Can I talk to you?” Even though there was only a few minutes before the next class started, Mai paused to face Suki in the busy hall. No one paid them any mind, except to push past. “I’m sorry.” Mai’s face remained impassive and although Suki wasn’t a particularly rambly person, in the face of silence she found herself continuing. “I didn’t even mean what I said, I was just letting off a little steam. I never would of said it if I knew you could hear me--and I shouldn’t have said it in the first place, I was just--”

“I shouldn’t have insulted your singing,” Mai interrupted. “I’m sorry.”

“What? You don’t need to be apologizing, I was the one who--”

“It’s fine. I’ve said worse about Ty Lee and I love her.”

Suki tried to hide her surprise. “You and Ty Lee _are_ a couple?”

“What?” Mai’s facade was broken by surprise and something else, but quickly returned. “We’re just friends.”

“Right. Sorry for assuming, um, anyway, are we good?”

“Yeah, we’re ‘good.’”

Suki smiled. “I really like being your friend Mai.”

Mai frowned slightly, but when she said “I like being your friend too,” Suki was sure she must have imagined it. “I’ll see you at rehearsal.”

Suki shook the blush from her cheeks as she hurried into APUSH. She sat down next to Ty Lee who didn’t acknowledge her.

“Hey Ty Lee,” Suki said quietly. “I know you’re upset with me, and you have every right to be, but I want you to know I apologized to Mai and she accepted my apology. She understood that I didn’t mean what I was saying--not that that excuses it, but she’s not mad anymore.”

Ty Lee smiled. “I’m glad.” Then she paused. “But you won’t do that again, right?”

“What?”

“Talk about people behind their backs?”

“I mean it’s high school, I can’t promise I won’t gossip occasionally. But I won’t talk behind your back or Mai’s cause you’re my friends and I really will try not to say anything that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face.”  
  


Ty Lee grinned. “That was a very honest answer.”

Their conversation was cut off by the beginning of class, but when Ty Lee whispered to Suki about how dumb the Constitution was, Suki felt confident she was back in the girl’s good graces.

~~~

Mx. Mak didn’t even have to explain what to do, the teenagers simply dragged their chairs to join Mak’s in the space in front of the piano. It was the first rehearsal small enough to meet like this, but all the principal characters had known Mak long enough to know they liked sitting in circles as much as possible, so that everyone was equal.

Everyone but Azula brought their chairs down immediately (Sokka ignoring Toph’s protests and carrying her chair for her). Zuko sat next to Mx. Mak out of habit and was surprised by Aang’s slight frown when Toph took the other seat next to him, with Sokka on her other side. Aang’s smile recovered quickly, as he realized he was sitting between Sokka and Katara and began rambling to Katara, but Zuko felt a strange tingling in his chest at the thought that maybe Aang _cared_. Beside Katara, Suki sat next to Mai, who was next to Ty Lee. Suki began to talk to Mai, who looked as uninterested as ever, but Azula slammed her chair down in between. Suki seemed to contemplate commenting, but as Azula began to converse with Mai, Suki followed her lead by turning to converse with Katara.

Seeing everyone was settled, Mx. Mak got everyone’s attention and began. “Okay, you guys know the deal. I want to start by looking at objectives, what your characters want. I might ask questions after that, just to clarify, so we both know you’re getting into your character’s mind. Zuko, do you want to start?”

“Hades wants--”

“I’m going to ask everyone to answer in character, using _I_ statements.”

“Right. I want Persephone to love me.”

Mak nodded. “Do you care more about love or power?”  
  


“I care a lot about power--which is part of why Persephone and I can’t quite communicate--but I think Persephone’s love is what I want most.”

Mak smiled. “Amazing. Persephone, how about you?”

Toph pursed her lips. “I think what I really want is to be happy. I don’t feel connected to Hades anymore, so I’m using alcohol and distraction and whatever else I can to chase that feeling.”

Mak’s already wide smile expanded. “This is awesome! You guys are cutting right to the crux of the issues, I love it! Eurydice, what about you?”

“I think survival is my objective, which is why it’s so strange to let my love for Orpheus overtake that.”

Mak nodded thoughtfully. “What is your objective with Orpheus?”

“I guess a happy life? I love him and want to grow old with him.”

Mak nodded. “And Orpheus?”

“I think love--well, I guess my song is my main objective,” Aang explains thoughtfully, “I let Eurydice die so I guess the song came before my love for her. But why do I care so much about bringing spring back? What’s the point of spring without her?”

“Well, I don’t think it has to be one or the other,” Mak explained, “I think that you think bringing spring back will ensure that Eurydice is provided for. Orpheus is an optimist to a fault, he doesn’t realize the danger of winter. He thinks he can use the song to provide for Eurydice.”

“So, overall I am being driven by love, but it’s just using the song to provide for my love?”  
  
“That’s one interpretation, see how it works for you. Come back to me and we’ll talk more if it's not working.”

Aang nodded, and Mak turned their gaze to Ty Lee, Suki, and Mai. “Why do you think the Fates are telling this story?”

“Well,” Suki said, “it says we follow Eurydice. So I think we’re kind of like her guardian angels.”

“But we’re not all that nice to her.”

“We play multiple roles, but Suki’s right,” Ty Lee said, disagreeing with Mai, “we’re watching over Eurydice more than we’re trying to do anything bad.” Mai nodded.

Mak nodded. “And last, but certainly not least, Mr. Hermes?”

“I want Eurydice and Orpheus to be remembered, so that others can learn from them. The story’s important to me.”

“Okay, we’re just going to go through some other questions I think it’s important to know the answers to. Azula’s also going to hand out Uta Hagen’s Six Steps which I’ll give you the next week or so to answer. Orpheus, why do you turn around?”

“I love Eurydice so much, I want to see her again.”

Mak nodded. “That’s a lovely reason and totally a valid one, but it’s also a lot about the doubt too, don’t you think?”

“Oh, definitely!” Aang agreed, “He’s--I mean _I_ ’m--scared to lose her.”

Zuko rolled his eyes and Mak smiled. “Zuko, would you care to share why you think Orpheus turns?”

Blushing slightly, Zuko launched into his explanation. “He’s scared that he’s not enough, that he’s all alone. He turns because he can’t bear to go on not knowing if she’s there,” Then sheepishly added, “I think.”

“Both of you have valid interpretations, but Aang I’d like you to consider Zuko’s because I think it’ll help you more when we get into _Doubt Comes In_.”

“Yeah, sorry, I’ve only looked that song over a bit.”

“No worries, that’s what discussion is all about,” Mak turned their gaze back to Zuko, “You wanted to play Hades. What do you like about him?”

“The emotional complexity. He loves Persephone so much, but he knows better than to hope for her love. He focuses on Hadestown, but really all he cares about is her.” It was the same way he kept his grades up really, trying to please his father no matter what.

It was even a bit like how he felt for Sokka, but knew Sokka would never feel for him. How he’d focus on his homework rather than face that fact, just hoping someone would be proud of him.

_Idiot,_ he needed to listen. Mx. Mak was talking, “--Hades might not know, if that makes sense?” Zuko nodded, although he had no idea what Mak had been saying.

“Okay, the english major in me wants to talk about different interpretations all afternoon, but I know that could get a little boring. So why don’t we get on our feet?” 

~~~

Mak knew they were perceptive. It wasn’t a point of pride so much as it was simply a fact. Their eyes were brown, they were Black, and they were perceptive. Mak remembered wishing not to be so perceptive--in their childhood, Mak would often pick up on someone else’s mood before they even realized they were paying attention--but now it was just what made them a good teacher. 

So when it came to Aang and Katara, they knew they needed to lay some ground rules. Which is why they called the two leads into their office and left the other cast members under Azula’s supervision. “So, I know you two are friends. But I need to ask, are you anything more?”

Aang blushed and Katara laughed, so clearly their answers of “No,” came from different places. Katara didn’t even notice Aang’s slight embarrassment--it was so subtle--but Mak rarely missed a thing. 

“I have no reason to think that’ll change, but as I say to all my onstage couples, I ask that if any feelings develop you put the production first and, if possible, refrain from changing the nature of your relationship until after the show ends to prevent any awkwardness.”

Katara and Aang nodded vigorously. 

“Alright, unless you have any questions, you can send in Toph and Zuko so I can have the same conversation with them.”

Aang and Katara laughed at that and murmured thanks as they left, Katara pausing to give Mak a last smile before leaving. Mak tried not to have favorite students, but they were only human and they saw a lot of themselves in Katara. 

Speaking of favorites, Zuko slunk into the room. He always moved as if he wished he were invisible, sticking close to walls and curling on himself, but next to Toph, who strode confidently despite her short stature, he looked especially insecure. Mak was worried about Zuko (as always), but they kept their focus on the task at hand. “Hi guys. I wanted to talk to you about being a couple on stage. First, I have to ask, are you anything other than friends?”

Toph loudly pretended to throw up at the same time that Zuko wrinkled his nose and murmured “Gross,” answering the question quite clearly. 

“I didn’t think so, but it was worth checking. If for any reason that changes,” Zuko wrinkled his nose again and Toph declared “It won’t!” but Mak continued talking, “then I ask that you keep the production as the priority and if possible keep your relationship the same until after the show ends to prevent any awkwardness.”

“That won’t be a problem,” Zuko assured them.

“I gathered,” Mak chuckled, “But I gave the speech to Aang and Katara, I have to give it to you too.”

“So Aang doesn’t realize it’s just for him?” Toph asked astutely, revealing that Mak wasn’t the only one who had picked up on Aang’s crush.

Mak chuckled, but ignored the question. They’d discovered long ago that Toph never quite fell for their half-truths so it was better to not address questions they couldn’t truthfully answer. “Anyway, I have another thing I wanted to talk to you about. So, one of the things I’ve been noticing in rehearsals so far is that you too aren’t quite coming across as a married couple.”

“Why?” Toph broke in, “Cause Sparky’s too busy ogling Hermes?” Zuko reddened.

Not dignifying that with an answer (because it wasn’t exactly inaccurate) Mak continued on. “I wanted to ask you something, Toph, but it might be totally out of line.”

Toph shrugged. “Go for it, I’ll let you know if you hurt my fragile ego.”

“I was wondering if you’d be willing to fold up your cane for the scenes you share with Zuko? I thought having him ‘as your eyes,’ so to speak, would add a level of intimacy to your ‘marriage.’ But I don’t want you to feel any pressure, if that feels unsafe or uncomfortable or--”

“Chill, Mak, that sounds fine. I trust Zuko.” If Zuko had blushed when he had been teased about Sokka, he turned into an absolute tomato now. “I’ll still need to use it for “Livin’ It Up On Top” and “Way Down Hadestown” unless you want me to fall off the stage.”

“I definitely don’t want that. And if you change your mind at any point, just let me know, okay? No pressure.”

“Gosh, for a school that lets disabled kids in you guys really have no idea how to talk to us, do you? I’m not a fragile doll, okay? I’ll tell you if I’m uncomfortable.”

Mak remembered how Toph had purposely acted out in drama class the year before to get reprimanded in class. That had led to a long conversation where Toph had established she didn’t want to be treated any differently than the other students. Mak treated every student differently, but they tried to honor Toph’s request by not being overly gentle with Toph. “Sorry, you’re right, I’m babying you and you hate that.” (They didn’t actually think they were babying Toph in the slightest, but this half-truth at least Toph would appreciate). To lighten the mood, they added, “Zuko, make sure you push Toph right off the stage, okay?” Toph grinned, but Zuko seemed unsure about whether or not it was a joke. 

“I-I’m not, well, no offense, but I’m not really sure I’m comfortable--”

“Shut up, Sparky, you don’t get a choice in this.”

Mak considered. They wanted Zuko to acknowledge his emotions more--it was a big step that he even admitted to being uncomfortable with the idea--but they didn’t want to encourage him to indulge in his anxiety. “I think,” they settled on, “what Toph means to say, is that it’s valid to feel nervous, but Toph will help you. It’d be really helpful to the show if you’d step outside your comfort zone for this, but if you’re really not comfortable--”

“It’s fine.”

“Fine like ‘I’m Zuko and I’ll agree to anything’ or fine like ‘that’s actually fine?’” 

“It’s actually fine,” Zuko said, crossing his arms, but his tone lacked any real annoyance.

“Alright, I think that’s all I have for you two right now, but work on trying to look less like siblings on stage, okay? And Zuko?” Zuko met Mak’s eyes hesitantly, “Don’t be so afraid of Toph.” Zuko nodded quickly and practically fled the office. Mak sighed, everytime they felt like they were getting closer to the boy, he pulled away.

Suki, Mai, and Ty Lee filed in next. “Hey girls, I’m just talking to everyone about their dynamics. How’s it going out there with Azula?”

Suki crossed her arms, while Ty Lee and Mai said “Fine.”

“Suki, do you have something to add?”

“I just--I’m not trying to start drama cause I know we _just_ got over drama, but Azula was being so rude. Everytime I’d try to speak, she’d talk over me and ignore me.”

“It’s not worth paying attention to,” Mai said.

“Just ignore her,” Ty Lee agreed.

“But it was making you uncomfortable too, wasn’t it? If it was just my feelings hurt, maybe I’d let it go, but she was making things weird for everyone!”

Before Ty Lee could respond, Mak cut in. “Why don’t I bring in Azula when we’re done talking? Suki and I can talk to her about it.”

Suki shrugged noncommittally. “Okay, well the reason I wanted to talk to you girls is because I want you to be able to really move as one. The fates have been together for millenia, they know how each other thinks. If at all possible, I’d love for you to spend time together outside of rehearsal so that you can be as natural as possible on stage. I won’t ask about that because I know high school politics are complicated, but you three are very nice and I think you would enjoy spending time together and it would really improve your performance. Do you have any questions?”

The girls shook their heads. “Cool. Why don’t you stay in here a minute to talk about if you can get together and I’ll go get Azula and tell the others what to work on?”

~~~

While waiting to be called into Mak’s office, once Suki figured out Azula wasn’t going to listen to her, Suki had been rehearsing “Nothing Changes.” Now, as she tried to plan with Ty Lee and Mai, the lyrics she’d been working on memorizing continued to swirl around in her head.

_Why the struggle, why the strain? / Why make trouble, why make scenes?_

“So, when do y’all want to get together?” Suki asked. “My parents aren’t around much, so you can come over if you want.”

Ty Lee and Mai exchanged a glance.

_Why go against the grain, why swim upstream?_

“It’s not a good idea,” Mai said in her expressionless voice.

Ty Lee gave a small pout, “Sorry Suki.”

_It ain’t, it ain’t, ain’t no use / You’re bound, you’re bound, you’re bound to lose_

“What do you mean? We’re just hanging out, there’s nothing wrong with that--I thought we were friends.” Suki hated the way the word _friends_ caught in her voice, hated the way she cared so much about these girls.

“We are your friends,” Ty Lee reassured.

“But we just--” Mai said-- “we can’t.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, why not?”

“Just let it go, Suki.” Mai said, “We’re sorry, but we can’t.”

_What’s done, what’s done, what’s done is done / That’s the way the river runs_

“You _can’t_? What does that even mean?”

“Look,” Ty Lee said, her smile straining, “Azula is really protective of us. She doesn’t like when we hang out without her.”

Of course. It was Azula, coming between them. Again.

_So why get wet? / Why break a sweat? / Why waste your precious breath? / Why beat your handsome brow?_

“And you’re not going to stand up to her? Tell her that you’re your own people and can hang out with whoever you want?”

Mai and Ty Lee shook their heads. “It wouldn’t work out,” Mai said.

“We really are sorry,” Ty Lee said.

Then they left, as the last lyrics of the song echoed in Suki’s mind.

_Nothing changes, / Nothing changes, / Nothing changes / Anyhow_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You said "don't have Ozai take the pie" so I didn't, but personally I think this was worse. You're welcome. (Also to whatever commenter I told there wouldn't be as much Ozai this chapter, that was true at the time but then he just showed up and I couldn't stop him)
> 
> Suki making up with Ty Lee and Mai was like yes queens!! But now she's seeing some of the unhealthy relationship they're in with Azula, wonder what will happen next on that front... (and if you know the musical and what happens after the song Suki is referencing, I wonder what that could foreshadow, hmmmm)
> 
> I hope you guys liked the varying povs in this chapter. Zuko is easier to write than anyone else, but I did like writing Mak's they're so fun.
> 
> Next chapter might be a Mini Chapter since it was originally part of this one (or it might get added onto the original chapter six or i'll write extra scenes and make a monster, who knows) but guaranteed to include: more disordered eating courtesy of everyone's least favorite father, Suki and Azula talking, and some Kataraang! Also, I'm hoping to have it up within the week, but at the very least I promise it won't take a month to post :)
> 
> Please excuse any mistakes or typos as always, but especially for this chapter cause I've been working on it for six hours now (plus many many hours in the last month) and honestly I just want to get it out
> 
> Rumor has it that if you comment on this fanfic, you are more likely to find a four leaf clover next time you're in a grassy field. Don't know until you try it, right?


	6. sokka wants to cuddle and zuko's theatre kid pops out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula and Suki come to an agreement, Zuko lies to Ozai, the gaang discuss their Hadestown characters at a diner, and "All I've Ever Known" is used to parallel both Zukka and Kataraang. Lots of lyric parallels, cute ship moments, and Hadestown discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I *almost* got this up within a week. Time is a construct and I tried my best.
> 
> Okay there's moments where both Sokka and Katara are going to be idiots and I'd like you to remember being in love. If you don't believe that idiocy is a realistic symptom of young love, I can tell you some stories. But don't worry, they'll figure it out eventually.
> 
> CW: Only one Ozai scene, but there's hints of restricted eating there so if disordered eating is tw please be cautious!
> 
> Please enjoy and have a great day xoxo

Azula perched herself on Mak’s worn yellow couch--its cushions softened by too many breakdowns and its color diluted by many actors’ coffee spills--and Suki settled on the opposite end. The two girls were across from Mak, who sat in a rolling chair. Azula schooled her face as best she could to look confused and concerned, although the only emotions she actually felt were annoyance--at Suki for existing and at Mak for inconveniencing her. “What’s going on?”

“Suki told me you were ignoring her during the rehearsal, is that true?”

“What is this preschool?” She snapped before she took a deep breath. She looked at Suki, feigning innocence. “If you had a problem with my behavior, you should’ve told me.”

“I think I could say the same to you,” Suki said frustratedly. “I assume you’re upset with me for what happened between Mai and I? Even though I apologized and she accepted my apology!”

“I just don’t see any reason to trust your word,” Azula said, frowning slightly as if confused. This was too easy, she could see Mx. Mak falling for her act hook, line, and sinker. “You’ve already proved you can be nice to someone’s face and then say something totally different behind their backs.”

As she had hoped, Suki looked angry--she knew better than to fall for her act--but Azula turned to Mak, voice sickly sweet. “I value honesty. I know ignoring Suki in rehearsal is unprofessional, but I’m living my truth. It would be inauthentic of me to pretend to forgive her when I don’t trust a thing she says.”

“You don’t need to forgive me,” Suki pointed out, “since I never apologized to _you_ and I certainly don’t plan on it. You just need to do your job in rehearsal so I can do mine.”

Again her facade slipped and she let out a hint of her real anger when she exclaimed, “Fine!”  
  


“Fine!”

Mak regarded them for a moment, then with a sigh they said, “If you’d like to resolve this further, I’d be happy to serve as a mediator. Otherwise, you girls are all set.”

Azula rose--and so did Suki--but Mak stopped her, “Actually, Azula, can I give you a piece of advice?” Suki gave her a final glare before exiting and closing the door behind her.

Trying to keep the smile plastered on her face, she asked, “Can I stop you?”

Taking this as a yes, although they were aware it wasn’t meant as one, Mak spoke. “Maybe the reason you’re so threatened by Suki is because she reminds you of yourself. I think if you gave her a chance, as Ty Lee and Mai seem to have done, you might find you’d get along surprisingly well.”

Azula’s smile became more of a grimace. “I’ll think about it.”

~~~

It was that point in the rehearsal season where the songs are constantly stuck in your head. It was better for Zuko than most--at least he _knew_ all the words--but even he was getting sick of singing them. Especially at home, where he couldn’t dare even hum to himself. Tonight he had “When the Chips are Down” and “Gone, I’m Gone” repeating in his head. Everytime he closed his eyes, he could see Eurydice succumbing to starvation as the Fates circled her.

Ozai was in a peculiar mood--calm but on the edge of something else (something angrier). But when Azula announced her student of the quarter awards he insisted on a celebratory family dinner. The chef had prepared a lovely meal: rice, miso soup, and grilled fish. Zuko hadn’t had dinner the night before--he didn’t know why, only that Azula got called to dinner and he hadn’t--and his lunch period was early in the day, so he was starving. 

_And the first shall be first / And the last shall be last_

Zuko sat in front of his plate, breathing in the smell, waiting for his father to begin. Ozai waited until their private chef had left the kitchen, before turning his gaze on Zuko. “Azula got student of the quarter awards in pre-calculus and AP U.S. history. What about you?”

_Cast your eyes to heaven / You get a knife in the back_

“I got one in chorus class.”

_Nobody’s righteous / Nobody’s proud / Nobody’s innocent / Now that the chips are down_

“Is that all?” Ozai’s hand reached for Zuko’s plate.

_It’s my gut I can’t ignore / Orpheus, I’m hungry / Oh, my heart aches to stay / But the flesh will have its way_

“No--”

_Oh, the way is dark and long / I’m already gone_

“I--um--received one in--in history--for government class.” He kept his hands firmly out of sight so that Ozai couldn’t see him fidgeting. 

Ozai’s hand withdrew, but he only nodded--in recognition, not approval.

_You can have your principles / When you’ve got a belly full_

Zuko tried not to eat too fast, but even so he practically inhaled his miso soup and rice. He ate the fish slower, knowing his father didn’t appreciate when he finished long before him and Azula. Azula and Ozai talked, but they made no effort to include him in the conversation except for an occasional insult.

_But hunger has a way with you / There’s no telling what you’re gonna do_

Zuko cleared the table with an aching stomach. He wasn’t sure if it was a result of eating so fast after eating so little, simply his guilt for lying, or fear for the retribution that would come instead of the award he never won. 

~~~

After rehearsal one night, Sokka and Suki insisted on driving the group to the diner. Zuko convinced Azula into going out with Mai and Ty Lee so they could both arrive home around seven.

Once they were settled into the booth Zuko was starting to consider theirs, Aang asked, “Who’s everyone’s favorite characters?”

“Obviously Persephone,” Toph said, “She’s a literal queen. If I wasn’t so damn aroace, I’d be gay for her.”

“Yeah, I agree,” Suki added, “she’s so powerful, but you can tell she just wants to protect everyone and doesn’t know how.” Toph nodded in agreement. “And obviously I am gay for her. I mean Amber Gray’s voice? Gorgeous.”

“I think Eurydice is my favorite. She’s so strong and she’s scared to be vulnerable at first, but once she is, she loves so deeply.”

“Of course Katara’s favorite is her own character. Unlike my sister, _I’m_ not self-absorbed, I like Hades. He’s so dark and brooding.” Zuko shook his head on instinct.

Suki whispered something into Toph’s ear, that sounded to Zuko like, “And he still thinks he’s straight.” Sokka (despite the fact he was across from Zuko) didn’t seem to hear it, instead he raised his eyebrows at Zuko.

“What?”

“It’s just--Hades is the most unsure out of everyone. He’s built all these walls to protect him, but he’s lonely. He doesn’t know what to do.”

“He wants to be vulnerable with Persephone,” Aang agreed through a mouthful of fries, “But he’s scared of losing his power. At the end of the play we see that he might give love a chance, that there’s hope.”

“So, Hades is your favorite too, Aang?” Suki asked.

Aang shook his head. “How could Orpheus not be my favorite? He’s trying to save everyone, but he’s so busy helping others he loses what’s most important to him.”

Sokka leaned into the table. “Not to let my english nerd out, but what do you think the show is trying to teach us?” Katara rolled her eyes, but Aang launched into his answer.

“That even sad stories have value, that you have to try and try again. That love is everything, that love can save the world.”

Toph nodded. “And that sometimes people act certain ways because they’re scared of vulnerability.”

“But no matter how many times you fail,” Suki agreed, “you have to keep trying because others will learn from you.”

Sokka and Katara both nodded. “What?” Zuko exclaimed, “Is that really what you think it’s about?” Everyone nodded, curiously waiting for Zuko’s alternate interpretation.

“It’s about how nothing changes, not because we’re incapable of changing, but because we doubt ourselves and cause our own tragedy.”

“Well, Sparky’s feeling optimistic today.” 

Zuko crossed his arms. “Orpheus loses Eurydice cause he turns around and Hades lost Persephone cause she didn’t understand him--”

“Ummm, no.” Toph interrupted. “Hades is the one who chooses not to communicate with Persephone.”

“What’s he supposed to say? ‘I don’t like that you have to leave me because I’m scared you’ll realize there’s better gods up there?’”

“Sure, sounds great! At least it starts a _discussion._ ”

“But Persephone can’t do anything. Even if she reassures Hades and he believes her, as soon as spring comes she has to leave again. No matter what, she always leaves.”

“No matter what, she always comes back. Didn’t think about it that way, did you Mr. Dark Cloud?”

“Okay, Toph, you’re not _actually_ Persephone, you do know that, right?” Sokka interjected.

Ignoring Sokka, Zuko responded. “She comes back because she has to. She’s so busy dreaming about springtime and the real world that she doesn’t even notice how much Hades is hurting, even when he tells her that everything he’s doing is for her.”

“Just cause you’re playing Hades doesn’t mean you can only see things from his point of view,” Toph shot back.

  
“Okay, maybe cool it down a bit,” Katara tried, but Zuko continued.

“Okay, so what’s Perspehone’s point of view? She gets to have a man devoted to her and springtime and that’s still not enough?”

Toph rolled her eyes. “She’s _trapped_ , she has no authority in her own life. She goes from the Underworld--where her husband is so preoccupied with his work he won’t have a real conversation with her--to the real world where everyone is depending on her to feed them and provide for them before winter returns again.”

“Hades has no control in his life either, he’s bound to work in the Underworld his whole life. But unlike Persephone, he doesn’t have anyone else who values his hard work, he’s hated by everyone. He’s trying to protect his kingdom and he’s so scared of losing everything and he’s trying to provide for Persephone because he loves her. But it’s not enough.”

“ _Guys_ ,” Katara broke in again. “I’m sure Mak would appreciate this, but could we maybe not fight over our characters?”

Toph and Zuko both looked like they were going to continue arguing, until Sokka interrupted. “I think you’re scaring Aang,” Aang turned his slightly uncomfortable face into a deep, pouting frown and pulled his legs up into a ball to prove Sokka’s point.

“Even I’m not that gullible, Aang,” Zuko said. Aang laughed. “But fine, I guess we can agree to disagree.”

“That’s ridiculous when I’m clearly right, but fine.”

Zuko opened his mouth to argue, so Aang leapt into a new conversation topic, “Zuko, have you ever heard the story of how Katara and I met?” Zuko shook his head and Aang’s pout transformed into a smile of impossible size. “Okay, so my freshman year, I’m new here. I grew up in the Foster System so I bounced around from home to home until Gyatso.”

“Gyatso?”

“Oh, that’s my dad. He was my foster dad, starting freshman year actually, but he officially adopted me this year. Anyway, I’d been to a bunch of new schools and the best way to make friends is pranks, right?” Zuko nodded because he couldn’t bear to disappoint Aang, but he could think of 101 things he thought were better. 

“So Aang has the _brilliant_ idea to hide in one of the walk-in freezers in the science wing!”

“Let me tell it, Katara! So, _I_ thought the best place to pop up out of nowhere was from the freezer, but little did I know that they don’t open from the inside! So, I’m stuck in this freezer with freaking dead frogs and other gross stuff like that and it’s _so cold_ and I start freaking out because I don’t want to scream and have everyone hear me. That’s how you get a reputation and I did not want to be ‘freezer kid,’ so I was just kind of knocking and somehow Katara heard me before I froze to death.” 

“I told you, I didn’t hear you knocking, I just needed to go in there anyway and you’re lucky I did because otherwise--”

“Yeah, yeah he could’ve frozen to death, we’ve heard this lecture a million times,” Sokka rolled his eyes.

“That’s definitely a memorable meeting,” Zuko said with an awkward chuckle. “Um, sorry, but Sokka, could you drive me home? It’s almost seven.”

“Oh yeah, no problem. I’ll come back for these weirdos.” 

Zuko didn’t mind the attention as much as he thought he would as he and Sokka were heckled out of the restaurant with the gaang’s variations of everything from “See you later!” to “Don’t spend too much time making out in the car!” 

~~~

Zuko and Sokka were sitting in the back row while Katara and Aang rehearsed--each waiting for their respective sibling before they could head home--and while Zuko knew he needed to focus on on the unit exam coming up in calculus, it was so much more fun to tease Sokka about Aang’s obvious crush on his sister. 

Zuko was used to sitting in rehearsals--usually in Azula’s position up front, taking notes--but never before had he felt so at ease.

Katara was singing acapella as Mak taught her choreography and Zuko smiled at the familiar words. _“I was alone so long / I didn't even know that I was lonely / Out in the cold so long / I didn't even know that I was cold / Turned my collar to the wind / This is how it's always been / All I've ever known is how to hold my own.”_ While he felt most connected to Hades, he related to Eurydice’s intentional distance from the world. As soon as she let down her walls she fell for Orpheus, just as he found himself--just like Zuko _wasn’t_ because having friends didn’t mean being an idiot. He knew how Eurydice’s story ended and even if he _wanted_ to feel a certain way for Sokka, he wouldn’t let himself. Even if that kind of behavior was acceptable, Sokka would never feel the same way about him. So he wouldn’t be an idiot and try to make a perfectly normal friendship into anything more than that.

“That was great Katara, but let’s try it one more time to make sure you’ve got it. Remember to start on your left foot,” Mak instructed.

~~~

Katara liked dancing, especially with Mx. Mak. Their instruction was patient and clear. It was easy to think about her lyrics as she practiced. As she sang about being alone and not knowing she was lonely, she moved towards Aang and a part of her wondered if she wasn’t always moving towards Aang. Had she known how to do anything more than hold her own before she met Aang? He had been the first one to remind her to be a kid again, to a laugh a little bit. She loved him for it.

_“All I’ve ever known is how to hold my own / But now I wanna hold you, too / You take me in your arms / And suddenly there’s sunlight all around me,”_ as she followed Mak’s directions into Aang’s arms she wondered if her own feelings were a little _too_ similar to Eurydice’s. She’d always thought of Aang as a little goofball, a younger brother, but he really was like sunlight and _“Everything bright and warm.”_

And ever since he shaved his head, when he moved in with Monk Gyatso, she found herself looking at him differently. 

But that was crazy. This was _Aang_. Aang who ate grass on a dare and then cried because he didn’t like it. Aang who taught her how to be more than a caretaker and to have fun, Aang who wore a beanie with a blue arrow on it and drew arrows on his arms and legs everyday, saying he’d get real tattoos someday. 

_“And for a moment I forget / Just how dark and cold it gets,”_ she knew it had to be in her head--some muddling of her acting and her real feelings--but wasn’t it true? Aang could always cheer her up, no matter what, but that’s just how he was. It didn’t mean she had _feelings_ for him. He was her friend--her best friend--and she wouldn’t let any musical confuse that for her.

~~~

Ignoring the fact that his sister and one of his closest friends were making goo-goo eyes at each other (and doing it upsettingly well), Sokka let himself take in Zuko’s profile as he worked on the review sheet for the test they had later in the week. Katara’s voice filled the room, _“All I’ve ever known is how to hold my own / All I’ve ever known is how to hold my own.”_ Sokka wasn’t much for getting angsty over musical theatre--especially when it was lyrics sung by his sister--but staring at his friend and hearing those words stirred something in him. He’d always been focused on protecting his family--real and found-- _”But now I wanna hold you / Now I wanna hold you, hold you close / I don’t wanna ever have to let you go / Now I wanna hold you, hold you tight / I don’t wanna go back to the lonely life.”_ He’d never wanted to cuddle with one of his friends so intensely. He liked the occasional cuddle sesh with Aang or Toph (although Toph tended to just elbow him), but there was something about Zuko that made him want to wrap him up and protect him. It was probably the scar. It was badass, but it was still the remnants of pain. Whatever had happened, he didn’t want to let his friend get hurt again. He just wanted to wrap him up in a burrito of blankets, to kiss him, to make him tea, to--wait _kiss him?_

He was surprised by his own thought, but he did, he wanted to kiss Zuko. He was all about normalizing platonic affection, so he must be trying to do that for Zuko.

Just like he wanted to hold him close, just as bros.

~~~

Aang had fallen in love with Katara the day he’d met her. He’d known right away she was pretty, but then he quickly discovered she was the _kindest_ , most intelligent, loveliest girl he’d ever encountered. Everyday he spent with her he fell more in love and he knew he wasn’t good at hiding it, from the blush on his cheeks to the laughter of his friends. But Katara never acknowledged it. She wanted to save him the embarrassment. He appreciated it--he was just grateful to be her friend. 

But playing Orpheus, and holding her close at Mak’s instruction, certainly was a new flavor of yearning. _“I don’t know how or why,”_ he sang, _“Or who am I that I should get to hold you / But when I saw you all alone against the sky / It’s like I’d known you all along / I knew you before we met / And I don’t even know you yet / All I know is you’re someone I have always known,”_ and even though they’re lines in a song, the words couldn’t have been more true if he had came up with them himself. He could still remember the moment he met Katara--when she’d found him stuck in a walk-in freezer thanks to a prank gone wrong--and how the LED lighting of the freezer had made her look like a goddess. From that moment he had known he wanted to be with her forever and that hadn’t wavered one bit in their two years of friendship.

~~~

Zuko smirked as Katara and Aang sang in unison, _“All I know is you’re someone I have always known / And I don’t even know you / Now I wanna hold you, hold you close / I don’t wanna ever have to let you go.”_

“I’m not saying he’s not a good actor,” Zuko whispered, “But you really want to tell me Aang could look at _anyone_ that convincingly?”

_“Suddenly the sunlight / Bright and warm,”_ Katara sang as Sokka spluttered.

“That’s my _sister_ ,” Sokka hissed back. 

_“Suddenly I’m holding the world in my arms,”_ Aang sang.

“And your friend’s in love with her.”

_“Say that you’ll hold me forever,”_ Katara sang.

“Suki put you up to this, didn’t she!”

_“Say that the wind won’t change on us.”_

“Even if she did, she’s not wrong.”

_“Say that we’ll stay with each other.”_

“Aang’s pan, if he could like literally _anyone_ why would he choose my sister?”

_“And it will always be like this.”_

“I don’t think it’s something you choose.”

_“I’m gonna hold you forever,”_ Aang sang.

“You know what I mean--he has options. Options other than my sister!”

_“The wind will never change on us.”_

“Hey, at least you know he’s a good kid. He’ll treat her right.”

_“Long as we stay with each other.”_

“Shut up right now or I swear I will kill you.” Usually a threat like that would make Zuko’s blood run cold, but he just laughed.

Katara and Aang sang the last line of the song together, _“Then it will always be like this.”_

Zuko knew it was naive, but he found himself wishing that it would always be like this, just Sokka and him whispering in the back of a rehearsal. But all too soon he found himself packing up to go home for another night of studying under Ozai’s watchful glare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That diner scene was really english brain go brrr analyzing musical. (But like!! Zuko analyzing it differently cause he's depressed!! don't you just want to go feral??) 
> 
> I was really struggling with the Kataraang so I made it easier to write by breaking it up with some more Zukka. Sorry to the Kataraang shippers that you didn't get more content, but I thought it ended up pretty cute so I hope you did too. I also actually liked the "Gone I'm Gone" and "When the Chips are Down" scene so the fact that this chapter had two scenes I was okay with is like an accomplishment. Self-confidence? In this chili's? It's more likely than you think? (That was way too many memes at once but we're gonna ignore that).
> 
> Anyway I know I always say this, but the next chapter is actually really prepped (cause it was mostly included in this and then I realized that it didn't make sense structurally) so I really will be posting Soon. And then we have Chapter Eight (or Nine depending) which is Unnecessary Angst and I'm very excited. 
> 
> Next update is going to include a math test, at least one cute (and somewhat ~vulnerable~) zukka moment, and Katara being a good friend
> 
> Leave a comment and I'll talk to the sock monster about returning some of the socks your dryer has eaten.


	7. zuko takes a math test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka says I love you this chapter (not clickbait!! But also probably not the context you’re hoping for). Sokka and Katara also do their best to support a very anxious Zuko and the math test doesn’t go well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: mentioned/referenced throw up (nothing graphic) and not eating/disordered eating 
> 
> Surprise! Two chapters in 24 hours just for fun!! It’s short though and you probably won’t appreciate the cliffhanger. There’s some cuteness before we hit the angst though :) 
> 
> Please enjoy and have a spectacular day xoxo

The day before the math test, Zuko was called to rehearsal with Katara for ‘Hey Little Songbird.’ The director asked if he was sure he was feeling alright and he said he was just tired. 

Even Azula seemed sympathetic, if only in her own way. “You look terrible, Zuzu. What’d you eat today, a frog?”

“I haven’t eaten,” Zuko snapped, and Katara looked at him in surprise. 

“Zuko! You have to eat!”

“I’m not hungry—“

“You have to eat! Here, take some pretzels.” 

“I’m really not,” Zuko’s voice wavered as he faced Katara’s glare “that hungry.”

“Eat.”

Zuko did what he was told. But the tapping of Azula’s keyboard mixed with the swimming numbers on the paper in front of him made him remember why he hadn’t been eating. 

When Mx. Mak said it was time for rehearsal to start, Zuko darted from the room. 

Sokka, who had been talking with Suki in the hallway, saw his friend run into the bathroom and then saw Katara’s head peek out from the music room. “Did you see Zuko?” She asked. 

“Yeah, he ran into the bathroom. Is he—?” Katara shrugged. “I’ll check on him.”

By the time Sokka entered, Zuko had already emptied his stomach into the toilet and was standing over the sink. “Zuko?”

The other boy gripped the sink so tight his knuckles went white. Slowly he responded, not raising his eyes from the faucet. “Hi Sokka.”

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine. I mean, I threw up, but it’s no big deal. I haven’t eaten much today anyway. It’s fine, I should go back to rehearsal.”

“You should go  _ home _ !”

“I’m fine.” Zuko pushed past Sokka and reentered the music room. “Hi, sorry about that. I’m ready now.” Of course, Sokka was right behind him with his arms crossed. 

“No he’s not. Zuko threw up and should go home.”

“Zuko!” Mak exclaimed, “Come here, are you alright?”

Drawing closer so they could talk privately, Zuko said, “I’m fine, Sokka’s making it a bigger deal than it has to be.”

“There’s a nasty stomach bug going around,” Mak said worriedly.

“Oh, no, you don’t need to worry. It’s just stress.” Instead of reassuring them, this statement seemed to distress Mak further.

“What’s making you so stressed that you’re throwing up?”   
  


“Nothing, nothing. I’m fine, really, can’t we just--”

“ _ Zuko _ ,” they said emphatically, but kindly.

“I have a math test, okay? It’s not a big--”

“You’re going home to rest and maybe study if you’re up for it. Promise me you’ll take care of yourself. And don’t let yourself get to the point of throwing up from stress, okay?”

“I’ll--I’ll try my best.”

“I’ll take it. Let me know if I can do anything, okay.” Zuko nodded. “I care about you, kiddo.”

Zuko reddened and hurried away from the piano to avoid answering. 

“Alright, rehearsal’s cancelled for today. Everyone can go home and rest.”

Zuko glared at Sokka as Katara and Azula packed up their bags. “I was fine. You didn’t need to do that.”

“What? Obviously you’re not fine! You’re sick!”

“I’m not sick! I just throw up sometimes when I’m stressed, it’s not a big deal!”

“What are you so stressed about?”

“Nothing, I’m  _ fine _ .”

“Calculus,” Azula told Sokka with a smirk. “So, are you going to comfort him or am I supposed to risk getting vomit in my car?”

“Zuko, if you’re stressed about math, we can study more. I’ll help you chill out.”

Zuko turned to his sister. “Please don’t go home. You know I can’t lie to dad if he asks why you came home and I didn’t.”

Azula rolled her eyes. “Fine. Go have your little study session and I’ll pick you up at 5:30.” She made eye contact with Sokka “Just text me where you are.” 

As she left she turned back. “I’m only doing this cause I wanted to go to the mall with the girls. I’m not doing this for you, dum dum.”

Zuko smiled because  _ Azula always lies. _

~~~

Zuko couldn’t believe he was back at Sokka’s house, but after reassuring a very apologetic Katara (“I didn’t mean to make you sick!”), they settled at the kitchen table with a plate of saltines (that Zuko was eating hesitantly). 

“I’ve done the review sheet five times, but I still—“

“Zuko, breathe.” Sokka demonstrated, but instead of joining in Zuko rolled his eyes. “This isn’t about the math. You need to breathe.”

Ignoring Sokka’s deep breath, Zuko exhaled “If I don’t get a 96–“

“Zuko, you need to breathe.”

“What good is breathing if I fail this test!” 

“If you don’t breathe, you’ll die. You can’t pass if you’re dead.”

“I can’t fail either,” Zuko murmured. 

“Look. I won’t review math with you until you calm down.”

“How am I supposed to calm down?”

“Look, I know grades are important in your family. But if you do badly, you can move in here. You’ll probably hate listening to everyone yelling all the time, but you can live here and be in Hadestown. Cause I love you for you, not for your grades.”

Zuko wasn’t sure what Sokka had just said because it definitely wasn’t what he had heard. “You  _ what _ ?”

Trying not to look like he was dying Sokka said, “You’re my friend. I love my friends.”

Sokka loved him. Not  _ love _ -love, but love all the same. He didn’t know how to respond to that. “Oh. Right. Thanks?”

“Just thanks? You don’t love me too,” Sokka asked teasingly.

Zuko reddened. “I--it’s just that in Japanese saying I love you is very special, it’s not like in English.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s just very intimate and I know it’s different in English, but just--culturally, we don’t say it as much. My mom only said it a few times.” Uncle said he loved Zuko--in Japanese and in English--but that was just Uncle being Uncle. Most people didn’t say it so easily, it was a big deal.

“And your dad?”

Zuko felt a pang in his chest, but tried not to react outwardly. Sokka was just curious. “He--he shows it in different ways.”

“Your dad has never said he loves you?”

“He doesn’t have to.” Because he loved Zuko, even if he’d never said it. He was hard on Zuko  _ because _ he loved Zuko. It was the only logical explanation. It didn’t matter anyway because that wasn’t the topic. “It’s not a word I feel comfortable just throwing around. I care about you, but—“

Sokka smiled, “it’s okay, I get it. If your dad doesn’t say he loves you after 17 years it makes sense you wouldn’t say it to someone you’ve only been friends with for a few weeks. But it doesn’t change the way I feel, I still care about you, okay?”

“I appreciate that--I do--but how does that help me with this test? I can’t  _ actually _ move in here if I fail.”

“Yes you can, I’ll sneak you into my room. Bato and Dad will never notice.” Sokka smiled, but Zuko glared at him. Sokka thought this was a joke, but it wasn’t. Not at all. “But in the meantime, why don’t we practice some more so you don’t feel so scared? You’re actually really good at this stuff, you just gotta breathe man.”

“Okay. Fine, I’ll  _ breathe _ with you.” It was ridiculous, but if that’s all Sokka could offer, he’d try it. He’d do anything for Sokka. 

Sokka smiled and inhaled, counting his fingers up to four. “Then hold,” he said, counting to seven on his hands. “And exhale,” he said, demonstrating, and counting to eight. He made Zuko repeat it with him two more times. “Okay, how do you feel?”

Zuko wanted to say something snarky, but oddly he felt like his heart rate had actually slowed. “Better, actually.”

“That’s scientifically proven to calm you down, remember that for next time you freak out, okay? Inhale for four, hold for seven, and exhale for eight.” Zuko nodded.

Satisfied that he’d calmed down, Sokka flipped to a part of the textbook that Zuko hadn’t realized he could take as a test. They set a timer and got to work. Every time he got nervous, Zuko glanced at Sokka’s side profile. He noticed the way Sokka never quite sat still, running his tongue over his teeth, fidgeting with his eraser, or glancing around the room (sometimes all at once), but still managed to focus on jotting down numbers and seemed to be doing calculations in his head, if his untouched calculator was any indication. Sometimes he would get distracted by the glint in Sokka’s brown eyes--of all colors, Zuko had never been particularly interested in brown. When he looked at Sokka, though, he had a new favorite color. Wrenching his eyes away from Sokka’s face didn’t work either, because his toned biceps and ponytail with one strand hanging loose were equally distracting. But the distraction was calming, so he could force himself back to the math problem with a clearer head.

Both boys finished their practice exams before the timer went off (Zuko jumped at the timer, slamming his legs into the table, but Sokka graciously didn’t mention it). They switched papers and Sokka flipped the textbook to the answer key. Zuko marked down Sokka’s minor errors in red, while Sokka found Zuko’s small mistake and circled it with his blue pen. Zuko wrote a 90 (writing a little smiley face in the zero) at the top of Sokka’s page, while Sokka wrote 96 with what Zuko estimated to be about fifteen exclamation points too many.

He was not encouraged. “If I’m only getting a 96 on a practice, when I’m calm, then how—“

“Zuko! Would you look at my paper for a second?”

Zuko looked skeptically at the 90 he had written on Sokka’s paper, regretting the smiley face. “You got stuff wrong on purpose. To try to make me feel better.”

“No, I made mistakes like a human. And look,” he gestured at himself dramatically “I’m still alive.”

“It’s not the same.”  _ It’s a practice, not to mention the fact that our dads seem to have very different expectations. _

“Zuko, you know all the information. What else are you supposed to do?”

“Get every answer right!”

“Ugh,” Sokka got up and went onto the hallway to yell “KATARA WILL YOU COME DOWN HERE?”

Zuko looked even more grumpy, which Sokka hadn’t thought possible. “This isn’t anxiety about the test.”

“Then what’s it about?”

Katara’s arrival stopped Zuko from having to admit  _ What happens after the test. _

“What do you want, Sokka?”

“Zuko’s really nervous for his test tomorrow and he’s convinced he has to do perfectly.”

“Oof. Why do you think that, Zuko?”

Zuko turned his glare on Katara. “Because I do. My father expects the best from his children.”

“Well the only way you’re gonna do your best is if you chill out. You’re not going to be able to focus tomorrow if you don’t.”

“Okay, great,” Zuko said sarcastically, “How do you relax when your father’s going to kick you out if you don’t get a perfect score on an impossible math test?”

Katara met Zuko’s glare with her own. “Look, Sokka might be too goo-goo eyed to talk back to you, but I’m not gonna help you if you talk to me like that.”

Zuko looked away, feeling guilty for snapping at one of his only friends. “Sorry, I’m just--” He didn’t do this, he didn’t talk about his feelings. That was something his father would call him a--call him names for. But if Katara wanted him to talk, he would try. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to calm down.”

“Zuko, you know you’re our friend, right? We’re not going to let your dad kick you out and if he tries to, we’ll beat him up.” Zuko didn’t really like the joke (the image of his friends anywhere near his dad made him uncomfortable), but he appreciated the sentiment. “Plus, you have the worst self-esteem of anyone I know. You being bad at math is probably the same as someone else doing well.”

“As your tutor, I can confirm that. And you know I’m not lying cause I’d never willingly agree with Katara if I didn’t have to.”

“Thanks Katara. That actually helped a bit.” He was still nauseous and certain he was going to fail, but maybe he could breathe a little bit.

“Don’t sound so surprised, I’m not the mom friend for nothing.”

He let Katara and Sokka coach him through some more relaxation strategies before Azula showed up to pick him up. At Sokka’s advice, he kept himself busy--Agni knew he had enough work to keep busy for years--without looking at math. He’d already overprepared, looking over his notes any longer would make him panic more. But right before bed he reviewed the sheet Sokka had made of key formulas and concepts, all in different colors with little diagrams to illustrate ideas. Not only was it helpful (and he did picture it the whole time he was falling asleep), but the fact that Sokka put so much time in for him made him feel warm inside.

~~~

The teacher wished them luck one last time and then handed out the tests. Zuko caught Sokka giving him a smile from the front of the room before he turned his attention to the test. He wrote his name with shaking fingers and read the first problem with increasing panic. 

Zuko knew how to do this. He knew he did and so did Sokka. But no matter how hard he tried to believe that he could do it, it didn’t change the fact that the problem made no sense. He tried to stay calm and move onto the next one, but all he could hear was Ozai’s voice, reminding him what a failure he was.

. . .

“I’m sorry, Zuko, but that was the second bell. I have another class.”

  
Zuko looked up from the scribbled mess on his paper--covered in as many tears as eraser shavings--and held in a complaint as he handed it over. He shoved his pencil case into his backpack and fled. He pushed past someone in the hallway as he dashed to the bathroom. 

  
Locked in a stall, he waited to begin retching, but it seemed his stomach was too empty to even bother.

“Zuko?”

Suddenly Zuko registered that his name had trailed him through the hallway and into the restroom. “Go away, Sokka.”

“Are you okay?”   
  


“Don’t you have class?”

“I don’t care about class. I care about making sure you’re okay.”

“I’m great. Go to class.”

  
“I don’t believe you.”

Anger overtook his despair—which honestly felt better anyway. He swung the stall open. “What do you want to hear? Do you want to hear that you’re right and I freaked out? That I fucked up the whole fucking test and now I’m going to lose my one chance at performing in a musical? That my dad’s going to fucking kill me? Is that what you want me to say Sokka?”

Sokka looked hurt, but he swallowed. “Dude, breathe. Why don’t we go down to the guidance office and talk to one of the counselors—“

“I have to go to class,” Zuko tried to push past Sokka, but Sokka grabbed onto his arm. 

“Zuko—“

“I didn’t ask for your help. Just leave me alone.” He yanked his arm out of Sokka’s grasp.

As Zuko returned to class, he tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly just posted this early cause I’m sad so if I’m hoping for a few comments cause y’all somehow not hating this always boosts my mood. 
> 
> Also I have at least most (if not all) of chapter eight written so it’ll be up soon. Just gotta decide how I’m cutting it up cause originally this chapter was going to be longer but I couldn’t resist the urge to leave you on zukka fight cliffhanger 
> 
> I know I haven’t responded to a bunch of comments but I read and treasure every single one and I WILL respond in one to a thousand business days, thank you for your patience. 
> 
> Rumor has it if you leave a comment that babies are more likely to smile at you (*insert joke about me being a baby and how I would smile at you here*)


	8. zuko apologizes and azula goes out with the gaang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko apologizes, Ozai is Ozai, and the Zuko sits on Sokka's lap on the way to the diner (because Azula insisted on coming with) causing Sokka to have some Thoughts about his sexuality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Brief Ozai being an asshole, bit of disordered eating 
> 
> Exciting News!!! I'm going to commit to an Updating Schedule! From now on I'm going to post on Fridays! Except I'm really excited for Chapter Nine (not because it's angst, no definitely not) so that will be posted Monday. And then Chapter Ten will be posted a week from today and Fridays will be the update day for the foreseeable future. (I'm hoping to be far enough ahead in my writing that when I go back to school it doesn't affect things, but there's a decent chance the update schedule will change when we hit january/february). 
> 
> Also, I've decided I'm going to be posting more on my Tumblr (also @boomerangsandadora) about this fic. I've been hesitant cause most of my followers probably don't care, but then I realized that it's *my* blog and I want to talk about it so I will. So if you're interested follow me or just go to my blog and search WWDA cause that's what I'll be tagging things. Currently planning on posting the piccrews I made of Mak (and potentially sharing some of their backstory? but maybe not cause it might be spoilers) and also have some meta about my own scenes. (Not posted yet, but I have an awesome draft about Zuko and Toph's fight in Chapter Six relating to their parents). I'm self-absorbed and no one can stop me :)
> 
> I think that's all the rambling I have for now (I usually try to keep these notes short but also might stop doing that cause I have many thoughts and might share them sometimes). xoxo love y'all

Zuko passed the school day in a blur, not listening much to any teacher. His thoughts cycled between panic over his grade and his friendship with Sokka. 

He trudged into rehearsal and ignored Aang’s wave. He found a seat all the way in the corner, away from anyone else. He ignored Suki and Aang’s confused and concerned glances. Katara tried asking what was wrong, but he didn’t look up, just glared at the ground. There was no point in bothering with any of them. They were only friends with him because of the play and even if they liked him, they wouldn’t forgive him for yelling at Sokka. Katara would hate him. There was no point in trying to explain.

Katara sighed and said they were all there for him whenever he was ready to talk, then rejoined Aang and Suki. 

Toph came in and made her way to her usual seat. After putting down her bag, she asked “Where’s Sparky?”

“Pouting in the corner,” Katara responded.

Toph put out her cane--Katara stopped her from going to the wrong corner--and made her way to Zuko. Before she could say anything, he translated his glare into something she could perceive. “Go away, Toph.”

“What’s wrong? Did you get in a fight with your boyfriend?”

“Fuck off, Toph.”

Sensing that it was serious, Toph dropped her act. “Are you okay?”

“You don’t have to pretend to care, after today it’s not like you’re going to see me anyway.” 

“I can’t see you now.”

“You know what I meant!” He wasn’t in the mood for her jokes.

“So what exactly about me makes you think that I’m faking friendship?”

“Why would someone like you want to be friends with me? Clearly you’re just being friends with me because of Hadestown, but—”

Not correcting him--probably because she knew it was true--Toph asked, “What, you’re dropping out of the play?”

“My father’s going to make me, yeah.”

“That’s bullshit. He can’t do that.”

“Well he’s going to.” Toph opened her mouth angrily to respond.

Sokka stormed into the room and interrupted, “Hey Zuko? You can retake the math test tomorrow during lunch.” Having delivered his news, Sokka turned on his heel to head towards Toph’s seat. 

“Wait, what?”

Sokka ignored him. 

“ _Sokka_!” At the insistence in his voice, Sokka turned. “How did you get me a retake?”

From his position a few feet away, Sokka crossed his arms. “I talked to the teacher like _you_ should’ve. But don’t worry, that’s the last thing I’ll do for you. From now on I’ll just _leave you alone_.” He pivoted and resumed his walk away.

“Sokka—“ Zuko’s attempt to call Sokka back—to explain himself, to apologize, anything he could to take back what happened in the morning—was interrupted by the beginning of rehearsal. Toph left to sit with Sokka and the others, leaving Zuko alone in the corner with his guilt.

When rehearsal ended, Zuko’s pre-packed bag wasn’t enough. Students got in his way and by the time he made it to Sokka’s chair, he was gone.

“Shit.”

~~~

He spent the night practicing problems and reading formulas, trying not to think about how to apologize. He tried to do the review sheet again, but he’d memorized all the answers. He wrote and rewrote the formulas—while planning out speech after speech for Sokka—until he slumped over at 3am. 

~~~

The first half of the day passed in a blur. When it was time for the test, he nearly didn’t find the testing center—he’d never missed a test before and with the exception of retakes that was the only reason to go to the center—but eventually found it. He was alone, except for the teacher proctoring. 

His hand shook when he wrote the formulas in the top corner of the paper, just in case he forgot. This was already a better start than yesterday, when he’d just pictured them in his mind (until they’d faltered). 

He took a deep breath and read the first question, already sure he was going to fail again. 

It was question three from the review sheet--with the exact same numbers and everything. He did it out and checked his answer to be sure, but it was. He could actually breathe. 

Question eight from the review sheet followed. He wrote the answer (grateful he’d memorized the review sheet) before once again tackling the problem as if he didn’t know the answer, just to be sure. Then, a new question. But wait. It was just like question one, just phrased slightly different. He knew which formula to use and how to do it. Maybe he could do this. 

_No you can’t,_ Ozai whispered in his head.

Sokka’s voice, supposed to encourage him, said _I’ll leave you alone_. 

For a moment he gave into despair. 

But then he realized: the only way to make it up to Sokka was to talk to him. If he failed, if he couldn’t be in Hadestown, he’d lose Sokka. He wouldn’t lose Sokka. It didn’t matter how hard the math was, he wouldn’t let his father take Sokka away.

He breezed through question twelve from the review sheet, followed by a rephrased version of number two from the review sheet (it had the same numbers!), and froze when he encountered the same question that had confounded him yesterday on the test, although it had different numbers. 

He started to panic, but remembered Sokka’s advice. _Breathe_ , _focus on breathing._ He dug his fingernails into his palm. This wasn’t part of Sokka’s advice, but it gave him something concrete to focus on. 

He wasn’t sure, but he figured out a way to do the problem that made sense. His work carried through correctly, so even if he was wrong, he’d get partial credit. He felt more confident than he had on any math test, he was certain he had to have passed. 

With five more minutes in the period, he finished triple-checking his work and turned it in. A part of him wondered if the teacher had given him too easy a test. The rest was just glad to have survived.

He ignored the voice that wondered if his confidence was misplaced and that he had just failed. 

~~~

Zuko pulled Sokka aside in the hallway outside Mx. Mak’s classroom. “Sokka? Look, I understand if you never want to talk to me again. But just. Hear me out, okay? Afterwards, if you still want me to go away, I will. I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I just—I’ve never had a friend before. And I know that doesn’t make it okay, but I’m not used to having someone there and I didn’t control my temper and that doesn’t make it okay, but I really didn’t mean it and I was just really upset and—what I’m trying to say is—“ He knew it wasn’t going to be enough and Sokka was going to be mad and he’d be lucky to get out of this without getting into a fight, but _damn_ if it didn’t hurt losing this friendship and he just wanted to be able to say the right thing, but no matter what he said it was never enough. He always messed everything up.

“Zuko, chill. It’s okay. I didn’t like that you yelled at me, but I knew you were just stressed about math. I probably shouldn’t have been so rude about it yesterday, I was just frustrated. It doesn’t mean we’re not still friends.”

“What?” His mind came sputtering to a halt, completely taken aback by Sokka’s easy acceptance. _Was this some kind of trick?_

“You’re sorry, I’m sorry. We had a tiny fight, but now we’re good. Right?”

“I guess, I mean—” Zuko cut off his self-sabotaging thoughts. He’d never known Sokka to be anything other than honest, if he said they were good, then they were good. “Yeah, we’re good.”

“Alright, you ready to go to rehearsal?”

“No, not until I say one more thing. I have to thank you. Thank you so much. The second test was so much easier. I don’t know how you did that, but you saved my life.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Sokka smiled, “Come on, buddy, let’s go to rehearsal,” he stretched his arm around Zuko’s shoulders and they walked side by side to the music room.

Zuko marveled at the fact that Sokka’s touch didn’t frighten him, that watching his friend exaggerate his motions so he knew what was coming had only filled his stomach with slight butterflies. They didn’t seem like the usual fear he felt, only like well, almost like—like he liked it. 

He liked it enough that when Sokka removed his arm, he missed it. But he didn’t say anything, just settled in his seat between Sokka and Toph.

~~~

“Sokka! Hey!”  
  


Sokka turned away from his conversation with Teo to see Zuko standing in front of him. They still didn’t talk much in school, so anytime the other boy appeared in front of his math desk he was pleasantly surprised. “What’s up?”

“I just, uh, wanted to give you this back.” Zuko placed the a tupperware on the very edge of Sokka’s desk, then slowly inched it forward so it wouldn’t fall. Sokka smiled that he managed to make the simple action awkward. “Sorry, I’ve had it in my bag for a while now, but I kept forgetting to give it back.”

“Gran Gran was losing her mind. How were we supposed to survive without our _tupperware_?” Sokka said overdramatically. Zuko shifted awkwardly and opened his mouth to apologize. “Dude. I’m kidding. We have like a million containers, don’t worry about it. Thanks though. Did you like the pie?”

Zuko’s smile faltered ever so slightly. “Uh, yeah, it--it was great. You’ll have to thank your grandmother again for me.”

“Are you sure you liked it? You don’t have to lie.”

“No, no it was awesome!” Zuko was definitely lying, or at the very least hiding something. But before Sokka could pursue the topic further, the bell rang and Zuko hurried to his desk in the back of the room.

The teacher started class by handing back their tests. She liked to give them a few minutes to compare answers before asking questions, so (after seeing that Teo had gotten a 100% and was contentedly scrolling through Instagram) Sokka hurried to the back of the room. 

Sokka didn’t want to brag, so he hesitantly held up his 97% with a small grin. In response, Zuko showed that he’d gotten a 100%. Ignoring the fact that they were in class--although based on how tense he was, Zuko had not forgotten--Sokka wrapped Zuko in a hug and shook him side to side in excitement.

Later that day, in rehearsal, Sokka was sure to tell their friends about Zuko’s grade. He could tell by Zuko’s blush that he was embarrassed, but his little smile revealed that he appreciated the attention. Sokka was so full of pride for his friend that it didn’t even occur to him to mention his own grade--something Katara berated him for later, in the privacy of their home.

~~~

Zuko had never gotten an 100% on a math test. A few math quizzes, back when math wasn’t so complicated, but never a math test. He was sure his father would be proud. Maybe he’d want to hang it up, next to all Azula’s awards.

So when his father called him into his study after school, he wasn’t afraid. As he waited for his father to finish typing, he held in a smile. 

Ozai finished, sighed, and looked at his son. “I suppose you know that your math grade has improved.” Zuko nodded. “I’m giving back your phone,” he slid an iPhone across his desk, “but don’t let it distract you. I still expect more than a pitiful 91 in calculus. Or need I remind you that you’re only in AB?” The man sighed, disappointed. “You can see your tutor outside of the house because clearly he’s necessary, but he’s too loud to be here. That’s all, go get to work. Enjoy your phone while you’re lucky enough to have it.”

All the warmth that had filled Zuko when Sokka had hugged him that afternoon--when he shared his grade--and the hope that he’d had of impressing his father leached away.

He nodded, not daring to show an ounce of weakness in front of Ozai, but as soon as he reached his bedroom he curled up in his bed, pulled the comforter over his entire body, and wondered why he even bothered. _What was the point?_

_Half a face and a roof over my head._

He knew that without his grade increasing he’d lose everything. He just wished he’d gained something. 

A noise at his window caused him to freeze. When he heard it a second time--he could swear it sounded like a knock--he uncurled and approached the window, pulling up the blinds. 

“SOKKA?” He scream-whispered, once he’d opened the window. Sokka was perched on a tree branch. 

“We’re here to kidnap you,” at the bottom of the tree, Zuko could see Toph and Suki. He leaned out further and there in the driveway was Sokka’s car. It looked like there was a driver and someone in the passenger seat, probably Katara and Aang.

“Get out of here!”

“Come on! Don’t you want to celebrate your math grade?”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “My pitiful 91?” he murmured.

“What? You got a 100, remember? You worked really hard, you deserve to come out every once in a while.”

“Just get out of here, Sokka, you’re going to get me in trouble.”

“If you don’t climb out this window, I’m going to send Toph to your front door.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Try me,” Sokka said with a smirk. This wasn’t funny. This wasn’t funny at all. Didn’t Sokka understand? His dad wasn’t Hakoda. Sneaking out--or blind girls showing up on the front stoop--wasn’t something to be taken lightly.

“Zuzu?” came Azula’s voice, “Who are you talking to?”

Zuko pulled down the blinds, although the window was still open, when his sister opened his door. Frantically, he pulled out his phone. “I’m on the phone with Sokka. What do you want?”

She entered, closing the door with a gentle thud _._ “Oh, look. It only took you half the year to get your phone back. Since it’s been so long, I hope you didn’t forget dad has gps on it.”

“It hasn’t been half a year--” he said, even though that was _obviously_ what she was trying to get him to say, “And I’m just talking on the phone. Why are you so worried about gps? Did you think I was trying to sneak out or something?” _Agni,_ could he be anymore obvious?

“If you’re not trying to sneak out, why are you standing in front of your window?”

“I was trying to see if there were any birds in the tree.”

“Suuure. Can I say hi to Sokka?”

“Yeah, I’ll put him on speaker.” He pretended to press a button on his phone “Uh, Sokka, Azula wants to say hi.”

From behind him, “Hi Azula.”

“Hi Sokka. Your voice is so clear, it’s almost like you’re in the room.”

“Nope, just hanging at home,” Sokka laughed awkwardly. 

Azula rolled her eyes, pushed Zuko out of the way, and pushed up the blinds. “Get inside, idiot.”

Sokka came in with more grace than Zuko thought he had any right to possess. 

Shaking his eyes from Sokka’s athletic form, Zuko met Azula’s eyes. “Don’t tell father.”

“Why not?” Azula smirked, always excited to have more to hold over Zuko’s head.

“Because I’ll tell him how often you sneak out.”

“And I’ll say you’re lying.” Azula grabbed Sokka’s arm, “ _I_ actually have proof.”

“Azula, _please_.”

Azula's smile widened. “What will you do for it?”

Zuko crossed his arms. “What do you--”

Sokka interrupted. “Are you being for real right now?” He turned to Azula, yanking his arm from her grasp. “You’re really not going to cover for your _brother_?”

“Don’t bother,” Zuko said at the same time that Azula said “Stay out of this.”

“If you try to bring me to your dad,” Sokka said, determination doubling, “I’ll say I’m your boyfriend.”

“Please, I’d never date someone like you.”

“And I’d never date you, but your dad doesn’t know that. And I’m a pretty good actor, if I do say so myself.”

Azula rolled her eyes. “Where are you even taking Zuko?”

“It’s Friday. Ty Lee’s having a party.” There was a party at Ty Lee’s every weekend. Sometimes it was specifically celebrating a specific sister or event, but usually it was just the chaos created by seven girls living under one roof. 

“You’re sneaking out to Ty Lee’s?”

Zuko hadn’t known this, so he just shrugged. “You’re an idiot. I told dad it’s rehearsal, so just come with me, rather than sneaking out with this dumbass.”

“Yeah, but the party doesn’t start till seven. We’re getting food first.”

“Let me come with and Zuko can walk out the front door. Or leave me behind and he can sneak out in his socks.” Azula gestured at Zuko’s socks and although his shoes were just outside his door, he knew if they said no she’d never let him sneak out with shoes.

“Fine, but you have to be nice to Suki.” Sokka said. 

“She’s the one—” Azula cut off her own retort with a deep breath. “You know what? _Fine,_ if that’s what it takes to prevent Zuko from getting murdered, I’ll play nice. For tonight only.”

~~~

Standing at Azula’s side and discussing staying out past their curfew, Zuko had thought he was going to die, but somehow Azula’s talk about dinner and rehearsal tricked his father.

But making it past their father, meant they made it to Sokka’s minivan which was presenting a new problem--lack of seats. Katara was driving--she was very happy to show off her brand new license--with Aang in the passenger seat. There were five more seats, which would have been perfect, but one of the very back seats was down to allow a small sailboat to fit in the trunk. So with Suki and Toph in the very back and Azula in one seat, there was only one seat left for Zuko and Sokka. 

“Azula, scooch. We can share.”

“Not a chance, Zuzu.” Zuko met his sister’s glare for a moment and then looked away.

“Suki could Toph sit in your lap?” Sokka asked.

Suki looked like she was going to say yes, but Toph gave an emphatic no and after a confused glance, Suki smiled and shook her head.

“Alrighty, then,” Sokka’s voice was overly cheery, “Zuko, you get to sit on my lap.”

Zuko’s face turned bright red. “No, I’ll--” he tried to find space on the floor or the trunk or _anywhere at all_ , but there wasn’t any. Backpacks, sailboats, and other teenagers filled all the space.

“Maybe Sokka should drive and--”

Toph cut off Aang’s attempt to share a seat with Katara. “Shut up, Twinkletoes.” 

Wishing the ground would open up and swallow him, Zuko followed Sokka into the minivan. He sat in his lap, gingerly trying not to put too much weight on Sokka or hit his head on the ceiling. 

He was just going to focus on not crushing Sokka. He wasn’t going to think about it or make it weird. Even if it was really nice. 

Fuck, was he making Sokka uncomfortable? Was he too heavy? What if he smelled? 

Sokka probably wished he could get out of this situation but was too nice to say anything. If he knew how much Zuko was enjoying being close to him, he’d run in the other direction and never come back. Zuko needed to stay calm, act normal, not fuck this up.

~~~

Zuko was on his lap. That was fine. Normal. The fact that his heart was speeding up was just because--because he was annoyed at the faces everyone was making. And he felt bad that Zuko looked so anxious. The poor guy looked so uncomfortable. Was Sokka’s doing something wrong? Should he say something?

Zuko’s hand was clenched around the little bar on the ceiling so tight his knuckles were white. “Relax dude,” Sokka said.

“Say cheese, Zuzu.” Zuko and Sokka moved as one to raise a single finger in Azula’s direction. 

“We’re about to hit a bunch of potholes,” Katara called from the driver’s seat, “So, uh, hang on, I guess?”

Sokka wrapped his arms around Zuko to keep him safe. Not because he was warm and Sokka wanted to pull him close (and never let go), no it was just a safety precaution.

~~~

When Sokka wrapped his arms around Zuko, his heart beat so fast he thought it was going to explode. Suki whispered something to Toph who laughed loudly.

Trying to ignore Toph’s laughter, Zuko wondered if it was possible to die from being hugged. When was even the last time he’d been hugged. Probably by Uncle before--he didn’t want to think about it, especially not while he was in Sokka’s lap. Uncle was probably still mad about the things Zuko had said (had _screamed_ ) the last time he’d seen him. And actually, Sokka had hugged him earlier that day. Two hugs from Sokka in one day. But this one didn’t _really_ count, Sokka was just protecting him. Sokka would do this for anyone. It felt nice--it was the safest Zuko had felt in a long time--but it was just a human seat belt, not a hug.

~~~

Sokka was hugging Zuko and this maybe felt different than how it felt when he hugged Aang. He didn’t understand, he was all about normalizing platonic affection--he still kissed Suki often enough that people didn’t believe they’d broken up, he forced hugs on Toph, and cuddle sessions with Aang were the bomb--but this felt . . . _different_ somehow. 

Did he _like_ Zuko? 

But if he liked Zuko that meant he liked boys. And if he liked boys, he would’ve noticed by now. It wasn’t like he was homophobic. He was surrounded by the LGBTQIA+ community--both his girlfriends had been bi, Aang was pan, Katara was trans, Toph was aroace, and he had _two_ dads--so if he was bisexual, he would’ve figured it out already. Plus, just because he knew guys were good looking didn’t mean he was interested. It just meant he had eyes.

Nah, he was just Zuko’s best friend. Aang had never been so afraid of touch, that was what was different. He’d earned Zuko’s trust, that’s what made his touch so special. 

Sokka? Bisexual? Don’t be ridiculous!

~~~

Azula regarded the others around her and forced down her disgust. While she had a salad--that she was barely eating anyway--the others had decided to choose greasy and/or breakfast food. Zuko, since Ozai didn’t deem him worthy of an allowance, had accepted their “extras.” They’d _clearly_ ordered the foods for him on purpose and yet he only declined their offers twice before accepting. He had no shame. The only food he actually declined was Sokka’s burger, that Sokka had already taken a huge bite of (but then noticed everyone giving Zuko food and tried to join in on the charity). 

Azula wouldn’t let herself rely on food (or Agni forbid, other people) the way he did. She didn’t need waffle fries (that Toph “accidentally” ordered), a pancake (that Katara “didn’t want”), a milkshake (that Suki “wasn’t in the mood for”), and a waffle (that Aang didn’t even give an excuse for offering). She wasn’t weak, she would be fine with just a bit of salad. It would tide her over until morning. Or it wouldn’t and she’d deal with the hunger, it helped her focus anyway. 

No one was really talking to Azula--and she didn’t mind since she was above most of their dumb jokes anyway--until a lull in the conversation caused Toph to turn to her. “So,” she said, “I’m not really sure why you’re here. But since you are, what can you tell us about Zuzu?”

“Don’t call me that!” Zuko protested from Toph’s side. 

“Ooo, where to start?” There were so many things Zuzu’s new friends didn’t know.

“Shut up, Azula.”

“He was a total mama’s boy.” Everyone smiled at this. “Cried for weeks when she left.” No one knew how to respond to this, but they definitely weren’t laughing. Rolling her eyes, no one knew how to take a joke, Azula tried again. “Once, he was feeding the ducks and there was this one duckling who none of the other ducklings would let get any food.” Ducks were smart like that, they had a common enemy to unite against. But Zuko never respected Survival of the Fittest.

“Stop it, Azula,” Zuko moaned, but not so seriously that anyone paid him any attention.

Doing her best impression of Suki--not because she liked the girl, but because the group seemed to enjoy her style of story telling-- Azula continued, “So, he must have been six or seven, right? So, genius that he was, he decided to wade into the water to hand feed this one duckling. He got within like a foot of it--our mother was screaming at him to stop--before the mama duck came and squawked at him. She didn’t even touch him, but he ran for it. He came to shore soaking wet and sobbing.”

“Aww, poor baby Zuko,” Sokka said, and everyone nodded in agreement. Pity wasn’t the emotion she was going for, but it was better than awkward silence.

“Azula is neglecting to mention that she used to pelt the birds with full rolls of bread when mom wasn’t looking.” 

As everyone laughed, Katara murmured something that sounded like “Makes sense.”

Annoyed that her story hadn’t gotten laughs, but Zuko’s dig at her had, Azula dug in. “Well, Zuko sure loved that fountain. When he was ten--”

“Stop, Azula,” he said, harsher than before. But no one paid him any mind.

“I was playing with Ty Lee and Mai. There was an apple on Mai’s head and I was pretending I was going to shoot it with this bow and arrow my dad had. I wasn’t an idiot, I wasn’t actually going to. But Mr. Heroic comes racing in and pushes Mai and himself right into the fountain.” 

Zuko crossed his arms and cut off the group’s snickers. “Yeah, then you told dad I took the bow and arrow from his office.” Azula shrugged, smirking, while Zuko glared at her. 

Azula couldn’t believe he was complaining. It had been _eight_ years and anyway, “It wasn’t that bad, mom was there to protect you.” 

“Still,” Zuko rubbed his wrist as if it still hurt. Azula rolled her eyes again, but noticed that the other members of the table (with the exception of Toph) had noticed Zuko’s action. She’d have to remind him not to get CPS called, not unless he wanted to get dad _really_ mad.

“Whatever. When are we going to Ty Lee’s? And are you,” she turned to Suki, “even allowed in?” Despite the smile plastered on her face, Sokka glared in her direction as a reminder of her promise. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Suki responded, marching Azula’s sickly sweet tone. 

“Well it’s not my place to share, I was just surprised you were invited.”

Suki dropped her fake smile. “You can’t really think I’m _that_ stupid, can you? I’m not going to fall for your attempt to make drama.”

Talking normally, but still smiling, Azula replied, “I’m glad to hear that since I’m not attempting to make any drama.”

“Let’s pretend for a second you weren’t lying and Mai _was_ upset with me, that wouldn’t change the fact that the party’s at _Ty Lee_ ’s house.”

“Like there’s a difference,” Zuko murmured. 

“What do you mean?”

“Mai spends as much time at Ty Lee’s house as she does at hers. Probably more.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter. Mai was the one who invited me, I think she likes having friends who don’t try to control her.” Suki gave Azula a pointed glare, in case the words weren’t clear enough.

Azula opened her mouth to retort--she’d been best friends with Mai and Ty Lee for years and this girl wanted to come in and question her after knowing them for a month?--but Sokka beat her to it. “Azula, remember what we talked about?”

“What, you going to drive me home if I insult your girlfriend?”

“No,” Suki said firmly, before Sokka could answer, “We’ll just leave you here.” Azula and Suki glared at each other for a moment before Azula finally wrenched her glare away. She could admit when she was beat, even if she didn’t want to.

  
“Anywaaay, who wants to hear what Teo did at lunch?” Toph asked. The conversation quickly moved on, leaving the awkwardness behind. 

Before they piled cash onto the table, Aang had a whipped cream mustache, Katara had mimicked one of her _two_ dads, Suki had threatened to kill Sokka (multiple times), Toph had punched everyone at the table, and Azula couldn't help but notice that Zuko looked happier than he had in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You were all so nervous about that math test and I was just cackling cause No Way Sokka was gonna let Zuko suffer!! Zuko worked way too hard to be murdered by Ozai this early in the story ;p
> 
> Also, if Azula hadn't entered and Zuko had kept telling Sokka to leave, Sokka would have left!! He's big on jokes and can push the line on Zuko's boundaries sometimes, but even without understanding the Ozai situation he's not an asshole and wouldn't force Zuko (or anyone) to hang out with him.
> 
> I ended this chapter on a happy enough note, but Chapter Nine, well...it's particularly Mean of me. It's another one of those "I wrote this while feeling angsty and I should probably delete but I really like it and my primary audience is myself and therefore y'all have to suffer" chapters. I'd love to hear your predictions cause while it's not out of left field I don't think it's particularly the Most Obvious plot point?
> 
> Does anyone know tagging etiquette? Cause I'm not sure if I should tag Katara as trans? It's not really relevant to the story so idk if it's helpful to tag or not? (and yeah, it's probably not going to be mentioned again. She's socially transitioned and living her best life and this story is focused on Zukka with background Kataang so there's no need to worry about what's in her pants) 
> 
> Also I'm having a fun time trying to figure out my gender identity and lowkey want to project that onto Toph and/or Aang (Aang with they/them pronouns?? Toph as a she/they?? *heart eyes emoji*) so let me know how you'd feel if I deviated from my outline to add that subplot. 
> 
> Also, Sokka being a bi idiot is so relatable isn't it? I thought writing Azula was a fun change, what'd you think? Are you excited for the party? For the angst in Chapter Nine?
> 
> Someone told me that if you leave a comment, you're more likely to find a heads up penny on the sidewalk (that's good luck!). Can't hurt to try it, right? Either way, see you on Monday!!


	9. azula gets drunk and zuko tells the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gaang goes to a party, Zuko and Azula go home to Ozai, and Zuko reconnects with Uncle Iroh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it's technically Tuesday for me, but it's still Monday on the West Coast and I basically live on West Coast time, so this counts as on time, right? Honestly I probably should've just kept it to myself a little longer to edit, but I've already edited the angst enough and I haven't prepped for the class I'm teaching tomorrow. (I love saying that cause I sound like a real adult haha). 
> 
> CWs: Ozai is very violent this chapter!! I don't think the violence counts as graphic, but there's violence and it's not good. We also get references to worse violence. There's also a character who throws up. The experienced violence (not the references) as well as the throw up, are all in a scene that has been denoted with *** instead of ~~~ so if you're worried about being triggered, please scroll to the end notes to get the summarized version of what happened, then scroll to the second *** and read from after there. (And please let me know if you think I need to change my tags!!) 
> 
> Also, I was super excited because last night I reached 200 kudos and already today I'm over 220?? That's INSANE? Over 220 people like my writing?? To anyone who's ever left a comment or a kudo, you make so much of a difference in my depressed life, you have no idea. Thank you thank you thank you!
> 
> Please enjoy and remember to be cautious of the violence mentions! Have a great day (and Happy Hanukkah!) xoxo

The drive to Ty Lee’s house found Zuko once again on Sokka’s lap. The only difference from the first car ride was that Suki had called shotgun, so Aang was sitting in the back with Toph. 

Suki was scrolling through her Spotify when she asked, “Have any of you heard of Six?”

“I love it!” Zuko said enthusiastically, but quickly reddened when it became clear that no one else had heard of it.

Filling the awkward silence, Katara said, “I think you mentioned it to me. You really like it, right Suki?”

“Not as much as Zuko, he has the whole thing memorized.” Zuko glared at his sister for volunteering this information. 

“Who’s your favorite queen?” Suki asked.

“K Howard,” Zuko responded without hesitation. “Who’s yours?”

“Oof. Probably Anne, she’s so funny. I love K Howard too though. And poor Jane.”

“Okay, if you’re going to talk about this musical you have to at least play a song from it,” Sokka complained. 

“Alright, only if Zuko will sing-along,” Suki offered.

“It’s not exactly in my range--”

“Take it down an octave or two and stop pretending like you aren’t dying to sing it,” Azula interrupted. 

Suki pressed play and upbeat music filled the car.

Sokka began to ask if it was the right song--it seemed like pop music--but stopped when Zuko made direct eye contact when he sang the line “ _ I think we can all agree I’m the ten amongst these threes _ .” Sokka wondered why his heart was pounding.

Zuko began to sing more, but Azula’s scoff stopped him. He froze, face turning red in embarrassment, but forced himself to look angry as he turned to her. “What?”

“Nothing, just didn’t expect you to start flirting.”

Zuko made a surprised--and disgusted--noise. “I’m  _ not _ flirting! You know I don’t--I would never--that’s ridiculous--why would you--”

Feeling wounded by just how upset Zuko seemed at the very  _ idea _ of flirting with him, Sokka broke in. “Don’t worry, Azula. Zuko’s well-aware that I’m straight as an arrow, he was just acting out the song.”

He heard snickers in front and behind him at his comment about him being straight, but decided not to interact with them. 

Azula held up her hands in mock surrender. “Okay, whatever you say.”

Zuko maintained a glare at Azula the rest of the car ride and didn’t sing along with any of the other songs Suki played.

~~~

Getting out of the car (and off of Sokka’s lap), Zuko felt anticipation welling up. He hadn’t been to Ty Lee’s house since he and Mai had been dating. And Azula misreading his totally innocent  _ singing along with a song _ as flirting had thrown him for a loop. He wasn’t upset that Sokka was straight, he was just worried about Azula sharing inaccurate information about him with their father. Sokka’s sexuality didn’t matter since Zuko had never even been flirting in the first place.

Sokka stayed by his side as they meandered up the path to Ty Lee’s front door. He seemed to notice how nervously Zuko was regarding the front door. “You okay dude?”

“Am I ever?” He asked in a way he hoped sounded like a joke. Sokka frowned a bit.

“You don’t have to--I mean if you want to go somewhere else--”

“Sokka, I’m fine. Probably going to stay in the corner, but fine.”

The door was opened by Ty Lee who threw her arms around Azula, before greeting everyone else. Sokka and Zuko were at the end of the procession (the path to her door wasn’t wide enough for more than two people) so Ty Lee greeted them last. “Zuko, I’m still mad you snatched up this cutie!” 

“Ty Lee,” Zuko hissed.

“Trying to find out if I’m single, Ty Lee?” Sokka asked, laughing it off.

~~~

Toph tugged Zuko over to the table where Suki and Mai had just finished beating Ty Lee and Azula in beer pong. “I’m not going to play--”

“I know, Sparky,” Toph cut him off. “We’re just going to talk for a bit and I wanted to make sure you didn’t keep pouting in the corner.” Sure enough, Ty Lee was pulling out chairs for the rest of the group to sit on. Azula leaned against the corner of the table, unwilling to sit with the group that consisted mostly of her brother’s friends, but not having anyone other than Mai and Ty Lee to hang out with. Ty Lee finished pulling over chairs, Aang and Katara were sharing one, Sokka had Suki drunkenly sprawled in his lap, Zuko was ignoring the fact that Toph was leaning on him as if she couldn’t quite hold up her own weight, and Mai had her own chair. But Ty Lee was left standing. 

“Shoot, I need to find another chair.”

“Just come here,” Mai said and Zuko raised his eyebrows at her. He couldn’t believe she was acting on her crush. From the panicked glance he received in return, she couldn't believe it either. Ty Lee, unaware of the gay panic she was causing, perched contentedly on Mai’s lap.

“We better not be gathering to talk about Hadestown,” Azula said grumpily.

“We’re not  _ that _ lame,” Aang reassured her. 

“We’re just talking.  _ Friends _ talk sometimes, did you know that?” Azula glared at Suki.

To break the tension, Ty Lee offered a new conversation topic. “Do you guys believe in reincarnation?”

“I mean it’s pretty obvious that I believe in reincarnation,” Aang gestured at his signature “tattoos.” 

“Yeah, why the hell do you cover yourself in sharpie?” Azula asked.

“Azula! You can’t just ask someone why they’re covered in sharpie!” Ty Lee reprimanded. 

“Gyatso--that’s my dad--won’t let me get tattoos yet cause apparently letting a teenager get full-body makes him look bad as my guardian, even if _he_ got them at 16. But as soon as I turn eighteen, we’re going to Tibet to get the real things. They’re symbolic, so I draw them on until I can get them for real.” He gestured to his beanie with a frown, “Gyatso won’t let me draw an arrow on my head though, that’s why he got me this.”

“Thanks for telling us Aang, that’s really cool.” Ty Lee said.

“Oh, no problem. It’s not a secret or anything. I don’t mind talking about it.”

“I believe in reincarnation because I have dreams about my past lives,” Ty Lee said. “Sometimes I have dreams about parallel universes too. That’s how I knew Suki was going to be important in my life, I remembered her from a dream last year.”

Suki smiled, leaning against Sokka’s chest. Azula clenched her drink tighter. “I believe in reincarnation too,” Suki admitted, “I’ve been here awhiiile too. In one of my lives I was the goddess of another planet.” 

Sokka smiled down at her. “I think you’re really drunk, Sooks.”

“Maybe, but I’d say the same thing either way.”

Katara nodded. “She’s told me that before, while sober.”

“If you believe in parallel universes,” Mai asked, “Does the universe split every time you make a choice?” Sokka nodded while Suki shook her head.

“No, only some choices--the important ones. Otherwise there’s too many universes for my human--well, moderately human--brain to comprehend.”

Katara burst out laughing. “The confidence! You really just said you were only moderately human as if that was a normal thing to say!” Suki only shrugged in response.   
  


“I was the Queen of Scotland,” Toph said, her chin digging into Zuko’s head. She had a few shots (because Katara made the mistake of specifically telling her not to) and given how heavily she was leaning into him, he could tell she was feeling the alcohol.

“What I want to know,” Katara said, “Is how do you know about these past lives? Is it a feeling or a memory?”

“What’s the difference?” Suki asked.

Katara stared at her in confusion. “Are you serious? They’re two totally separate things. Like, picturing your alien planet versus just feeling like you’ve been an alien.”

“But if you remember it, you feel it.”

Katara opened her mouth, but Sokka shook his head. “She’s too drunk for this argument, Katara, and you are too sober.”

~~~

The rest of the party passed in a blur. Suki played with Mai against Ty Lee and Azula in beer pong, pointedly ignoring Azula’s snarky comments at her expense. Zuko stayed to the side, but Toph (who was very drunk) and Katara (who was sober) stayed near him most of the time. Sokka (sober) and Aang (also sober) were more social, but came back to check on him frequently. It wasn’t  _ fun _ but it wasn’t as bad as he expected. He even had a nice conversation with Teo, who’s wheelchair kept him mostly out of the chaos (although he was vastly more popular than Zuko and had many friends coming by to bring him drinks and talk).

~~~

At nine thirty, Zuko asked Sokka for a ride. Sokka would be returning for the others (and ceding the car to Katara), but since he hadn’t ended up drinking, he could bring Zuko and Azula home.

Azula was wasted.

“Azula, it’s time to go.”

“Go away, Zuzu. I wanna play again.” 

Ty Lee led her away from the table, “You’re wasted, Azula, it’s time to go home.”

“Don’t wanna. Don’t make me go, Ty.” Despite her words, Azula let her brother bring her to the car. Here, she gained more urgency. “NO, like, seriously, Zuzu. I don’t want to go home. Let’s run away. Sokka? Sokka, can Zuko live with you? I’ll live with Ty Lee.” Her hair, previously partially down and the rest in a bun, was running down her back and falling into her face.

Sokka smiled. “Sorry, Azula. I don’t think you guys can run away.”

“But dad’s sc-a-a-ry.”

“Hush, Azula.”

“He is! It’s hard work being perfect all the time, but after what he--”

“Azula!”

“What? I’m drunk, not stupid, I’m not going to say anything about your face--” 

“Azula! Would you please  _ shut up _ .”

Sokka interjected. “Maybe you should come over. Not forever, but just for tonight. Let her sleep it off.”

“Yeah! Sleepover!”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Sokka, but we can’t.”

“Pleeaase Zuko?” She gave a pleading face almost as good as Aang’s. 

But unlike Aang, she was his sister. “Yeah? You think you can talk dad into letting us stay out right now? Cause we both know  _ I _ can’t and you seem just a little too wasted to deal with him.”

“Not wasted, just drunksy—tipsky—“

“I think you’re proving my point, now come on, get in the car.” Azula continued to glare, but let Zuko sit her down and buckle her.

Once Zuko was sitting in the passenger seat, Sokka asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to come home with me? My dads would be totally cool about it.”

“See, Zu?” Azula slurred, “Dads don’t mind.” 

Gently as he could through his annoyance, he explained. “Sokka’s dads don’t.  _ Our _ dad does.” He smiled sadly at Sokka. “Thanks for the offer, but we have to go home. Trust me, I don’t want to anymore than she does, but if we don’t come home he’ll think I kidnapped Azula or something.”

When he pulled into the driveway, Sokka asked, “Are you going to be able to get her in okay?” 

“Yeah. Thanks again. See you Monday?”

***

Zuko had supported his sister into the house and up the stairs when she said--not as quietly as he would’ve preferred--”I’m gonna be sick, Zu.”

“Just hold it in a few more steps,” Zuko picked her up with a heave and ran her into the bathroom. He made it just in time. 

He gathered her hair into a loose ponytail while she threw up into the toilet. Despite the disgusting nature of the situation, he couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. It wasn’t often that he got close enough to Azula to touch her hair.

The moment was broken by the one voice he didn’t want to hear. “Azula?”

“ _ Shit _ .” Zuko dropped his sister’s hair and ran, closing the bathroom door behind him. She was too busy throwing up to have noticed Ozai’s voice.

“What are you doing in here?” Ozai demanded, stepping into his daughter’s pristine bedroom. 

Keeping himself solidly in front of the bathroom door, Zuko stumbled to think of an excuse. “Me? Um, I--we just got home. And, uh, Azula’s not feeling well. Because, um, one--one of the parents brought bad crab cakes to rehearsal. She’s pretty--pretty sick. I was just, uh, checking on her.” 

Ozai looked like he was resisting the urge to roll his eyes. “You’re not a very good liar. What’s really going on?” Ozai stepped closer to the bathroom door and Zuko could tell his father had been drinking. Just a beer or two, but that was enough to make him quicker to anger and looser with his punches. And just a few feet away, he knew his sister was still throwing up, too drunk to do anything else.

“I wasn’t lying!” The panic in his voice was certain to make his lie transparent. He calculated. What could he do? How could he stall Ozai without getting killed? He was literally blocking the bathroom door with his body, he needed a less suspicious distraction. “I just seemed like I was, because I’m nervous.” He mumbled the last part, exactly how Ozai hated.

“Speak up.”

“I said I--I’m nervous. Because--because I have to tell you something.” He had to admit to not receiving the student of the quarter award in his gov class. But was that going to keep him distracted for long enough? How could he phrase it to make his father as angry as possible, without getting thrown out? 

“What did you do?” Ozai demanded icily. 

“Nothing, sir!” Stalling. He needed this to take as long as possible. Azula needed a chance to sober up. “I--can we talk somewhere else? Like your office?”

“What did you do?” If Zuko had been scared by his father’s tone the first time, well, this time his blood ran cold.

“I haven’t done anything.” He took a steadying breath. He could do this. He  _ had _ to do this. “I--I just wanted to discuss--the--my Stanford application.”

“What about it?”

“Please, can we go to your office--?”   
  


“Stop trying to distract me.”

Zuko took another breath. Steeling himself as best he could against what was to come. “I don’t think it’s worth sending.” His father took a heavy step forward and despite himself he stumbled backwards, his father just took another step. “It’s a waste of your money. I can’t get in, no matter how good an essay I write.”

His father loomed over him. “Why not?”

“I--I”  _ shit.  _ He knew he had to do it--Azula was his baby sister--but it was going to be bad. “I lied the other night. I didn't want to admit Azula did better than me. I didn't get a student of the quarter award in government.” The slap across his face was expected, but he still gasped at how much it hurt. His father pushed him and his back collided with the wall.

“You  _ lied _ to me?” Ozai asked and pulled Zuko away from the wall only to slam him back against it. “You disgraceful--” he was slammed against the wall again-- “disrespectful--” and again, shaking Azula’s lamp, “dishonourable--” and if he hit the wall again he knew he was going to pass out. If he passed out Ozai would stop, at least for now, and Azula would still be in trouble. His father wasn’t expecting resistance--probably thought he was already unconscious--so it wasn’t too hard to wrestle himself from his grasp and run to the door. He made for his bedroom across the hall, thinking that the lock might buy him some time, but his father had longer legs. He tackled Zuko. Resisting the urge to give in, Zuko struggled. He was careful not to hurt his father, but didn’t give into his weight. But for all his wiggling, Ozai was bigger and stronger. He also had the advantage of ruthlessness. Ozai managed to turn Zuko over so that his wrists were pinned above his head and he stared up at his father. 

Against his will--against his  _ plan _ \--he began to quiver. “Please,” he whimpered. For as much as he wanted to help Azula--as much as he knew he was doing the right thing--he wished he could be anywhere else. It had been so long since he had done something like this, something so easily preventable. And he knew he’d made the right choice, he  _ had _ to protect his sister, but he was terrified anyway, wishing to be away from the man who plagued his nightmares--wishing he hadn’t chosen to throw himself in the man’s path. Why hadn’t he gone to Sokka’s when he offered? (Maybe there was a parallel universe where he made a different choice). “I didn’t mean to--I’m sorry--please--”

“You  _ lied _ to me. You were too stupid to do well in your classes and rather than do the honorable thing, rather than be a man, you _lied_ to me. Then, like the coward you are,  you ran from me." Ozai let out a breath, blowing boozy air in Zuko's face. "I should throw you out this instant.” Zuko shook harder, wondering where he’d go, if Uncle would still take him in. “But, I’m a merciful man. I will give you one last chance to learn your lesson. Do you understand?”

“Yes--yes, father. I’m so sorry.”

“I have no choice but to punish you. Do you understand? I don’t want to do this, but you made me. This is your fault.” 

As he was yanked to his feet, Zuko believed him. He knew what came next and it was all Zuko's fault.

***

Zuko hadn’t gotten out of bed when Azula knocked quietly at his door. He barely dared to move between the pain of the thin burns on his arms and the bruises that felt as if they covered every inch of his body. “Zuko?”

“Go away.” 

She pushed the door open and closed it behind her. She sat on the edge of the bed, far from Zuko. “You shouldn’t have done that.” The room was dark, all the blinds down, but she didn’t even look at his form under the covers.

“Did it work?” Zuko asked.

“He didn’t even check on me.”

Zuko let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding.

“That was stupid. I wouldn’t do that for you.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.”  _ Obviously. _ “But you’re my little sister.”

“He’s going to kill you, next time.” There was something in her voice--fear? Compassion? 

“There won’t be a next time.” There couldn’t be.

“I’d be better off as an only child. Less competition.” Whatever had been in her voice was gone, replaced by her usual grandeur.

“Go away Azula.”

Softer--the closest Azula ever got to admitting guilt--she said, “I didn’t ask you to do it.”

“I know. Go away.”

~~~

Sokka wondered why Zuko wasn’t answering his texts. Had he gotten his phone taken away already? Or had he just given Sokka his number with no plan to respond?

~~~

At 2:00 on Sunday Sokka received a call. He picked up on the second ring. “Zuko?”

“Can you do me a favor? I need a ride.”

~~~

Sokka wasn’t going to say anything. But the hoodie and the slow pace Zuko was moving at didn’t seem good. He couldn’t see his face, no matter how hard he tried to make eye contact, Zuko just kept staring at his feet.

“Thanks for picking me up.”

“Anytime.” Feeling strangely serious, he continued. “I mean it. Day or night. Call me, I’ll come get you.”

“Thanks. I don’t--”

“Don’t know how to thank me? Just keep smiling.”

Zuko pulled himself tighter in his slumped position. “I was going to say I don’t deserve a friend like you.”

“Hey, you do deserve me. And even if you didn’t, I’m here anyway.”

He stayed slumped, but seemed to loosen up a bit. 

~~~

“You sure you don’t want me to come in? I don’t mind.” 

“No, I don’t think this will take long.” 

“Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll go great.”

Sokka’s smile was earnest and Zuko appreciated it. He just didn’t deserve it.

He ignored the chime of the bell when he walked in, ignored Song’s greeting (and not so subtle comment about how long it had been since she’d seen him), ignored everything but his path to the kitchen of the Jasmine Dragon. He put one foot in front of the other (ignoring the aching of his body) until he found his uncle, humming to himself as he brewed tea.

“Uncle?” he called out hesitantly. The man turned like he didn’t believe his ears. His face lit up.

“Zuko!” Iroh pulled his nephew into a tight hug, which he quickly loosened at the boy’s discomfort. Zuko had barely gasped--the pain from being touched had been intense, but he wasn’t  _ weak _ \--yet Iroh still accommodated for him.

After standing still for a moment, Zuko pulled away from the hug. “I’m sorry, Uncle. I should never have gotten mad or yelled at you when you offered to take me in. I didn’t mean what I said. But I was too embarrassed to admit it, so I just stayed away. I know I hurt you, but I hope--”

His uncle pulled him into another hug. “Zuko, please. You know I would never be mad at you. I love you.” Zuko was glad for the hug, at least it hid his tears. He’d stayed away from his Uncle for over a month after he had lost his temper. If he’d known he would be forgiven this easily, he never would’ve avoided him so long.

“Uncle, if--if your offer still stands--”

“Of course it still stands.” Iroh had never had confidence in Ozai’s parenting style, but it hadn’t been until last month that he had seen the burns on Zuko’s arms and offered a new home to his nephew.

“I want to--I want to move in with you,” he’d never admitted it before, not even on the ride over. The words conjured images of sleeping without jumping at every footstep, at eating dinner every night, of hugs and kind words--images that were so nice that he  _ couldn’t  _ let himself dwell on them. Dreams were just disappointments. “But you have to help me get Azula to come with. I can’t--I can’t leave her.”

“Zuko, you know I want to help your sister. But she’s been turned by Ozai, she’s not--”

“Uncle, stop it. She might be loyal to father, but she’s just as scared as me. I’m sure of it. I won’t come to live with you without her, I’m not leaving her in danger.” Every ache in his body reminded him of what he wouldn’t let Azula suffer through.

“Okay. Why--what has caused your change of heart?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said for a while. That we all make our own choices.” Then Zuko gave a humorless laugh, “Plus, he’ll kill me himself if I mess up again.”

“Nephew, has he--?”    
  


“No,” Zuko lied. He knew his Uncle was asking if he’d been hurt again, which was his cue to leave--he wouldn’t be able to keep up the lie. “Uncle, I have to go--my friend is waiting for me--but we’ll talk soon, okay? Thank you, for everything. And, again, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s forgiven and forgotten, nephew, but please have your friend come inside. We can have tea and you can catch me up on everything I’ve missed these past few weeks.”

~~~

Sokka was bopping to music, texting Katara about how he was worried about Zuko, and nearly jumped out of his seat when the passenger door opened. 

He turned down the music, “You’re back. How’d it go?”

Zuko still had his hood up and his hair covering his scar, but he looked lighter. “Good. But--well--I guess I should explain, I went to see my uncle. He owns this tea shop. And we got in a fight a few weeks ago, which is why I hadn’t seen him and I couldn’t just call him. That’s why I needed a ride. But we’re fine now and he wants me to stay for tea, so you’re invited to tea and  _ please _ say no so that I don’t have to--”

“Tea with your uncle? Sounds awesome!”

~~~

Zuko wasn’t sure if he was glad that Iroh and Sokka were getting along so well or annoyed. He’d spoken barely twenty words and they were already on their third pot of tea. He shook his head at the pair’s antics and Iroh gasped. Realizing his mistake, Zuko brushed his bangs back over his eye, but the damage was done--Iroh had seen his bruises.

“Zuko--” Seeing Sokka’s confused face, Zuko rose and walked to the kitchen. He could at least keep his friend out of this.

“Just give us a moment, Sokka.” Iroh said, following his nephew.

“Can I see it?”

Zuko scowled, but moved his bangs so Iroh could see his black eye. Iroh took a step forward, but Zuko backed up quickly, and Iroh stopped. Zuko knew he didn’t need to fear his uncle, but his reflexes had kicked in first and he wasn’t going to admit it. 

“Zuko--”

“You can’t tell anyone. Not until we get Azula out.”

_ Who am I against him? _

“Where else has he hurt you?” Zuko flinched at his uncle’s voice. Seeing this, Iroh softened his tone, “I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at Ozai. Where?”

“No where,” he lied, even as his body pulsed with pain.

_ Why would he let me win? _

“Where else did he hurt you?” A part of him ached to pull up his sleeves and show the burns that criss crossed with old scars. But he knew Uncle would never let him leave if he did.

“Please, Uncle.”

This was all the confirmation Iroh needed. “He should be in jail,” Iroh growled.

Taking a breath, Zuko forced his voice to be even. “Uncle, even if this was enough to get him arrested, he would get out of it. He’d be back for me and Azula.”

_ Why would he let her go? _

“I can’t let you stay with him. We’ll keep trying to convince Azula, but you have to--”

_ Who am I to think that he wouldn’t deceive me just to make me leave alone? _

“No.” He wasn't leaving his sister. He knew what it was like to be left behind. He wouldn't do that to his baby sister, even if it was the only thing he could do for her.

“Zuko, I love you too much to--”

“I’m going back there. You can’t force me to live with you. You can help me or not, but you can’t make me abandon Azula.”

Iroh forced himself to nod. “Let me see where he hurt you. If he burned you again, I can help.”

“I’m fine, Uncle.” Zuko moved around the counter to be closer to the door. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Zuko, please.”

_ I used to see the way the world could be / But now the way it is is all I see _

Zuko ignored his uncle and strode out into the shop. Iroh wanted to follow--to help somehow--but more than concern and sadness and worry, he found anger overwhelming his emotions. He couldn’t dare to follow Zuko and while he was filled with rage.

Zuko walked over to Sokka, “Ready to go?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all: The *** section summary: Azula was very drunk and in the bathroom. Zuko covers for her by telling Ozai that he had lied about getting student of the quarter awards which leads to Ozai being very violent (and ends with some bullshit about how Ozai doesn't want to do this, but Zuko's making him). 
> 
> Second of all: I'm sorry. I really tried to give you some fluff in the beginning, but the attempt was pretty lame. (At least I mentioned Six for any musical theatre nerds, if anyone wants to scream about K Howard or the super amazing scene I deleted with Zuko singing the whole song in Sokka's lap, lmk). The drunk conversation was based on a drunk convo with my friend (who is reading this fic) and 100% included for bullying purposes <3\. But Zuko protecting Azula?? Ugh, he's such an amazing older brother and Ozai needs to burn in hell immediately. (Speaking of burning, if you ask I will tell you what Ozai's burning Zuko with). I'm extra stressed about this chapter cause I probably should've deleted it but I got too attached to the Zuko and Azula conversation to delete it, so let me know what you think. 
> 
> Also, I'm going to try to keep my promise of a Friday chapter. But I was so excited about the angst in this chapter (and also those song lyrics in the Iroh part) that I forgot about the fact that the next chapter makes no sense in the outline. Hopefully I'll fix that in four days, but if it's not up on Friday I'm probably still alive and just slow
> 
> I'm supposed to get snow soon so if you comment, maybe you'll get some too? That's definitely how snow works, right?


	10. zuko hides his bruises and sokka needs to learn his lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko needs an excuse for his bruises, there's another nice teacher concerned about his well-being, and he spends a bit of time with Sokka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas if you celebrate and Happy Friday if you don't! (Yes *technically* it's not Christmas in my timezone anymore, but I essentially live on West Coast time and therefore it is still Christmas for another half an hour)
> 
> I'm going to be honest I don't love this chapter, but since I didn't get a chapter out last Friday (whoops), I really really wanted to complete a Christmas Update. I hope you like it more than I do
> 
> CW: Ableism, referenced child abuse/bruises 
> 
> Sending you extra love this week because the holiday season can be really painful for a lot of reasons and 2020 hasn't made it any easier

Zuko was tired. He knew that it was more than that--he was battered and bruised and burnt--but he could tune out the pain, he was used to tuning out pain. He was used to being tired too, but this was next level. This was the tiredness of staying up late on work--half of which he didn’t understand--the tiredness of nightmares, fear, pain, the effort it took to tune out said pain, and sadness all combined. 

He leaned against the window as Azula drove them to school, the cool glass feeling good against his forehead. 

“What’s your story for the bruises?”

“I’ll keep my hood up,” he’d done it before, why did Azula care?

“You have friends now. You might’ve been able to avoid Mak by hiding in your hoodie, but I don’t trust that Aang kid not to yank your hoodie down the second he sees you moping.”

“Great. I’ll tell them dad hit--” Azula stopped at the stop sign more abruptly than strictly necessary.

“This isn’t a joke Zuko. They’re already suspicious about your little comments, like having mom around to protect you--”

“You’re the one who said that--!”

“--so you need a believable story if you don’t want to piss dad off.”

“Clearly you’ve thought a lot about it, so what story did you come up with?” He didn’t have the energy to deal with her bullshit.

“You fell down the stairs cause you’re not used to the walking-and-texting thing,” Azula said while looking over her shoulder to parallel park.

“I fell down the stairs and hit my _eye_?”

“If anyone gives you too much shit just say I punched you but you were too embarrassed to say.” Azula inched the car forward a touch and put it into park.

“Whatever, it’s not like anyone’s going to look under my hood anyway,” Zuko pushed open the car door.

“Hey idiot,” Zuko leaned back into the car, annoyed but lacking the energy to raise his eyebrows at her, “maybe practice so you sound believable. U-U-un-unless y-y-you l-l-like s-sounding l-like--”

“I don’t sound like that!” Zuko shouted before slamming the car door. He stammered when he lied, but he didn’t stutter anymore. Father hadn’t allowed that.

He could vaguely hear Azula getting out of the car herself, but he didn’t stop his stomping towards the school. True to his word, he kept his hood up and his head down.

~~~

The problem with keeping his face hidden, as Zuko knew, was that his hood muffled what little he could hear out of his left ear to begin with. In most classes this was fine, because he would sit in the back left corner where his right ear was primed to pick up as much sound as possible (he would still miss some information, but not much). In math, however, their seats had been assigned. He’d been grateful to still be in the back corner (where he was far from the teacher and he could survey his classmates), but it was the _right_ corner. Which not only meant he had to angle his head to see the board, but it meant his good ear was angled towards the corner. 

Of course, today that meant he was trying to copy notes and listen to a lecture on a new topic with one eye and an ear that was angled away from the teacher and also muffled by fabric.

He was so intently trying to figure out what the hell was happening with the chain rule q, that he didn’t notice when his name was called. He didn’t realize until people started turning around to look at him.

He made eye contact with the teacher, who looked expectant. “I-I’m sorry, what did you ask?”

She repeated herself, but Zuko had no idea what the question even meant, let alone how to go about answering it. 

“I-I don’t know,” he admitted. 

She said something--hopefully moving onto another student--but he didn’t hear it. A moment passed and she was still staring at him.

“I-I’m sorry, what did you say?” he asked. 

He wondered if anyone was laughing, but he didn’t dare take his eye off the teacher to look. She prompted him to start the problem with a specific method and asked what result he’d obtain. 

Resisting the urge to shout _Call on someone else!_ He stammered out an answer and the teacher nodded encouragingly. “Then what would you do next?”

He surveyed the problem for a panicked moment--hoping that he would come up with some sort of guess--before he admitted, “I’m not sure.”

Finally-- _finally_ \--the teacher took pity on him and said, “Would anyone else like to help Zuko?”

Unfortunately, the girl who raised her hand was a notoriously quiet speaker. Zuko leaned as far as he could in her direction, but didn't hear anything more than a faint murmuring.

“Does that make sense, Zuko?” 

“I--I couldn’t hear.” He wished he could be absorbed into the wall and just disappear.

“Why don’t you take off your hood so it’s easier to hear?” Lacking a valid argument, Zuko slowly lowered his hood, hoping that his bangs covered the worst of his bruising. No one gasped or questioned him, so he assumed it worked.

The girl, at the teacher’s prompting, repeated herself. Once again, Zuko couldn’t hear her. The teacher seemed about to call on Zuko again when a voice so loud he certainly _could_ hear it, asked “Mrs. Shwartz, can you repeat what she said? I can’t hear her either.” Zuko couldn’t help but smile, fairly certain that Sokka had heard, but asked for his benefit. 

Not only did the teacher repeat the information, but with her attention diverted she asked Sokka to finish the problem (which he did effortlessly and much louder than necessary). 

Zuko was still trying to understand Sokka’s method to find the solution when Mrs. Shwartz called on him to solve the next problem. He remembered the two steps, but then was forced to admit he didn’t know what came next. 

He was understanding the first part of the explanation, but then the teacher moved further away to gesture at the board and he couldn’t quite tell what was being said.

The teacher turned back to him and he shook his head, but she kept her gaze steady. “I--I don’t know.”

She frowned, but instead of pursuing it, she called on someone else. He went unbothered the rest of the class period, except for his futile attempts to keep up with the lesson. His only solace was knowing Sokka would help him later. 

He was packing up his things when he noticed his voice being called over the bustle of students. It was Sokka, but when he headed over he realized that Sokka had just raised his voice to help the teacher be heard.

“I wanted to talk to you for a minute, Zuko,” she said, “Can you come by the office after school?”

Zuko nodded, again wishing he could disappear. As he left the room, he was glad to finally pull his hood back over his head.

~~~

As soon as his final class period ended, he dragged himself to the math office. 

He forced himself up to the teacher’s desk. “Hi, you wanted to talk to me?”

“Hi Zuko. How are you?”

“Fine, how are you?”

“Good,” she finished typing something into her computer and turned to face him completely. “Are you having trouble hearing in class?”

He blushed, not wanting to admit to his weakness, but not having any other excuse that wouldn’t make him look like he was just stupid or ignoring the lecture. “I, uh, can’t hear much out of my left ear. But Sokka’s helping me outside of class so it’s not--”

“Zuko, if you have hearing issues you should be sitting in the front of the class.”

Zuko never sat in the front of the class--he didn’t like having his back to his classmates--but in this case, it wasn’t even his fault. “Well, there were assigned seats.”

“I gave everyone sheets in the beginning of the year to fill out if they needed specific accommodations. Hearing problems definitely qualifies.” Shame and embarrassment broiled up inside. He didn’t want to have any accommodations and he certainly didn’t want to make the teacher change the seating chart.

“It’s really not that big a deal, I can manage it.”

“Just because you _can_ manage something, doesn’t mean you should.” The teacher sighed. “I don’t mean to pry, but do you struggle to see out of your left eye as well?”

Zuko didn’t think his failures had been so obvious, but clearly he hadn’t been compensating for them enough. “I’m fine,” he said, not quite snapping, but not as calmly as would be considered polite.

Instead of being offended, The teacher gave him a smile. “It’s not weak to need help. I’ve wanted to talk to you ever since the last test, you tested much better on the retake despite it being nearly identical to the original. I thought it might be helpful for you to take tests in the testing center more often, where the stress level isn’t so high.”

“What do you mean? The second version was way easier than the first.”

“I made an exception on my retake policy because Sokka made such a strong case for you, but I certainly don’t give you an easier version. Usually students find the version in the testing center to be harder.”

Zuko stared at her silently for a moment, too stunned to speak. “But it was exactly like the review sheet.”

“So was the in-class version. I usually change the wording more, but you’ll find the review sheets I provide are quite helpful. I want my students to succeed.”

Was it possible that the first version had only been so difficult because of stress? He shook his head, it didn’t matter. “I don’t need any special accommodations.” He wasn’t weak and besides, it wasn’t like he was going to get accomodations in other classes so he didn’t want to get used to anything unusual. 

“There’s nothing wrong with needing accommodations. I’m going to move your desk in class to the front, near Sokka. That way you can ask him any questions you have and hopefully hear me better. If you don’t want to take the tests separately you don’t have to, but I can’t allow you to retake tests in the future and it seems like taking the test separately helped with your anxiety.”

“I don’t have anxiety,” Zuko snapped. 

The teacher raised her eyebrows. “So what happened the first time you took the test?”

“I--I mean I _was_ anxious, but that doesn’t mean I _have_ anxiety. Seriously, I’m fine.”

“Zuko, I’m trying to help--” Zuko resisted the urge to tell her he didn’t need any help-- “and that’s a lot easier if you’ll work with me.”

He took a deep breath. “Moving desks would be helpful, but I don’t need to take tests separately.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Now, Zuko, my concern is that you aren’t advocating for yourself. If you have a hearing problem the nurse should know about it and your other teachers should be aware of it too.”

Zuko wouldn’t yell at a teacher for being concerned. That was kindness on her part and not something that deserved getting yelled at for. “I appreciate your concern,” he gritted out carefully, “but I have the situation under control.”

“Are you sure? I’d be happy to email other teachers for you, you wouldn’t have to worry about a thing.”

“I’m sure, thank you. Is there anything else? I need to go to rehearsal.” Which wasn’t strictly true, considering the fact that there was still another fifteen minutes until rehearsal started (and Mx. Mak wouldn’t mind if he was late), but he just wanted _out_.

“I just wanted to ask what happened to your eye?” Instinctually his eyes widened as he remembered the night four years ago, but he shook himself out of it as she clarified, “I mean, the bruises?”

Zuko looked down at his feet. “Oh. It’s, uh, embarrassing. I--I fell down the stairs.” 

She smiled. “So you’re not getting into any fights?”

“No, of course not.” This, at least, was true. He hadn’t been fighting no, he was just getting beaten up. 

~~~

Zuko got to the music room fifteen minutes before rehearsal. Aang and Suki were already sitting, so he put his bag down--surprised at how natural it felt to join them. 

“Zuko, could you come into my office?” 

Zuko liked Mx. Mak. He liked them a lot. But they were still a teacher and he had _just_ come from talking with a teacher and he really did not want to talk to another one. But obviously he wasn’t going to say that, so he just nodded and followed them into their office. He focused on the pink flamingos on their shirt as he walked across the room, trying not to worry over the fact he was talking to another adult.

“You’re hiding under your hood,” they said as soon as he was settled on their yellow couch. 

He blushed. It was just like Mak to get straight to the problem--although thankfully they didn’t quite understand how dire the problem was. He pushed back his hood and bangs with a sigh. “Uh, I fell down the stairs and, um, I didn’t want to explain that to everyone.” He let his bangs fall back in front of his eye, it wasn’t like he could see much anyway.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah!” _No, not even a little._ “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, I talked to Mrs. Shwartz at lunch today and she was concerned about you.”

Zuko resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. Teachers were gossiping about him? Great, just great. “I just talked with her. She’s moving my seat in class so I can hear better.”

Zuko expected this to garner a smile--Mak was always encouraging self-advocacy--but instead they crossed their arms. “So you are having hearing problems?”

“It’s not a big--”

“Zuko, I’ve taught you for the last _four_ years and directed you for even longer. You never thought to mention that you were having trouble?”

He was comfortable with Mx. Mak--not to mention too exhausted to maintain any sort of composure--and the words came pouring out. “It’s embarrassing! I’m weak and it’s _my_ fault and I don’t like talking about it.”

Mx. Mak clucked their tongue. “Well that’s ridiculous. What happened wasn’t your fault and hearing loss isn’t a weakness.” 

Zuko scoffed. Because no matter what story Azula and his father had concocted, it wasn’t an accident. And even if it had been, it wouldn’t change the fact he was weak.

They frowned, pity tangible in their features. “Zuko--”

“Don’t look at me like that!”

“Then don’t call yourself weak,” they said simply. 

“But I _am_! I can’t see or hear as well as the average person, that’s a weakness!”

“Do you think Toph Beifong is weak?”

“What? That’s different!”

“Why?”

“Because she’s _always_ been blind, her hearing is stronger and--”

“What about Teo? He’s in a wheelchair. Do you think he’s weak? Do you judge him for having accommodations?”  
  


“Of course not!”

“The only difference between Toph, Teo, and yourself is that Toph and Teo are getting the help they need.”

“I don’t need any help,” he insisted. “I’ve made it to senior year just fine.”

“Just because you can survive without something doesn’t mean you _should_. Help isn’t a limited resource Zuko, you’re not hurting anyone by accepting the accommodations you need.”

“Can I say I’ll think about it?”

Mx. Mak sighed. “You know, that’s the same answer I got from your sister recently.”

Maybe that was a sign that it was the wrong answer, but Zuko wasn’t willing to say yes and he didn’t think Mak would accept a no. 

“How are you?” Mak asked.

“What?”

“Other than not telling your teachers about your needs and falling down stairs, how have you been doing?”

“Oh. Uh, fine. How are you?”

Mak raised an eyebrow. “I want more info than that, Zuko, and you know that.”

“Isn’t rehearsal supposed to start soon?”

“Then you better start sharing so I don’t have to tell everyone you held me up.”

He knew they were joking, but still--better safe than sorry. “I’m fine. Tired mostly, still struggling with math, but you’ve probably noticed I’ve made some friends and that’s been really great. Sokka’s helping with math, but also he’s just a really nice friend.” 

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Mak smiled and Zuko couldn’t help but smile back. “I’m really glad you’re making friends. They’re really good kids and you deserve some nice friends. I hope you can give yourself a bit of a break from work because you’re probably so tired from working too hard.” Zuko did his best to smile in thanks for the advice. “Alright, I need a minute or two to get organized before rehearsal officially starts, but you don’t have to stay in here if you don’t want to. You’re welcome to, but you can leave if you’d like.”

“Thanks, Mx. Mak.”

“Anytime, Zuko.”

He left their office, feeling utterly _invisible_. No matter how much Mx. Mak cared, no matter how often they could disarm his walls with a look, they still couldn’t see what was right in front of them. Maybe they just didn’t want to.

He knew it was good, that Mak being concerned about the bruises or anything else in his life would just cause problems.

But _Agni_ , was it so selfish to wish that once--just once--someone would _see_ him as he truly was? 

~~~

Zuko’s wish came true when his friends saw the bruise on his face and he immediately returned to his regular wish: to be invisible. 

He had stupidly left his hood down when he left Mak’s office so when he sat down, every one of his friends (except Toph) was staring at him.

“Hey, Zuko, how’d you get those bruises on your face?” Sokka asked, his phrasing explicit so that Toph would understand what was happening. 

“Oh, it’s dumb. I just, uh, fell down the stairs. Not used to the whole, um, walking and texting thing.”

“Those are some pretty nasty bruises to get from falling down the stairs,” Katara said, frowning. 

Zuko shrugged, resisting the urge to defend his lie.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Aang said brightly. 

Any further discussion--which Sokka and Katara especially seemed inclined to worry--was cut off by Mak exiting their office. “Alright, we need to focus because it’s only two weeks until tech week. Isn’t that crazy? Time flies and I know three weeks until the performances feels like a lot, but it’s going to be here like that,” they snapped. “Now memorization is mostly lyrics for this show, which most find easier. So I want to hear how everyone’s doing? And be honest, please, the off-book date isn’t until Friday so it’s not like I expect you to have it all down yet.”

Everyone said they were mostly memorized, except for Zuko and Sokka. Zuko because he already had the entire show memorized (the perks of being a diehard fan) and Sokka because he was struggling with his larger chunks of text, or so he said.

When rehearsal ended, however, Sokka and Zuko headed off to study together. Sokka admitted he was having trouble focusing. “It’s just--I’m the plan guy, right? So I make these study schedules and they’re really detailed and I always make sure to plan time for learning lines but. . . I always end up with an excuse not to. Or I sit down to do it and I just get distracted. I pick up my phone or I just stare into space thinking about something else or--”

“Sokka, you need to take your own advice.”

“What?”

“You need to relax. The reason I’m already memorized is because I just listened to the songs a lot. I wasn’t trying to learn them, I just liked them. If you listen to the music, while you’re studying, while you’re driving, whatever, I bet you’ll learn the lyrics in no time.”

“That’s--" Sokka paused, considering-- "that’s actually really smart.”

“Don’t sound so surprised.”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that--!”

Zuko laughed. “I was kidding, buddy.” 

“Would you mind if we tried it out right now? Just driving around listening to the soundtrack before we start math?”

“It’s almost five and the soundtrack is--”

“I was thinking, if you don’t mind, we could FaceTime to do math.”

Zuko frowned, thinking of the amount of work he had to do and how tired he was. But the prospect of driving around singing with Sokka was too tempting. “I have too much work to FaceTime tonight, but what if we do math and then, once we finish, we drive around for the time we have left?”

“I like the way you think.”

~~~

Zuko had never understood Eurydice’s quick change in perspective from thinking Orpheus was crazy to being interested in what else he had to say in _Come Home With Me_. But staring at Sokka from the passenger seat--and trying to sing both Eurydice and Orpheus’ parts along with Sokka’s Hermes--he thought he finally understood.

Before he hadn’t believed that a boy could make you feel alive--as Hermes claimed--but now he knew it was true. He felt almost blissful in the happiness that overwhelmed all his aches and pains. With just one beautiful smile, Sokka could make him feel alive. And Eurydice was right, that was “worth a lot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish that teachers actually paid close attention to students, most teachers wait for students to reach out to them before they'll try to help. But there are the rare teachers like the ones in this chapter and also I just wanted to write about Zuko having trouble hearing in class which somehow snowballed into needing his seat to be moved. 
> 
> Next week will be Aang Gender Reveal--meaning that it will either include scenes where Aang discusses being nonbinary OR it won't include those scenes and this fic won't include nonbinary Aang. (I still really want to include it, but I might not be ready to delve into gender in writing,, I chose enby Aang cause I relate so much to him, but I'm not sure I'm ready to write something I relate to sm. We'll see). I'm also pretty sure that we're getting a really cute Sokka Compliments Zuko scene (not positive cause my outline is still a mess with the random pre-written scenes shoved in there) so look forward to that :)
> 
> As always, please let me know if there were any mistakes or errors in the chapter. I definitely should've reread at least once but I'm tired and my friend keeps insisting I'm supposed to go to sleep at night so I'm going to try that out for once. 
> 
> If you comment, there's a decent chance that a present that got lost in the mail will finally arrive for you!


	11. aang is nonbinary and zuko gets a new seat in math class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who cares about what zuko's doing ENBY AANG ENBY AANG ENBY AANG  
> but yeah, zuko moves next to sokka in math and like talks to iroh or whatever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay we're speed writing this author's note so we can post on technically-friday-on-the-west-coast-even-tho-i'm-not-even-technically-on-the-west-coast (this is officially being posted at 3:08 on saturday aka 12:08 west coast so i failed)
> 
> also this chapter is dedicated to all my commenters. those of you who say silly things, those of you who respectfully point out my mistakes, those of you who relate, those of you who look forward to fridays, etc--this is for you <3
> 
> also! i chose aang as my enby character cause in canon aang is gnc, but i would like it to be very clear that men can be feminine and gnc and still be very valid men! i just love aang and wanted this little ray of sunshine to share my gender, so this hc is canon in this fic
> 
> cw: gender dysphoria 
> 
> i can't think of any other cw's for this chapter?? let me know if i missed any thank you (and i probably missed some typos so let me know on those too)
> 
> anyway, please enjoy enby aang on this DEFINITELY friday night <3 xoxo

Zuko was once again letting the cold car window soothe his headache--not that it really helped, but it was better than nothing--while Azula drove him to school. This time, however, he had a goal for the conversation. “Zula?”

“What, Zuzu?”

“Do you want to come see Uncle with me after school?”

“Oh, you read my mind! I was dying to ditch my friends to go hang out with a sexist, old man who loves tea and proverbs.” Azula turned into the school parking lot.

“Come on, Azula, you haven’t talked to Uncle in years. Give him a chance--”

“I haven’t talked to him because father doesn’t want us fraternizing with people who are openly against Sozin Industries. Maybe you should reconsider--”

“Uncle doesn’t give a damn about dad’s illegal dealings. But we want to--”

Azula put the car into park and threw open the car door. “Seriously, Azula, will you listen to me?”   
  


Azula grabbed her backpack from the backseat. “See you later, Zuzu.”

Zuko didn’t bother trying to catch up to her, instead using the walk from the car into the school to calm his frustration with his sister. 

He had been sure to arrive extra early to math so that he at least wouldn’t find someone else sitting in his new desk. He sat hesitantly down at the desk next to Sokka’s (who wasn’t there yet) and when Mrs. Shwartz caught his eye, she smiled encouragingly and nodded. 

“Remember you can ask me to repeat myself at any time,” she reminded him. 

Zuko nodded. Then he took out his notes, scrolling on his phone as he tried to ignore how much he didn’t like having students out of his line of sight. 

“Uh, this is my desk,” some surly guy--Zuko had never noticed how tall and  _ wide _ the guy was until he was standing over Zuko--said.

“Sorry, Mr. Chan, you’ll actually be moving to the back,” Mrs. Shwartz interrupted, pointing to Zuko’s old seat. The kid spared one final glare for Zuko, before making his way out of Zuko’s line of sight. Perfect for sneaking up on him, should he decide he want revenge on Zuko for stealing his seat.

At 7:59, Sokka raced into the classroom and raised his eyebrows at his new desk neighbor. “Sokka, I hope I can trust you to help Zuko out and not distract him?”

“Yes, of course, Mrs. Shwartz,” Sokka replied, with a gleam in his eyes that told Zuko he planned on doing a bit of both. 

~~~

Sokka wasn’t sure how he felt about having Zuko next to him in class. Well okay, that wasn’t true. He liked being with his friend (obviously) and was happy to help him with any math problems or repeat anything he hadn’t heard. Already, the boys had worked out a system of passing notes that was about 60% math-related and 40% jokes, and class was 100% more fun than it had been.

The issue was, Sokka was distracted. Now this was pretty much Sokka’s default state, given how he was constantly fidgeting and daydreaming, not to mention his penchant for multitasking. But this was a different kind of distraction. He was distracted trying to impress Zuko with witty banter and trying to suppress his laughs at Zuko’s dumb (but surprisingly clever) jokes. And, worst of all, he could not stop staring at Zuko. Normally, Zuko kept his left side facing away from Sokka (normally by angling it towards a wall or keeping next to Toph). In math class, Sokka had forty minutes to stare at his friend's amber eye, barely visible through the slit of his eyelid, and the rough red skin that went from his eye to his ear. He had the urge to reach out and touch the skin--to take some of that moisturizer Katara always carried around and gently work it into Zuko’s skin--and he wondered what could’ve possibly caused the injury. He thought it was terrible that Zuko had clearly suffered, but at the same time, he couldn’t help the petty part of him that was jealous of how badass it looked.

Zuko was talking to him. Zuko was talking and he was so busy staring at his friend’s scarred skin that he hadn’t heard him. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I was saying I don’t feel prepared for tomorrow’s mini-quiz, I think we need to study more. Do you have rehearsal today?”

“Yeah, do you not?” The bell rang, announcing that their time to start homework was over and it was time to pack up.

“No, I was planning to go see Uncle, but I’ll just stay--”

“No, dude. Go to your uncle’s, I can meet you there. The Jasmine Dragon, right?” Sokka finished zipping up his backpack and stood while Zuko finished storing his books.

Zuko zipped his bag and the boys followed the stream of people out into the busy hallway. “Yeah. Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“It’s not a problem.”

“Could you drive me home afterwards? It’s better if my dad doesn’t know I’m seeing Uncle.”

“Sure.” Before Sokka could ask any questions--or consider whether that’d be too rude--the busy hallway swept Zuko away. 

~~~

As rehearsal ended, Suki’s hand found Aang’s with a squeeze. “Can we go for a drive? If I don’t talk to someone I think I’m going to commit a murder.”

Aang beamed. “I actually wanted to talk to you anyway. And preventing murders is my speciality.” 

Suki put on a road trip jams playlist and turned out of the parking lot. “It’s Azula. I just--she’s--AGH!” She took a breath before continuing. “I don’t think anyone has ever pissed me off as much as Azula does, not even Sexist Sokka. Mai and Ty Lee  _ want _ to hang out with me--and I know I’m not making that up because they seek me out in classes when they don’t have to--but for whatever reason, Azula’s determined to keep them to herself. And I can’t tell Mai and Ty Lee to drop her because then it’ll seem like _ I’m _ jealous, but I just think she’s a toxic person for them to be around! It’s never a good sign when someone’s trying to control who you can and can’t be friends with, right?”

“You’re right, Suki, but you have to wait for them to figure it out on their own. Patience is difficult, but it’s what Mai and Ty Lee need from you right now.”

“Is it? I feel like the longer they spend with Azula the more they’ll lose touch with themselves. They deserve people who  _ appreciate  _ them, not insult and control them!”

“Do you want to appreciate them or date them?”

“Well--I--How is that relevant?” Suki demanded.

Aang burst out laughing. “I guess it’s not, but I just wanted to prove Toph wrong. She thought you only liked Ty Lee, I said you liked them both.”

“You’re talking about my love life?”

“ _ You _ don’t get to be offended when you do the same thing about mine.”

Suki smirked. “So you admit you have a crush on Katara?”

“I didn’t say anything of the sort,” Aang hedged, although both were aware he had not denied Suki’s statement. 

“Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I know I have to give them time and space, but it just really sucks, y’know?”

“Yeah, it does.”

“What did you want to talk about?”

Aang sighed. “I have a weird question. And just--just answer it okay? I’ll explain after, alright?”

“Alriight,” Suki said hesitantly, taking a random turn left.

“What do you think when someone uses they/them pronouns?”

Suki shot Aang a look. She definitely didn’t peg him--Mr. Love-Everybody-As-They-Are--as transphobic, especially considering his undying support for Katara. Given the nervous look on his face she doubted that he was about to admit to secretly judging nonbinary people, but still--it was a weird question. “I don’t know, Aang. I just think that’s their pronouns. Like good for them, I guess? I don’t have a problem with it and I respect--”

“So you don’t think they/them pronouns are, like,  _ cool _ ?”

“I mean, not particularly. They’re just another set of pronouns. Why?”

“Well, I’ve always thought that they/them pronouns were just, like, really cool and I used to think it was just because I admired how they were outside the gender binary and, like, more intune with nature and everything. But I guess, maybe, I’m realizing I thought it was a cool pronoun because I was jealous?” Aang paused to look nervously at his twiddling thumbs.

“So maybe you should try they/them pronouns out. See how they fit you. Then you don’t have to be jealous.”

“You don’t think that’d be weird? I’m probably just jumping on the trend or--”

Suki was glad she was at a red light so she could make eye contact with Aang. “I’ve never once thought about using a different pronoun because I know I’m cis. If you’re interested in they/them pronouns, that probably means something. But you don’t have to commit. You can be they/them today and he/him tomorrow and she/her the next day and you can use neopronouns the day after that.” Suki put her eyes back on the road as the light turned green, but kept talking. “I--and Katara and Sokka and Toph and Zuko and Gyatso-- _ we _ love  _ you _ . Whatever gender you are, we love you for you.”

“I just--I’ve always thought the soul was genderless, but then between you and Katara I realized how much being a girl could be a part of your identity. And Sokka’s always proud to be a man--and you said he used to be afraid of feminine things because of it. And I don’t know, I guess the more I’ve been thinking about it, the more I realize that I just don’t feel that strong a connection to either gender. I mean, I definitely prefer he/him pronouns to she/her, but maybe . . . maybe trying out they/them would be nice.”

“I think that’s a great idea Aang. You can see how it feels, if it fits or not.”

“Sorry for being so serious.”

“You don’t have to be all sunshine and rainbows all the time, Aang. You need support too and that’s what friends are for.”

“Yeah, I know.” Aang let the silence hang for a few moments, obviously uncomfortable with their vulnerability. Then they smiled. “You know how Katara talks about getting top surgery one day and everything? Well, honestly, I think my ideal body type is a Ken doll. No boobs, no genitals, and--most importantly--a six pack.”

Suki began to laugh and glanced over at Aang to see them smirking at her. It was a good joke, but the warmth she felt in her chest wasn’t really from laughing--she was just proud of her friend for exploring their gender.

~~~

Zuko was glad that he didn’t recognize the cashier working because Song’s pointed looks had more than worked in their intended goal of making him feel guilty. This time, Iroh was waiting for him at the Pai Sho table. 

“I thought you wanted to hear about what you missed,” he groaned, settling into the seat across from his uncle.

“I do. But what better way for souls to connect than over a battle of wits?”

“You know I hate Pai Sho.”

“You only hate it when you lose, nephew.”

“I always lose.” Iroh smiled pointedly. “Oh.”

They played for a bit, exchanging small talk. Zuko filled Iroh in on Hadestown, Sokka, his new friend group, his grades, and Iroh shared the few anecdotes he had from the successful month the tea shop had had.

“So, Zuko, are you really here just to play Pai Sho and fill an old man in on what you’ve been doing for the past month? Because I find the young bird hardly touches the ground, unless it sees a worm.”

“I really did miss you,” Zuko insisted, because it was true, but then he exhaled, steadying himself. “But I did want to talk to you--about Ozai. Do you think it would be possible he would willingly give up guardianship? Or at least put you as guardian in his will?”

“I was the guardian in his will up until I left the company, then he filed to have Zhao changed to be--”

“You’re saying if Ozai died or was thrown in jail, Azula and I would end up with  _ Zhao _ ?”

“Very briefly, I’m sure, but yes. From there, I would work with him to get you transferred to my care and--”

“How are Azula and I supposed to get out if Ozai won’t give you custody?”

“This is where my request comes back in. I feel reasonably certain I can get Ozai to transfer custody of you--”

“I’m not leaving Azula. That’s not up for debate.”

“Then, unfortunately, we just have to wait. I left the company with a fair share of dirt on my brother, but not enough to get him to give up control on both his children. I still have some connections, a few people who owe me favors, but these things take time.”

“Could the information you have get Azula out?”

“I don’t think so and it’s too much of a risk to try. Ozai would know our goal and that would put him on the offensive. We just have to wait on my contacts.”

“Okay. Thank you, Uncle.”

“In the meantime, I will be getting in touch with your father to try to get Zhao out off the guardian list. I think it’s reasonable to ask to be an emergency contact, although Ozai probably won’t see it that way.”

“Just don’t tell him you’ve been seeing me. He doesn’t really want us communicating.” Iroh nodded. “Sokka just walked in, so I think that brings our conversation to an end. But it was lovely seeing you again, Zuko.”

Zuko stood and accepted his uncle’s hug, enjoying it more than he’d ever admit. Then, he found a table to drink hot cocoas and study with Sokka. 

~~~

“Katara?” Aang’s voice was a bit wobbly, even as they spoke into the phone. “Hey, Suki’s driving me home, but I wanted to talk to you. Do you mind if I come over?”

“Yeah, no problem. But you sound a little off, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah of course. I just had something I wanted to tell you. I’ll be there in five.”

When Suki pulled up to Katara’s house, she gave Aang a smile. “You’ve got this buddy.”

Aang let themself into Katara’s house, slipped off their shoes, and went upstairs to greet Katara. They were nervous, their stomach still flip-flopping with the realization they had made in Suki’s car. But they wanted--needed?--to share this with their best friend.

Seeming to sense how out of it they were, Katara invited Aang to sit in the blanket fort the two of them had set up the last time they had hung out. Aang hugged a fuzzy pillow fiercely. 

“Aang, tell me what’s going on.”

“Do you--do you think I could be nonbinary?” Aang asked as they began to cry. It wasn’t that they were upset about being nonbinary--although somewhere in the back of their mind a voice reminded them that pansexual and nonbinary were two identities that were pretty confusing to the general public--but more that they were overwhelmed with the change to their self-view. 

“That’s more of a question you gotta ask yourself, bud, but of course you  _ could _ be--anyone can be nonbinary.”

“I--I just--” Katara pulled them into a hug.

“Breathe, sweetie, breathe.”

“I feel like I might be nonbinary. I definitely realize I’ve always felt a little, I don’t know, weird about being a boy? But I also never hated it either, which is why I always just assumed that was how everyone felt. But I realized,” they lowered their voice for the confession, “that I’ve been kind of jealous of Mx. Mak, cause, I guess I want to try out they/them pronouns too? But I just feel scared I’m faking because I think most of the time I’ll still be exactly the same--and seem just like a boy to everyone else--so I don’t want to--”

Katara took Aang’s hand in hers. “Aang. No one just wakes up one day and decides they’re going to fake their gender, especially without knowing it. If you didn’t make the conscious decision to lie, then you’re not faking. You’re nonbinary. And, guess what? If one day you wake up and say no! I’ve been a boy this whole time or I’ve been a girl this whole time--that’s great too. You know why it doesn’t matter? Because no matter what gender you are, you’re still you. You’re still kind and funny and dorky and silly. So everytime you start to doubt yourself just remember that, okay?”

“Thanks, Katara.” They threw their arms around her. “You were so nice, you said everything I needed to hear.” They wiped away their tears. “It’s so silly that I’m crying. It’s a good thing that I figured this out. It’s just--it’s like, another thing that’s  _ different _ about me, y’know? It almost feels like it would just be easier to keep using he/him pronouns?”

“There’s nothing wrong with different,” Katara said, squeezing Aang’s hand tightly as she looked at the blue arrow on it, “and trust me. It feels really nice to have the right pronouns used for you. You’ll see. You’ll be walking around and someone will go, ‘Look at them! That’s Aang, they’re the coolest sophomore I’ve ever seen! They were such a good Orpheus and they’re a great friend and--’”

Aang smiled, “I do like hearing my pronouns, but that might just be because you’re complimenting.”

Katara rolled her eyes. “Okay, let’s try this. ‘Look at them, they’re so annoying cause they don’t realize that it’s okay to be unsure about their gender and--’”

“Katara! Katara! That actually feels--that feels  _ right _ ! Does it always feel like that? Like the warm feeling in your chest whenever someone uses your pronouns?”

“I mean, you get more used to it so you don’t freak out. But yeah, that’s what it feels like.”

“You’re right, this is worth it. Thank you.”

After pausing to see if Aang had anything else to say, Katara asked. “Have you told anyone else?”

“I talked to Suki a little bit. She helped me realize that not everyone thinks they/them pronouns are  _ super duper  _ cool. I literally only just realized.” They pulled back from the hug. “Oh my gosh, I hope you know I came to you because you’re my best friend not because you’re trans--”

“Aang, I’m glad you told me. I’m happy to help you when you decide to tell everyone else. Or if you don’t want to, that’s okay too. I know gender is weird and confusing. It’s okay for it to be fluid.”

“Yeah. I think I might just sit with it for a bit before I tell more people. But I’m not sure. I haven’t really made a plan, I just came straight here.”

“Well, that’s a great way to start. If you want to figure something more specific than nonbinary out, then let me know. Otherwise, I’ll just be here supporting my best pan enby friend.”

“You’re the best, Katara.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ENBY AANG ENBY AANG ENBY AANG ENBY AANG ENBY AANG
> 
> shoutout to everyone who wanted this chapter up by friday, i tried my best, but it is officially saturday even in the beloved west coast so i have failed. i tentatively want to say i will do better next week since part of my procrastination was because ~gender~ but also i have class starting this week so we'll see how it goes
> 
> also i basically wrote my own enby experience but just changed it slightly to fit aang, so please be kind <3 (and yes the ken doll joke works better when you're afab but i just think i'm funny and wanted aang to share my humor, okay?)
> 
> no spoilers for next week cause i completely ignored the chapter outline for this week (which was supposed to be about high school bullies and azula talking to iroh and possibly some sokka-focused narrative) but next week we'll MAYBE see aang talking to more people about their gender
> 
> anyway, nonbinary pan aang supremacy?
> 
> if you comment, you'll make my 2021 better which gets you good karma so your 2021 will be better. yes this is uncreative, but it's now 3:10 am and i put this fic ahead of my work emails so i'm kinda a mess. good night y'all, procrastinate less than me please


	12. people suck but zuko is gorgeous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka talks to Zuko about his scar, a short hurt/comfort chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this was literally supposed to go at the end of the planned chapter so sorry if the mood shift is really strange. I just don’t know when exactly I’m going to have the actual chapter ready. It’s somewhat Suki, Azula, and Iroh heavy and I have trouble writing all three of them so :/ (were also going to get more Aang gender stuff since your positive reaction really encouraged me even if I have been too busy to respond to comments to express that)   
> TWs: ableism, low self esteem  
> Also I’m posting this just before 1am from my phone so I’m sorry for any errors. I’m hoping the chapter is okay since I wrote it a long time ago and have reread it a shit ton, but who knows

Rehearsals were going well. With Sokka helping him with calculus (and providing notes on AP Bio), Zuko was able to dedicate time to memorization and was actually more memorized than most of the other actors. He and Toph still weren’t a very convincing couple--not the way Katara and Aang were--but Toph still claimed it was because he was too busy making eyes with Hermes. Speaking of Aang and Katara, Zuko and Suki were bonding over laughing at Sokka’s disgust. Now that Zuko had a phone, the three were in a group chat and Zuko’s favorite message was:  _ okay either Aang is the best actor ever or he really thinks he’s going to marry Katara. PLEASE KILL ME NOW. _ Suki had taken to pointing out whenever Aang was staring at Katara (which was pretty much constantly) but Zuko wasn’t quite that cruel. 

Well, rehearsals  _ were _ going well. Until three girls decided to gossip a little too loudly. 

“She only got the part cause she’s blind so Mx. Mak feels bad.”

“No, she got it cause she’s the only one who can’t see Zuko.”

“OMG, you’re so right. But it’s still not fair, she’s only a sophomore.”

“And she’s not even a good singer.”

“Yeah, Zuko might be deformed, but at least he can sing.”

“Yeah, plus he’s a senior—“

The trio looked up in surprise as the door slammed shut behind Zuko. Sokka was ready to follow, when Toph stood up. “What the fuck did you just say, bitches?”

This was enough to pull Mx. Mak away from what they were helping Katara and Aang with. “Toph Beifong!”

The girls giggled. Toph was not having it. “Mx. Mak, these girls were being ableist as fuck.”

“Alright, why don’t the four of you come into my office?”

~~~

“Zuko?” He wasn’t in the bathroom either. Where would he have gone?

Sokka was heading back to the music room in defeat when he saw something in the corner of the small, side hallway that led outside. “Zuko?”

The shape pulled itself into a tighter huddle. Sokka slid down the wall to sit next to him, keeping a few inches between them. “They’re just jealous, don’t listen--”

“But it’s true! Of course I’m so disgusting that no one could even pretend to be interested in me.”

Sokka meant to say something more eloquent and comforting, but what came out was, “You’re kidding right?”

“You don’t get it cause you’re attractive and funny, everyone likes you. But when you look like--”

“Zuko, look at me.” Zuko hesitantly made eye contact, his scar covered by his hair. Sokka slowly moved forward and pushed down the hood of Zuko’s hoodie. Then, even slower, he brushed the hair away from Zuko’s scar. Zuko stayed stock-still the whole time, but didn’t move away. Sokka resisted the urge to put his hands on Zuko’s cheeks, instead lowering them to his lap. He maintained intense eye contact, hoping it showed the earnesty of his words. “Zuko, whatever bullshit you’ve told yourself--whatever bullshit other people have said to you--it’s not true. You are fucking gorgeous. Your eyes are golden, your hair is beautiful, your scar is badass, and your smile--whether it’s your awkward little dorky smile or the rare times when you really laugh. Shit. Look, I’m bad at this. But I swear I mean it. I can’t believe you didn’t know. You’re so handsome it’s not fair. If those girls can’t see that, they’re blinder than Toph.”

Zuko tore his eyes away from Sokka’s, forcing his gaze down at his lap. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

Sokka grabbed Zuko’s hands without thinking about it. Zuko barely flinched. “I’m not lying.”

Zuko was crying, completely silently, but he kept his eyes locked on Sokka’s thumbs which were rubbing circles on his hands. “Thanks.”

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

Zuko shook his head. “Not even a little bit.”

Sokka smiled sadly. “You’re an idiot. A gorgeous, brainless idiot.”

Suki poked her head in, “Hey, sorry to interrupt, but Mak wants to see you, Zuko.”

“Fuck.” 

~~~

“Ms. Beifong is getting her parents involved, would you like us to inform your parents of the situation as well?”

“No!” Mx. Mak lifted their eyebrows. “No, it’s not a big deal.”

“Zuko, they’re in trouble, not you. They said some--”

“It’s fine. I don’t want to get them in trouble. Can I go now?”

Mx. Mak had known Zuko since his freshman year, so they knew pushing him wouldn’t work. “Just know you can talk to me, if you want to. Okay?”

“Thanks.” Zuko stood up, ready to dash to the door. “Is that all?”

“None of what they said was true, you do know that right? You and Toph were both chosen for talent and talent alone.” 

“Can I go?” He asked, trying to keep the pleading note from his voice (and likely failing). When they nodded, he did not run from the room, but it was pretty close. 

~~~

The next day, the three girls came up to Zuko. “I’m sorry about what we said. It wasn’t true.”

“I’m sorry you heard us.”

“We wouldn’t have said it if we knew you were nearby.”

Zuko just glared at them and they left, only the first seeming guilty. “I’m going to kill them,” Katara hissed.

“What? It’s not a big deal.”

“You’re kidding, right? What they said was  _ not _ okay.”

Zuko shrugged, “I’ve heard worse.”

“Give me names and I’ll kill them too.”

“I thought you were the nice one.”

“Yeah, I am. Just as much as Aang’s the goody-goody.”

Katara got called up to the piano and Zuko felt confused.

~~~

“Suki! Don’t encourage them!” Sokka insisted. 

“Come on, Snoozles, even Katara is on our side. They deserve it.”

“I’m not sure revenge is the best--”

“Shut up, Twinkle Toes.”

Sokka held up his hands in defeat. “Fine, sink to their level. Aang and I won’t stop you, but that doesn’t mean we approve.” After a moment, “But can we also agree to a less mean-spirited group project? Zuko doesn’t know he’s handsome. Not only that, he actively thinks he’s ugly.”

“Yeah, I’ll be sure to tell him he’s the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.”

“Thank--WHY do you have to do that every time?”

~~~

Katara told him she liked the color of his eyes, Toph said she thought he was beautiful, Suki said she liked his sweatshirt (the same one he wore everyday), Aang said they liked his hair, and Sokka got yelled at. 

“It doesn’t mean anything if you’re just telling them to compliment me!”

“I didn’t! I just mentioned you couldn’t see the truth and asked them to help me point it out. There’s a difference!”

After their argument, Sokka sent out a Zuko-compliment-calendar.

Sokka (11:39): additional compliments, although encouraged, shouldn’t focus on his looks or he’ll yell at me again 

Toph (11:40): I’m only friends with Zuko for his looks.

Sokka (11:40): img.png

Sokka (11:41): shit, sorry. it was the middle finger

Aang (11:41): [gif id: stephen colbert miming a crank to raise his middle finger /end id]

Toph (11:42): Middle finger emoji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may end up getting deleted so I can pretend that this scene only ever got published in the actual chapter it belonged in?   
> Anyway I’m sorry I disappeared, surprisingly doing a whole semester of work in three weeks is a lot especially when you’re the only freshman. I’m on campus now which makes life all kinds of exciting but let’s be real I’m not actually making friends so I’m trying really hard to get back on our weekly posting. Sorry again and hope to be back soon.


	13. azula talks to iroh and sokka and aang get some BDE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula is not happy to talk to her uncle and she is not afraid to say so. She's also still suspicious of Suki and tells Ty Lee and Mai why. Zuko is frustrated with both Azula and Iroh for their behavior, but at least Sokka is there to comfort him (sorta). Then, Aang and Sokka get ice cream (at a place that is called BDE, you'll see why) and Aang thinks about coming out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry this is so late but it is longer than usual to make up for that? it was a mix of college and a bit of writer's block, but i think it ended up okay? i hope? 
> 
> also MOST IMPORTANTLY, i got fanart??? i'm honestly still 🥺🥰🥺over this, please go give enby aang by the amazing tumblr user @everything-else-and-mars some love [here](https://everything-else-and-mars.tumblr.com/post/639806672450338816/here-is-the-bad-art-i-made-for)!!! 
> 
> CW: references to violence, self-blame/self-sacrifice, gender dysphoria, (unintentional) misgendering, as always please let me know if i missed anything!! 
> 
> as usual i'm unhappy with the amount of editing i've done (usually i try to keep the first note relatively upbeat but i figure if you've read this far you know i'm a mess) so please let me know if i missed anything major. i just wanted to get it posted cause it's 12:30 AM and i have work to do for my class in 12 hours 😳
> 
> hope y'all enjoy! i'm giving you some hugs and kisses but only virtually cause covid. xoxo

Zuko and Sokka studied at the Jasmine Dragon so often in the next few days, that the rest of the ‘gaang’ finally insisted on accompanying them. Toph immediately latched onto Iroh—mimicking the stance of Bugs Bunny and saying “Our Uncle”—and of course everyone else seemed to like him too. 

As Mx. Mak dismissed the full cast rehearsal, Suki turned to Mai and Ty Lee. “Hey, do you guys want to come to the Jasmine Dragon with us? It’s this cute little tea shop--”

“Come on girls,” Azula interrupted with a sneer, “let’s go.”

“Oh, you can come too, Azula. I’d never want to control who my friends hang out with, but I thought it might be nice for everyone to hang in a big group.”

“Please, Azula? You have to pick Zuko up from there anyway,” Ty Lee added.

Azula glared at Suki, but her comment about controlling people had done its job and she couldn’t turn down the offer without looking too possessive of her friends. “Ugh, fine, but I’m driving.”

“No worries,” Suki smiled. “My car’s already full anyway.”

~~~

Azula drummed her fingers against the steering wheel as Mai and Ty Lee awaited what they were sure was going to be a lecture. “There’s a reason I don’t like Suki. Do you know what it is?”

Mai murmured under her breath, “You don’t trust us?” but Azula couldn’t hear her.

Ty Lee asked, chipper as always, “No, why?”

“I don’t trust her. And I don’t just mean as a person--although that’s also true--but there was something familiar and just . . . _off_ about her. So, I asked my father. Turns out the name Kato wasn’t familiar just because it’s like the most-basic Japanese name, but because she’s Rangi and Kyoshi Kato’s daughter. Kyoshi involved in a lawsuit trying to prove Sozin Industries is involved in corrupt dealings, Rangi’s bodyguard company has been trying to poach Ty Lee’s mother for, like, forever.”

“So,” Mai’s voice was completely devoid of emotion, “you think Suki’s trying to befriend us for her parents’ sake?”

“I’m just reminding you to be careful. I wouldn’t want either of you getting too close to her and causing my father to get suspicious. Agni knows he’s fired people for less than fraternizing with the enemy.”

Ty Lee pouted in the passenger seat. “We can still hang out with her in the group, though, right? I just think Aang’s so fun and plus it would be kind of awkward for the show if we stopped.”

“You know I don’t want to control you, you can do whatever you want. I’d just be careful once the show ends, that’s all.”

“Thanks for warning us, Azula. You’re the best!”

“You’re always looking out for us,” Mai agreed, although Ty Lee could hear that her voice was emptier than usual.

~~~

Zuko didn’t let Azula do much more than place her bag beside Mai and Ty Lee, before he was guiding her to the back of the tea shop. Ty Lee struck up a conversation with Aang. Aang was, of course, sitting next to Katara, but she was busy scolding Toph for copying her answers on a test. (Katara wouldn’t realize her mistake until she was five minutes into her rant on why cheating, especially without the other person’s consent, was wrong). Toph was next to Suki, who was arguing with Sokka over the possibilities of a vodka powered plane. Sokka was saving a seat for Zuko, next to which Mai sat silently awaiting the Sugita siblings’ return. 

In the kitchen, Iroh smiled when his niece and nephew entered. “Azula, I’m so pleased to see you.”

Azula didn’t smile back. “I’m just here for the tea, not to talk to traitors to the company.”

“I’m not a traitor to—“ Iroh began, but he cut himself off and took a steadying breath before continuing in a less defensive tone. “I’m sorry to hear that and I hope you change your mind.” He stared more intently into her eyes when he added gently, “If not for our relationship, at least for your brother.”

Azula rolled her eyes. “Yeah, cause i’m known for doing things I don’t want to do for Zuzu’s sake.”

Zuko met her cold amber eyes pleadingly. “I know uncle isn’t your favorite person, and he doesn’t have to be, but I know dad scares you too and what if—“

“Whatever half-formed plan you have to move out? Leave me out of it. Father actually wants me around.”

Zuko’s hands balled into fists. The taunt hurt. The taunt hurt because it was true. Father didn’t want him—or wouldn’t for much longer anyway. Father didn’t waste time on fuck-ups. “‘Zula, if I leave then you’re not—“

“I’ll be fine, dumbass, Father only punishes people who deserve it.”

“No one—“ Iroh began, but Zuko spoke over him. 

“Sometimes he's just angry. And if I’m not there, then he might take it out on you.” 

“You really think I’ll be happier living with this old fool?” She gestured dramatically at Iroh, as if Zuko was going to suddenly turn to the old man and see his stained apron and long gray beard in a different light.

“Yes,” Iroh answered, ignoring the insult, “if you stayed with me, you wouldn’t have to be _perfect_ , you could just focus on learning how to be different from your father.”

“Your grades wouldn’t have to be perfect, you could stay out later with Mai and Ty Lee. Please—“

“Being perfect isn’t a problem for me,” she tossed her ponytail over her shoulder, “Just because you can’t handle dad’s standards doesn’t mean _I_ can’t. I’m perfectly happy at home. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to—“

“Just because you can handle something, doesn’t mean you should,” Iroh broke in, his voice as calm as ever despite the situation’s importance. “The flower that grows despite shade, still flourishes in sunlight.”

“I’m not a flower and I’m not leaving home. Zuzu’s welcome to--in fact, I think he should.”

“Your brother insists that he won’t leave home without you.”

Azula tore her glare from Iroh to glower at Zuko. “Why’s that? Think I can’t keep my grades up? Or that you’re somehow keeping father happy? Well, let me tell you, father would be in a much better mood without you around to disappoint him. Leave, I won’t miss you.”

Zuko pointed frustratedly at his right eye, where nearly faded bruises were still visible. “Are you really going to pretend to be clueless? To not realize that things like this happen regularly? What’s going to happen when I’m not there to cover for you, Azula?”

“ _You_ chose to do that, not me. I never asked you to do it and I certainly don’t want you to use it as a guilt trip now. And you can pretend you’re covering for me, but we both know you’re lying to yourself. You’re just lying to yourself because you don’t want to admit that daddy will never love you.”

“Azula, please--” Zuko began, but she shook her head.

“No. I’m going to join my friends because that’s all I’m here for, not whatever nonsense you are or aren’t planning.”

Azula turned and Zuko watched her leave, her high ponytail swinging with every step.

“Nephew, I think you should consider what she said--”

“ _No_ !” Zuko had been able to keep his anger under wraps when it was just Azula, but Uncle as well? “She’s _lying_ , Uncle, you can’t listen to her!”  
  


“Does it matter?” Iroh’s calm tone made Zuko’s rage boil.

“ _Of course it matters_ !” He could barely even form words as he tried to fathom his Uncle’s stupidity. “You think it’s fine to just abandon a sixteen year old with a violent adult? Just because she _claims_ she’ll be okay if she continues to achieve perfect grades? First of all, that’s not even true since she’s only barely safe now because _I_ step in and second of all, what if her grades slip? Third of all, who knows how the _violent adult_ is going to react to me leaving and if that might put her in _more_ danger! I don’t care if she truly believes everything will be perfect or not--it’s not worth the risk!”

Iroh nodded, silent for a long moment. “I know my brother is a violent man, however there are certain lines--”

“Don’t.” Zuko snapped. “Don’t try to tell me that he hasn’t hurt her. That’s because of me. And yeah, you’re right, I _could_ be wrong. But it’s not worth the risk.”

“What am I supposed to do, nephew? Let’s say I get the information I need to blackmail Ozai into giving me custody, then what? Azula isn’t going anywhere she doesn’t want to.”

“I don’t know, Uncle, but what else am I supposed to do?”

“Let your sister make her own choices. She’s sixteen, she’s--”

“No, she doesn’t understand.” He sighed. “I’m _glad_ she doesn’t, I hope she never does.” He shook his head. “It just makes this harder.”

Iroh sighed. “We’ll work on the details another time, alright? For now, I’ll continue working with my contacts and you should go join your friends. I’ll come with, I’m sure they’ve been waiting to order for some time.”

~~~

Aang wasn’t ready to tell their friends. They knew they’d be supportive, but they felt like such an impostor already that they just weren’t ready for their identity to be common knowledge. They didn’t know how to talk about how they felt, if they fell between male and female or didn’t feel a gender at all. What even was gender?!

So they’d wait a while. They’d used he/him pronouns their whole life, having their friends use them wouldn’t be the end of the world. Right?

Ty Lee was laughing at Aang’s joke--it was more of a pun actually--and between giggles she said, “I didn’t know you were so funny, Aang.”

“Hey,” Sokka said, leaning into the table to be closer to them, “Aang is decently funny by himself, but he learned puns from the master.” 

Katara pulled away from her conversation with Toph to roll her eyes, “You’re calling yourself the pun master now? Not only is that super lame, dad would definitely beat you out for that title.”

“What do you think Aang, am I the pun master?” Then, in a mock whisper to Mai, Sokka said, “He’ll obviously choose me, best friend privileges.” Sokka _was_ Aang’s best friend, but hearing this fact said right after the word “he” just sounded wrong. Like Sokka didn’t know Aang at all. What kind of ‘best friend’ didn’t even know his best friend’s pronouns? They knew that wasn’t fair, that whenever the last GSA meeting was where they’d gone over pronouns (some time in the beginning of the year), Aang hadn’t said their pronouns were they/them. _Aang_ had thought they preferred he/him. But they didn’t anymore. They didn’t and if Sokka was their best friend, couldn’t he see that? They were different now. 

“Twinkle Toes can’t make a decision to save his life. Like when he gets married, he won’t know if he wants to be Mr. Gyatso or Mr. Kattuk. He--” Katara cut Toph off by shoving her and began yelling at her. 

Aang didn’t even notice the fact that Toph had just said they were going to marry Katara, because they were busy considering what identifier they’d prefer. Probably Mx, like Mx. Mak. Aang really liked Mx. Mak so any way they could be similar was probably a bonus. Mx. Gyatso, they didn’t mind that--they still were excited to share Gyatso’s last name and having the correct identifier was just icing on the cake. 

Katara’s attempt to murder Toph was cut short by Azula’s return to the table. She sat between Mai and Ty Lee, frowning. “My brother is an idiot.”

“Care to elaborate on that?” Katara asked after a beat of silence.

“No.”

“Great, thanks,” Sokka said, before turning back to Aang. “So, what do you think? Am I the pun master?”  
  


“Don’t do this to me,” Aang moaned overdramatically, but Suki came to their rescue.

“No way, you don’t get to go for Aang’s biased opinion. You and Hakoda need to have a pun-off.” 

“Ooo, that’s not a bad idea, Sukes. Who’s up for some Inuit barbeque this weekend?”

The conversation continued, but Aang was distracted by a text on their phone. Gyatso had asked what they wanted for dinner--since he’d be getting takeout on his way home--and called Aang “son.” Aang knew it was meant to be comforting, a reminder that they were accepted into Gyatso’s life. But instead it was a reminder that even the people who loved them most didn’t see them the way they wanted to be seen. 

The euphoria that had set in so quickly when Katara used their pronouns (and this euphoria did continue, when Katara or Suki used they/them pronouns in private), was quickly being overshadowed by the feeling that they were better off before they realized that this was an option. Back when they thought that being a boy was just non-identification with the term and the gender. Because was gender euphoria really worth this? 

It was. They knew it was and it would be even more once everyone used their correct pronouns. But this part--where some people knew and others did not--was just a little painful. They felt like they were lying to people, being disingenuous by letting them call them “he,” but also going to disappoint them when they found out they weren’t a “he.”

They needed to figure out a plan to make this better, they needed to be more confident in themself and their gender.

~~~

Zuko didn’t like being frustrated with Uncle Iroh. He knew Uncle was trying his best and wanted to protect Zuko. But what Uncle didn’t understand was that Zuko’s safety didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what happened to Zuko so long as Azula was safe. 

He was grateful for Sokka’s wide smile when he settled into his chair and Iroh greeted the others. Toph especially grinned at the man, but Ty Lee and Mai seemed to remember him from when he still spent his days at the Sugita home. Zuko missed those days.

Iroh collected drink orders, Azula smirking as she ordered the most elaborate tea-based item on the menu (although she preferred an iced black coffee, she knew that drinking what Uncle termed _ridiculous_ tea was even worse in his eyes than drinking bean-juice). 

Zuko tried to put his focus on the group around him--Suki’s eyes lighting up as she leaned over Katara and Aang (who were immersed in their own conversation) to tease Ty Lee, Mai and Azula sitting on their phones, and Toph teasing Uncle about the braille-menus having not arrived in the mail yet. But as much as seeing his friends all together chipped at the ice around his heart, the pit in his stomach wouldn’t go away.

Nobody understood. Nobody understood how much danger Azula was in, not even _Azula_. He was going to be stuck in that house until he died because of his ungrateful little sis--”Zuko?” A warm voice broke through his anxious haze. 

Once, his mother’s voice had been his favorite sound. He wasn’t positive he remembered what her voice sounded like--he could imagine it, but he was never sure he was remembering it just right--so for a long time Hadestown had contained his favorite sounds. Now? He was pretty sure it was Sokka’s voice. Even when he was yelling or excited, something about his voice just felt...soothing? to Zuko. He couldn’t explain it, he just knew he loved it.

Sokka reached for his hand so slowly that Zuko didn’t even flinch at the contact. “Are you okay, buddy?”

“Hmm?” He’d been back at the table, what, _30 seconds?_ How could Sokka tell something was wrong so damn quickly? “I’m fine, why?”

“I just wanted to make sure you’d been doing okay. Taking care of yourself, getting enough sleep, getting along with your uncle, all that jazz.”

“Of course,” he said, too quickly. Sokka raised his eyebrows and Zuko glanced around. The others were all engaged in conversation, but if they chose to listen, they’d hear Zuko clearly. “Can we go talk somewhere else?”

“Sure. I was thinking we should find somewhere to do math anyway.” Zuko nodded. The boys scooped up their bags when Iroh returned with their orders. “Zuko and I are going to grab another table to work on homework,” Sokka told the other teens. “Try not to get into any shenanigans without us.”

~~~

“Hey, Uncle, these babies are boring. You still down for a game of Pai Sho? Or afraid you can’t actually beat the Toph Master?”

Holding his empty drink tray at his side, Iroh’s smile crinkled his eyes along familiar wrinkles. “Ms. Beifong, I’d be happy to play. But how exactly--”

“One of these losers will be my eyes.” Toph jerked her thumb thoughtlessly at the table, unconcerned.

“Azula, would you like to--” Iroh asked, trying to sound casual and not at all like the future of his nephew’s plans rested on whether or not his niece said yes. 

“I think I made my feelings very clear, _Uncle_ , so no.” She enunciated every word, “I would not like to play your little game.”

“I can be your eyes, Toph,” Suki offered. Azula sent her a glare and Suki’s smile widened. Somehow Suki had known that although Azula hadn’t wanted to spend time with her uncle, she didn’t quite want Suki spending time with him either.

With an annoyed sigh, Azula returned to conversation with Ty Lee and Mai. Although Ty Lee was friends with Aang, no one disturbed they were in their own little world with Katara as they conversed over two cups of jasmine tea.

~~~

Zuko had been going to tell Sokka about his predicament and how no one would listen to him, but if he knew one thing about Sokka it was that he loved his father. His eyes lit up whenever he talked about Hakoda and he never seemed to understand Zuko’s apprehension at home. What if he tried to argue with him? He didn’t think he could handle that. 

“So, what’s wrong?”

He pushed his worries down. He couldn’t risk it, it was better not to mention it--he’d rather lie than have Sokka misunderstand. “I’m really fine, Sokka. Dramatic more than anything else. Uncle and Azula don’t see eye to eye and I had hoped—it was silly.”

“Your feelings aren’t silly. Or dramatic. What happened with your Uncle and Azula?”

Zuko ran a hand through his hair. “I just want Azula to realize that Uncle wants the best for her. He doesn’t have to be her favorite person, but she just refuses to talk to him because father doesn’t want her to and I just don’t know what to do!” Zuko felt more emotion creeping into his voice than he meant to show. He tried to swallow it, pushing the pesky feelings back down into his stomach, but Sokka was undeterred. 

“Don’t know what to do about what?”

“I--it’s--nothing, really. It doesn’t matter. Can we do math?”

“Hey, hey, hey. You can’t change the topic that fast. You’re clearly upset and I don’t want you to be.”

“I just need Azula to listen to me and Uncle, but she’s not going to. She only listens to herself and our father.” He spoke quickly, as if that would make Sokka drop the conversation faster. “Can we talk about anti-derivatives now?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to--”

“I’m fine, seriously. Let’s move on.” Sokka looked even less convinced, but didn’t pursue the topic.

~~~

Zuko and Azula had to leave, which meant Ty Lee and Mai left as well. Suki was trying to pretend otherwise, but as soon as Ty Lee and Mai left, she was no longer interested in being there. She gathered Toph and Aang to drive home, but Sokka stopped her. “Can I trade you a Katara for an Aang?”

“Hey!” Katara exclaimed.

“You’re stealing me?” Aang asked.

“I’ll just drive you home, but I wanted to talk to you, yeah.”

Suki shrugged. “Seems dumb, but okay. Girls’ trip.”

“Bold of you to assume that a single gender can encompass my identity,” Toph said.

Aang’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. “ _What_?”

Katara rolled her eyes, a fond smile lessening the effect. “How did you put it Toph? You’re too powerful to be contained to a single gender?”

“I deserve all the pronouns,” Toph agreed, “but since she/her’s fine, I don’t waste my energy caring how others perceive me. I know who I am.”

Oh. Toph didn’t need others to reaffirm what she already knew. Did Aang only want that because they were faking? Were they just looking for attention, while a _real_ trans person would—“Okay, girls and Toph are headed out, you ready, Aang?” They nodded and walked at Sokka’s side to exit the tea shop. 

“I know we haven’t been hanging out as much since—“

“Since you started flirting with Zuko?” 

“Not how I would’ve phrased it, but suuuure,” the fact that Sokka was brushing past Aang’s clear bait was a sign this was an actual serious conversation, “anyway I just wanted to make sure you’re okay? You’ve been doing that thing where you smile a little _too_ much.” 

“Maybe I’m just really happy,” Aang stuck out their tongue at Sokka. 

“Maaaybe,” Sokka agreed, “but I just wanted to check in.”

“Can I take a rain check? I—I guess I have been a little off lately, but I’m not really ready to talk about it.”

“That’s fine,” Sokka paused. “Wait. You’re not upset with me, though, right?”

“No,” Aang laughed, “it has nothing to do with you, don’t worry.”

“I love you, bud.”

“I love you too.”

As Aang buckled into the passenger seat, they stretched out their legs. Although they’d grown since they first met Sokka, and was well on their way to being a gangly teenager, they still had plenty of space. “It’s been too long since I’ve claimed my seat, cause _somebody’s_ been too busy to hang out.”

“Oh? Is that your way of saying you want to drive to BDE with me instead of going home?”

“Really?” Aang asked, eyes lighting up. “But it’s an hour away and it’s 5:00--not to mention the middle of the week, don’t you have better things to do?”

“Then hang out with one of my best friends? Never.”

As Sokka put the car into reverse, Aang smirked. “One of your best friends? Wow, Zuko stole my title, didn’t he?”  
  


Sokka blushed. “I wouldn’t say—“

Aang interrupted their embarrassed friend. “Sokka, I’m kidding. It’s all good anyway, cause Katara’s my—“

“Finish that sentence and I’m kicking you out of this car!” Sokka yelled.

~~~

Aang hadn’t realized how long it had been since they’d listened to their designated Ice Cream Playlist, but as Panic! At the Disco played on Sokka’s janky speakers, they let out a sigh. They’d texted Gyatso about their location and gotten official permission for their impromptu road trip. 

Neither teen talked much during the ride, content to scream-sing along to the music. Sokka did point out any landmarks that had changed since they’d last made the trip, including new graffiti that said 420. Aang was sure to point out every dog they saw. 

~~~

What Sokka called BDE was actually called Bumi’s Dessert Eatery. It had opened right when the acronym was at peak popularity, so Sokka was positive the eccentric old man was aware of the meaning. Toph, who came along sometimes, was convinced that Bumi had a secret meme account. Aang insisted it was an unfortunate mistake, but refused to let anyone bring it up in front of Bumi. Almost as if they suspected that Bumi wouldn’t confirm their story. 

The place was small, with only two sets of freezer displays (showing eight flavors in total), but the wall’s bright colors made up for it. There was a counter for inside sitting that allowed you to see out the window while being next to the wall of candy as well as three tables in the area in front of the counters. Sokka and Aang had never seen the place without customers, but it was rare that anyone stayed to actually eat their ice cream in the store.

When finished helping a mother and her child get chocolate ice cream, Bumi turned his toothy gaze on Aang and Sokka. His green shirt matched the vibrant green on the walls, his nametag the same yellow as the stools and the counters. “Hello kiddos!” As he laughed, Aang couldn’t help but wonder if they’d ever heard Bumi use the word “kiddos” when just they and Sokka were there. Usually, Bumi would call them boys, but--maybe he could tell? “I’ll save you the trouble of looking, the only new flavor is cinnamon. It’s good, but not as good as the rocky road. One cone and one cup, or two cones?” 

Aang and Bumi looked expectantly at Sokka. “Let’s go crazy,” he joked, “Two cones.”

“Two cones of rocky road coming right up!” Bumi hummed to himself as he gave Sokka and Aang generous scoops. 

Sokka thanked Bumi, refused to let Aang pay, and the two took their usual seats at the counter. They enjoyed looking out the window as they ate, watching people scurrying to the nearby Starbucks or exiting the library with a book clutched contentedly in their hands.

They sat in sugar-filled silence for a bit, before Sokka began to tease Aang for the ice cream dripping on their hands--and the fact that somehow they had gotten ice cream on their nose. 

With a cone of Rocky Road in their hand and a laughing Sokka across from them, Aang was considering coming out. They’d nearly told Sokka half a dozen times that week already and there was no time like the present, right? 

“Sokka?” they asked and Sokka’s eyes met theirs, sensing the tone shift. 

“Aang?” He asked, silently asking _is everything okay_?

Aang opened their mouth, searching for the right words. Before Aang could find them and muster up the courage to tell Sokka, Bumi was approaching. 

“Hey, before you two decide to disappear for another month, I want to give you some free samples of my new rock candy that I’m working on. Here, one for you, one for you, and will you give one to Toph too?”

“Thanks Bumi!” Aang said, happy to have candy, despite the interrupted moment.

“Thanks,” Sokka said, eying the rock candy suspiciously. “What’s--uh--unique about it this time?”

“That’s half the fun!” Bumi exclaimed, “I’ve got lots of different varieties and you never know what you’re getting! It might be my take on pop rocks, my everlasting rock candy, rock candy that tattoos your tongue, or who knows what else! They’ve worked like 50% of the time, so have fun!”

“Thanks, Bumi,” Aang and Sokka repeated, this time feeling more uncertain. Sokka even more so than Aang, since last time he’d tried an experimental candy his tongue had itched for three days straight.

~~~

When they finished their rocky road--Sokka actually managed to get most of it in his mouth, while Aang shared his ice cream between his limbs, face, and shirt--they said goodbye to Bumi and headed out to the car.

They chatted aimlessly for a bit, their ice cream playlist turned down low, and it was nice to just catch up on each other’s lives. 

As they listened to Sokka complain about an obnoxious science project, they considered coming out. They felt ready--or at least, ready to stop hearing he/him pronouns--but they didn’t really want to have to do the whole “coming out” thing over and over and over. Why couldn’t their friends and Gyatso all be in one place at one time?

Wait. That was a good idea.

“Sokka?”

“Yeah?” Sokka replied, surprised to be interrupted in his rant about Hess’ Law.

“Oh, sorry, I got distracted from what you were saying--I wanted to ask you something.”

“Go ahead, I wasn’t saying anything important anyway,” Sokka laughed and Aang could tell that he truly meant it and wasn’t saying that just to be nice. He wasn’t being self-deprecating either. Sokka and Aang were both the type of people who just needed to _talk_ and often it didn’t matter if anyone was listening, so long as they got the chance to say the words.

“Could I invite Gyatso on Saturday? I have something I want to share with everyone--it’s nothing to worry about I promise--and I don’t really want to have to repeat it over and over.”  
  


“Of course, bud. Do you want the others to bring their parents as well?” 

Aang shrugged. “If they want to. But I know Suki’s moms are usually busy and Toph and Zuko don’t get along great with their parents, so it’s not a big deal either way.”

“Okay. We’ll see what happens. But I’m glad we’ll all be together to hear your news.”

Aang smiled back at Sokka, who had no idea just how glad Aang really was. “Yeah, me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next week we have the pun battle. i don't know how to write puns, but sokka and suki decided to spring this on me so we'll see how it goes. the coming out should be cute. i hope to be back soon and not in a three thousand weeks. but i have no promises. (especially since i'm gonna do better than just "inuit food" or whatever cop out i gave last time kanna cooked. i'm gonna learn about some dishes for real....but if anyone wants to help me please feel free cause my uncomfirmed adhd HATES research)
> 
> also i learned how to link things so i could link the art so now i can actually link [my tumblr!!!](https://boomerangsandadora.tumblr.com/)  
> it's a mess but if you send me anything related to wwda (or any of my oneshots or just say hi) i will be so happy!!
> 
> am i allowed to add a little 🥺please give me comments🥺 even though i'm like two months behind on responding? (i really do respond to them all!! i just take forever cause social anxiety+lack of time). if you have the time, comments really encourage me to continue writing (and cater to what y'all enjoy) and i have reason to believe that you might get some left over valentine's day treats if you comment ;p  
> if you do comment, put whatever you want ofc, but i would love to know if you think azula believe the story about suki's moms, your reaction to toph's many pronouns (shout out to @claracaboozle for putting that in my mind. it wouldn't leave), your reaction to iroh (i was thinking that he was maybe being a bit too passive, but honestly i think that's realistic to canon??), thoughts on brotp sokka + aang, if you laughed at BDE as much as I did, and if you're excited for aang's coming out! 
> 
> oh!! i have another thing to link, i almost forgot!! if you think i have a cool and/or fun vibe, like zukka, teenage stupidity, or symbolism, then you should listen to the podcast i co-host!! for it to make sense you have to read hella1975's [The Art of Burning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25736617/chapters/62496421) which i probably would've recommended sooner only i have a fear y'all will realize how many better fics there are and stop reading this 😳 ANYYWAYS, check out [The Art of Podcasting](https://anchor.fm/taop1975) it's a really fun time and you get to find out what my voice sounds like which may be a con, idk. 
> 
> anyway please make good choices and i hope to see you soon!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it and feel free to drop a comment ;)
> 
> This is a [tumblr post](https://boomerangsandadora.tumblr.com/post/643850585375965184/hi-i-hope-youre-having-a-a-good-day-and-sorry) about how much disordered eating is featured in the fic and it will help you know which bigger scenes to avoid if it's a sensitive topic for you! as far as i know no one has had any issues reading this so i wouldn't worry if you're not particularly sensitive, but i figured this might be helpful to any readers who had a similar hesitation to anon! always feel free to visit [my tumblr](https://boomerangsandadora.tumblr.com/) to give me your thoughts or ask about anything!


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